Why Me, Why Then - Chapter 2
Continued...
It was the same as any other day, I got up again, did my jobs again and what do I get; nothing again.
Nothing ever changes in my house, scenery; the atmosphere; not even the moods of the people change still after all these years still my heart cries out for love still I don't get it. Maybe I'll get it one day, if I'm good enough she will come to me and give me a hug, just 1. Tell me it is all over and I'm hers forever, she will never let me go and me and her are going to go away some place like a proper family.
I'm now 10, I haven't had anything still, I've learned the hard way that affection and devotion isn't going to come. The youngest Thomas is her pride and joy, the goody goody of the 3 sons the tell tale the one that sucks up to her and tells her everything, he is just the same and he will turn out just like her. The second youngest max straight A student all the way, he is the loved one as well along with Joe the eldest who's now 8 and gets kid of the week every week. I'm no longer a son, not in her eyes, I'm the nobody and always will be.
"Skiv get here now" She bellowed with her fat arse bedded into the sofa, "Get me a drink, NOW "
I ran she would count me, more than 10 seconds and id get the beating I knew it.
I placed the drink into her cupped cracked hand "Jay, when you were very little you were such a cute baby you know, I pushed you everywhere and everyone who would pass by would comment on you, everyone even the mayor 1 time. We were so proud but then u changed, idn how you did u just did, we tried everything, we locked u in your room, the cupboard we even tied u up one time do u remember. You still hadn't changed. You brought this all on yourself you know that right. When you're a good boy, you get a cuddle okay "
I could smell licker on her breath, the smell was intoxicating it made me feel vile, like I wanted to puke. She told me this every single day but I still got no cuddle. That was something I learned to deal with. I would never be loved and I would live my life lonely.
I smiled to her and turned around. I felt a tear drop down my cheek like it did every time she told me. It was all my fault and I can't change this, I can't change what I have become. A nobody.
Nothing ever changes in my house, scenery; the atmosphere; not even the moods of the people change still after all these years still my heart cries out for love still I don't get it. Maybe I'll get it one day, if I'm good enough she will come to me and give me a hug, just 1. Tell me it is all over and I'm hers forever, she will never let me go and me and her are going to go away some place like a proper family.
I'm now 10, I haven't had anything still, I've learned the hard way that affection and devotion isn't going to come. The youngest Thomas is her pride and joy, the goody goody of the 3 sons the tell tale the one that sucks up to her and tells her everything, he is just the same and he will turn out just like her. The second youngest max straight A student all the way, he is the loved one as well along with Joe the eldest who's now 8 and gets kid of the week every week. I'm no longer a son, not in her eyes, I'm the nobody and always will be.
"Skiv get here now" She bellowed with her fat arse bedded into the sofa, "Get me a drink, NOW "
I ran she would count me, more than 10 seconds and id get the beating I knew it.
I placed the drink into her cupped cracked hand "Jay, when you were very little you were such a cute baby you know, I pushed you everywhere and everyone who would pass by would comment on you, everyone even the mayor 1 time. We were so proud but then u changed, idn how you did u just did, we tried everything, we locked u in your room, the cupboard we even tied u up one time do u remember. You still hadn't changed. You brought this all on yourself you know that right. When you're a good boy, you get a cuddle okay "
I could smell licker on her breath, the smell was intoxicating it made me feel vile, like I wanted to puke. She told me this every single day but I still got no cuddle. That was something I learned to deal with. I would never be loved and I would live my life lonely.
I smiled to her and turned around. I felt a tear drop down my cheek like it did every time she told me. It was all my fault and I can't change this, I can't change what I have become. A nobody.
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