Who To Choose? Chapter Seven

Over the next few days my life seemed to be a constant blur. I was in love with Zac Montgomery but now I knew it was too late to tell him. He'd met someone else and I knew that he didn't want me anymore. It was my own fault for being so stubborn and denying it for so long. If I'd only realized sooner, maybe I would be happy now. I wouldn't be stuck in my house like the loner I'd become. I had no friends and my life was just boring. I didn't go out, I didn't talk to people; I'd become a recluse. All because I was so stupid to realize something that was right in front of my face. How could anyone be so stupid?

On Monday, I reluctantly got out of bed and put on my uniform. I was glad I had only a few weeks left of my final year before I could go off to some distant place for a University education. I wasn't going to come back to this stupid city, it had done nothing but cause me trouble my whole life. I knew I was being completely melodramatic, but I missed Zac and I began to deeply regret the way I had treated him. I knew that it was all a part of life, but I just didn't want to live this way. I wanted something to change; I wanted something good. As I left the house and walked to school I saw Jase and shouted him over.

"I guess you were right. I do love Zac, but I'm trying my hardest not to. You know? He has someone new now," I half smiled at him. He looked good today and his smile was so nice.
"I knew you were. You always have been, it just took you a long time to realize it," he smiled back. How did he know all this? We were hardly close to each other. The only reason I knew him was because he was a friend of Evan's.
"Erm, but how did you know?"
"I pay attention to you Grace. I always have. Evan asked me to in the beginning, he knew you were hurting because of your parents. But since then, I've just felt the need to look out for you." He was so sweet; looking out for me when I didn't even realize it.
"Thank you," I whispered. I reached out and took his hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. I tried to let go but he wouldn't let me and I knew that I was getting into something that I would regret, yet again.

We walked all the way to school hand in hand and he didn't let go until we had to go our separate ways.
"I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Sure," I replied, unsure what was happening. I couldn't like Jase, not when I was in love with someone else. That just wasn't right. It would hurt Jase so bad; but he knew I loved Zac. What was happening between us? I was so confused that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I walked right into someone.
"Sor-" I began, before I noticed it was Zac.
"That's okay, Gracie." he held out his arm to help steady me and his touch made me tingle. I knew I couldn't hang around him without telling him how I felt. I had to get out of there and pretty quickly too. As I began to walk away he grabbed my arm. I looked back at him to see what he wanted but his face was dead from emotion. I pulled myself away and walked off before I started to cry in front of him. I sat through my classes thinking about his touch and I suddenly felt sad. Sad because I couldn't have him. Sad because Jase wanted something I couldn't give him. And sad because my life was falling apart.

As I walked home that day I tried to keep out of sight of both Zac and Jase. I didn't know what I would do if I saw them; I'd probably have a mental breakdown. I felt so alone; sure I had my Gran and Melissa, but I didn't think they would understand what I was going through. I swiftly walked up my street when I noticed someone in my front garden. As I got closer I realized it was Zac; I couldn't do this, not now!
"Zac, I'm sorry but I can't do this right now!"
"Gracie, just listen to me please. I know you saw me the other day with Liana and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her but we weren't speaking." he was pleading with me and I was trying to stay strong.
"We're still not talking," I said trying to close my door but he put his foot in the way.
"Grace Marie Adams, you will listen to me, and you will do it now." I opened the door, knowing that I couldn't resist him.
"What do you want?" I sighed, knowing that I was in for it.
"What do I want? I want you Grace, you know this! You won't let me in to your life; just let me in. You should trust me of all people. I have always been here for you and now you've just cut me off. I love you, Gracie and no one is going to change that. Please!"
"What about Liana?"
"What about her? That was just a one off. Gracie, come on."
"I can't, I'm sorry," this time, he let me shut the door. As soon as the door closed I slid to the floor, my heart finally breaking into tiny pieces.