Why Did You Leave Me? chapter 10 AND 11 (ALREADY?!)

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-Ryan's POV-

"Why can't you remember me, love?" I murmured quietly so that she wouldn't wake up.

April fell asleep on the couch so I was carrying her up to her room. I sighed silently as a single tear escaped my eyes.

'Fuck...This is what I get for leaving her...I don't deserve her.' I thought to myself. These days, I was always tormenting myself with guilt but I couldn't help it.

As I laid her down on her bed, she stirred. She looked like an angel there. My heart pounded and ached at the same time. I traced the countours of her face with my finger tips, barely touching her. I walked out of the room without making a sound when I heard Benny walking in the house.

-Benny's POV-

"Hey. Is she asleep already?" I asked as I made my way over to Ryan.

"Yeah..." His voice cracked and he looked like he was ready to cry.

"Y-you okay?"

"I'm fine..." I knew he wasn't just "fine". I knew that he was suffering inside...just like me.

"Dammit, Ryan. Stop acting like that. It's going to be alright. She can't just forget you like that. You know she really loved you." I whispered the truth. I looked down, trying to hide the pain in my eyes.

Ryan looked up at the ceiling and then just shook his head. "I need some air. I'll be back later...don't wait up for me."

I nodded quickly and went upstairs to check on April. I opened the door quietly. When I looked at her my heart still skipped a beat and my palms still tingled. I knew I loved her. I was in love with this girl, she took my heart but she wouldn't give it back.

"I love you, but you'll never love me..." I murmured while I took her cold hands gently in to one of mine. "You'll never fully be mine."

I kissed her hands softly, while remembering all of our good childhood memories. I sighed contentedly. I wanted to live and stay in the past. I missed the times when we cried about broken crayons, not broken hearts.

-Ryan's POV-

I was walking aimlessly outside in the cold wind. It was dead quiet and I could only hear my own breathing. Stupid me...Why did I have to leave April?! I sighed as the grief took over me.

My phone started to vibrate then. I reached into my pocket and glanced at the caller ID. I didn't know the number. I answered and I didn't recognize the voice either.

"Hullo? Is this Ryan?" He had a little British accent.

"Uhm yes. Who's this?"

*AFTER CONVERSATION*

As I was writing this note, I felt like I wanted to kill myself. I knew how much pain April would have to go through AGAIN because of me. The tears left dark, wet spots on the note. I had to leave quickly before I changed my mind. But before I left, I had to give something to her. I was meaning to give it to her when she remembers me but I couldn't now...

I left the necklace on top of the bedside table, next to April's bed. I looked over at the sleeping beauty next to me. I cringed as I remembered her face streamed with tears. I kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then finally her lips.

"I love you...Be happy, love." I murmured into her hair.

As I walked out of the room, I looked back one last time. The tears just wouldn't stop. How many times this girl made me cry, I had no idea. I guess that's why it's called "love". The pain in my heart grew.

When I walked downstairs I saw Benny on the couch sleeping.

"Take care of her for me." I whispered and left.

-April's POV-

I squinted when I opened my eyes. The sun was bright and it hurt to look. I glanced at the clock and it was only six, but I got up anyway.

I quickly took a shower to wake myself up and walked downstairs. In the living room, I found Benny crashing on my couch. His light hair covered most of his eyes and he looked like a little boy. He had a little smile on. Benny looked absolutely adorable. The blanket was thrown on the floor, so I picked it up and put it on top of Benny. He stirred a bit but he didn't wake up.

I frowned and shook my head in disapproval. Him and Ryan didn't need to babysit me like this...I was fine now.

I didn't want to wake him up so I quietly made my way to the kitchen. I opened the huge stainless steel refrigerator for some eggs when I noticed the small note. A familiar red magnet was holding it up.

"I have to leave you again, I'm so sorry, but it doesn't mean I don't love you. You are my life and you're the only one who can touch my heart. I hope you remember me soon...but don't worry, this isn't a good bye note. I promise on my life, I will see you again, someday. I don't know when, but I will come back for you. I love you...forever & always.

-Ryan"

I read it quietly to myself. What the hell?! He loved me?! Wait, where did he go? Why? How? The questions were endless.

Suddenly, the walls around me seemed to move. My head was pounding and I was dizzy. I fell onto the ground. Images started to fill my mind. Most of them were of me and Ryan in each other’s arms laughing. I looked happy there...

It hit me then. Ryan...he was the love of my life, my soulmate. How could I have forgotten him?! And now he was gone, once again.

'No...no. God please!!' I thought.

I jerked on the floor as all the memories came back. The tears started to spill endlessly. My heart felt like it was ripped out. I was crushed, just like last time. But this was a greater pain. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to die. I didn't want to live without Ryan...What was I going to do?!

Just then Benny walked in to find me on the floor crying. He walked over to me. I looked up but my vision was blurry from my tears, yet I could still see the pain and horror in his beautiful eyes.

He kneeled down to pick up the note. As he read it, his face became distorted with anger and grief.

"April..." Benny cradled me in his arms. "April..." His voice was husky and I could hear the fury behind it.

"I remember h-him. But it doesn't matter now. H-he's gone, B-benny..." I said in between sobs and tears.

This time it wasn't just a heartbreak. It felt like he took a huge piece of me with him when he left. I was empty without him. I didn't know how to function properly without him.

"I am so sorry..." Benny whispered over and over again. But this wasn't right. Why did Benny have to suffer along with me when it wasn't his fault? It was my fault for loving him so much. I should have known better that love wasn't meant for me.

"B-but he will come back, r-right? He p-promised...He wouldn't lie to m-me..Right, Benny??" I whispered.

Benny just shook his head and the pain I felt right now was reflected in his eyes. I was causing him pain. I was a pain in the ass for everyone...I wanted so badly to take away Benny's pain but I couldn't.

Stupid me. How could I still have hope?! Hope was bad...It gives you light when everything is dark, but in the end it let's you down. I blamed myself. I loved him too much and I gave him the ability to destroy me. And destroy me he did. I trusted him not to, but he did and this is what I get. I believe I deserved every ounce of pain I felt right now.

He promised me once that he would never leave me, yet he left me twice. He said he would always stand next to me, but where is he now?

Yet I still couldn't bring myself to regret ever loving him...If I could go back in time, I would choose him all over again. I will wait for him because I loved him, and if he comes back, I would forgive him...because he's the one for me.
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-hope you liked it. PLEASE COMMENT. && the reason Ryan left will be revealed in later chapters...so don't get too mad at Ryan!-