Why Did You Lie

I remember
Walking you home
On a cold breezy day.
I went to take your hand,
You took my arms,
Said
No wait
I looked at you
And said
No
Don’t do this
AGAIN!!
I can’t.
As I walked away
You said
Wait please
I turned
Said why
You said you just couldn’t
You had so many problems
And no time for love
I said I can help
You said
No I have to do it on my own.
I screamed
As tears ran down.
I got dizzy
Sat down by the ditch
Wanted to run
But couldn’t move
You said
Please don’t do anything
I still love you
Don’t hurt yourself
I kept my head down
Blocking out every word
You walked off
And I looked
You were disappearing
As the tears came down
I couldn’t move
For ever
Then I got up
Started walking towards the bridge
With only thoughts
Of how could you
You promised
Why???
Was it me?
Had I done something wrong?
Or was it you?
Will I ever know?
And all I remember
Is you taking my hands
As I looked at you in the eyes
Tears appearing
You repeating
The words
You had said only the night before
Saying
No more
And me screaming
As tears fell
And you walking away
As tears fell
You disappeared
And after that
Never again was it the same
Ruined it was
I was ruined
I was suicidal
Forever more
Why?
You promised
You would NEVER hurt me
Then goodbye
Every guy
Has whispered that in my ear
Only you said it aloud
And every day
I tell myself
I’m over him
Tell every one those same
3 words
But deep down
I will always love him
And was never over him
Why did you do that
To me
Why not her?
Why
Why me