Why Do People Get Divorced?

I can't think of settling down with one decent reason as to why most of the marriages don't last after a certain time phase. This is because marriages today do not mean the same as they meant a couple of years ago. In primitive times, when someone stood before the Almighty and said 'I Do', they literally meant those words which would last forever. But today, those same words sound hollow. When you plan to get married, obviously you don't intend to get divorced. But people's values and outlook over the years have changed drastically. Today, a relationship has everything like cheating, boredom, adultery, money related issues, children, but love and respect. If such aspects take place in your marriage, then neither of you really want to work at it anymore. Probably the next thing you would see yourself doing, would be sitting in a courtroom or a lawyer's office signing unpleasant divorce papers. However, you should take such a step only when you are emotionally ready to go through with such a decision. Generally most divorces happen due to a family's orthodox thinking or family pressure. Some partners really never get to know each other, resulting in a divorce after a few years of incompatibility. And in many cases, people marry for all the wrong reasons. That's exactly when the tragic journey of divorce starts.

Common Causes and Reasons Why People Get Divorced

Breakdown in Communication and Disclosure
Maximum marriages begin with a romantic, fairytale interaction between the partners, also known as a 'honeymoon phase'. Today, this effect does not last long. Eventually, there comes a point in the marriage where acknowledging each others minor flaws and habits gets very difficult. The fact has to be accepted that living a normal day-to-day life is not easy when it comes to terms of money or personal life. If you cannot meet each other's basic needs, you're bound to get frustrated and annoyed over a period of time. If either one of your partner is piling up grudges on their chests, by not sorting things out with you, then definitely such reasons will cause a relationship breakdown.

Money Problems
If you have heard the lyrics of the song 'Money, Money, Money...' by the famous band ABBA which goes "I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay, ain't it sad.. And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me, that's too bad". Well, the condition of either one of the partner turns out to be the same after marriage. You do not contribute financially, and afterward unnecessarily depend on your spouse. You formulate this habit because he or she can pay all the expenditures. You ultimately realize that you have spent all your earnings in paying off the bills and managing other costs. Later you hold your partner responsible to not being supportive enough. When money is abundant or scarce, a lot of money related issues can blow up into big fights and could lead to a divorce.

Changes in Appearance and Incompatible Sexual Life
Physical appearance and attraction towards one has become the top main reason why two people develop an intimate relationship. Initially, couples get together because they feel physically attracted to each other. As time passes, it's more likely that taking good care of your body, like you did when you were single, gets unmanageable. If your partner no more finds you attractive, then chances are they do not find you sexually attractive as well. This belief causes frustration and indifference in a marital stage. One of the spouse begins to feel trapped and bored in such a relationship and simply finds a way out to meet their own needs. They either have an affair with somebody or show infidelity towards their partner. A cheating wife or a husband can often be very painful and emotional for a person to handle. That's why, cheating in a relationship becomes one of the leading reasons for divorce.

Physical Abuse or Emotional
Abuse is another main inference as to why people get divorced. This is not observed in specific countries and places, but it happens round the globe. This part in a marriage is the most vicious factor a spouse has to face. Inflicting physical, emotional, verbal or a combination of any abuses, can eventually lead the other partner to file for a divorce. If abuse is involved in a relationship, one needs to get a complete separation as soon as possible. Such a stage in a marriage strictly displays that love between the two has long gone and you must not stick around for long. This is the phase where you have to abate all the pain, suffering and emotional problems that you have put your state of mind to. Abuses never mystically disappear on its own, so enduring such a significant burden does not sound rational for any human being.

Believe It or Not: 'Children'
Many people think children are a 'perfect gift from God' and are so wonderful, that deciding to have them becomes an important choice for many couples. Some couples after the honeymoon phase, attempt to rekindle their passion for each other by deciding to have children. And some couples get married, just to have children as a part of their lives. At the outset, the partners feel wonderful having children, but ironically in due time, it has an opposite effect on them. Couples realize that raising children involves so much time and money. One of the spouse works harder and for longer hours to contribute the extra expenses of a child, whereas the other partner endows a thorough upbringing in a child. In this fashion, to raise children, couples invest several hours in their daily life and after years, discover that they sparsely have any time to maintain their marriage. And this is why people divorce after 20 years, because children were the only reason they were still together.

Personality Change
Two people get involved and reach a stage in their marriage, where they learn to share themselves with each other. But it is not necessary the marriage has to meet the expected needs and standards. Majority of the individuals have a 'free spirit' attitude even before they get married. If such people get a chance, they would love to explore life in their own way. Some marry at a very young age before they can discover their true self and purpose of being alive. To pursue such an attitude, one of the spouse becomes confident in exploring who they are as a person and embarks on a new journey towards their dreams and desires. Eventually, one of the partners will demand of the other, asking for more time and space for themselves. Of course, such behavior naturally creates a void in your minds and a lot of relationship issues get triggered from that point. An individual's such significant change in personalities and values have resulted in dissolution of marriages. Sometimes this personality change truly is inevitable.

I believe life gives you one true chance to make a sensible and a correct decision. If you fail to justify that, you almost lose the meaning of living this life. I never could stomach the reasons why marriages fail and end in a divorce. Are there too many problems? Or is it each others attitudes that cannot be handled. Well, if you overlook these midget things and acknowledge each others gratitude, you will positively find happiness and love awaiting for you to meet your wide, big eyes.