Why Wives Leave Their Husbands

The immortal words "to have and hold…from this day forward... until death do us part"……Brave words, spoken in wedding ceremonies across the English speaking countries, in church weddings, and indeed in many civil ceremonies. Words that are spoken with belief…vows made for life at the beginning of many partnerships. And yet, today sees the largest proportion of failed partnerships than ever.

So what changes so profoundly, that a wife feels there is no alternative other than to leave her husband?

The Soul Mate

It is a fact of life that, in general, women care more about marriage than men do. This is not always the case, but it is in the majority. Women see marriage as a roadway through life. They seek out that illusive "soul mate" with whom they hope to share this journey. The word soul mate says it all. A person to not only to share their life with, but also their after-life, forever more.

The Home Maker and the Hunter

Woman is by nature, the home maker, and traditionally, man, the hunter and provider. Whilst this may spark an angry outcome amongst the liberated women of the 21st century, particularly in the western world, this liberalism in itself can, and does, provide the catalyst for many wives who leave their husbands.

Whereas once upon a time, women were content to make a home and raise the children, they now take equal share, sometimes the prime share or main share in being the provider. It is common knowledge that this phenomenon began in the second-world war, when wives, with their men-folk gone to fight for "king and country", were left to provide for their families or starve. Jobs galore opened up for them in the munitions factories and in working the land.

Men have found it hard to accept their "demotion". Those who can’t make the transition often feel a sense of under-achievement and begin to feel resentful. Women’s expectations of their husbands in the "soul-mate syndrome", will find their dream unattainable, leading to their inevitable walk out.

Modern Times

It was not so many years ago that divorce was frowned upon and scandalized. However, in this modern age, there is no such stigma attached to it. The ease and familiarity of divorce, makes this inevitable dissolution a much easier option for women to take. In actual fact, women instigate twice as many divorce proceedings than men.

Mental Cruelty

The most common grounds are mental cruelty. This can manifest itself in many ways, but in general, it stems from the feeling that their husband doesn’t contribute enough, and no longer recognizes her needs and doesn’t seem to listen or care. This stimulates a feeling of neglect and ultimate frustration.

Neglect

Actual neglect itself is cited as the second biggest cause of divorce. Emotional and physical abandonment are common hallmarks of "work away" husbands…..husbands who can be away from home for long weeks at a time. Husbands who work long hours…..who spend time at home working on their laptops, or taking their laptops and mobiles away on holiday with them, causing a distraction… an interruption to that precious family time together.

Women are notoriously more alert to their partners than men are. The hurtful "you didn’t notice my new hair do" or forgetting birthdays, and worst of all….. wedding anniversaries. All these are forms of neglect, and no matter how inconsequential they may appear to the husband, they are the building blocks of this feeling of neglect.

Physical Manifestations

There are many other causes or grounds for divorce including: Physical abuse, having an extra marital affair, drink (alcoholism) ,drug abuse, and general criminal behavior. However, whilst it is true that these are all probable causes of a wife leaving her husband, they comprise a surprisingly small proportion of walk-outs. Indeed the courage of women who live with these misdeeds is almost beyond understanding.

It is said that men come from Mars, and women, from Venus. Unfortunately in many causes this does illustrate the simple fact that man and women are very different creatures.

For the self-willed, confident and assertive, yet tender and emotional, multi tasking wife of today, I fear the progression of wives leaving their husbands is set to continue.

The modern husband is beginning to react (shared parenting, parental leave, considering their wife’s needs and feelings etc.). But is it too little, too late?

Get Her Back Blueprint
Advice for men looking to win back their woman.