When You Have Everything, You Crave Nothing. 1

Today, something hit me. No, not literally, but as good as. I have everything. Absolutely everything. It sounds amazing, doesn't it? And I guess it is, but...I don't know. I don't want it all now. I know, I sound crazy, I'm the most envied woman as I have everything you wish for when you were younger, the ideal fairytale, but, I'm not happy. So, just now, I've decided I'm going to restart my life again! Ahhh! How exciting is that! Literally, I will start again struggling to get by in a whole new place, meeting new people, building up my wealth again and reliving my life, again! I don't know how long it'll last, but I'm going to do it. Just after I've broken the news to my Prince Charming boyfriend Sean. Then my friends. Then my family. Doss!

'Saph, dinner's ready.' He calls out to me in our penthouse suite in Central London. I'm in the bath at the moment when my amazing thought occurred. I put my dressing gown on and walk out the bathroom feeling 2ft taller.

'You look happy, Saph.' He comments with as smile on his face, twirling the spaghetti around his fork.

'I am Seany.'

'Why's that then?'

'What would you say if I said I wanted to give everything I've got up and started over again?'

He ponders this then says 'I'd say you're mad.'

'Why?'

'Why would you want to, my love?'

'Seany, I have everything, we have everything. Don't you just feel like you want to start a fresh?'

'Honestly, no Saph. I like how life is going at the moment. We're financially great. I've got the best girlfriend in the world. I've got a job which I love and I love where I am. I'm guessing you're not.'

'I feel like I need to start a new.'

'How?'

'Well, maybe change jobs, change location, have no money, work myself up again.'
He looks at me admiringly and says 'Right, well Saphy you know I'll always support you. So, where would you go?'

'New York.'

Seany snorts up his wine and says 'New York? Why not a different place in London?'

'I want a new life Seany and I love New York. Remember, I went there for a year at uni.'
He nods 'So you want to go to New York and do what?'

'I don't know. I've only just thought about it.'

'Ok, so if you're serious about this, why don't you do a trial over summer for eight weeks?'

'You're genius! I love that idea. Yes! I'll promote Ann to take over my role then I can go free in New York!'

'So you're leaving everything behind?'

'Everything!'

'So no money.'

'Well the basics, I don't want to die.'

He giggles 'Ok, so you're going to live off the basics and do what?'

'Get a job in a magazine over there.'

'That'll be easy with your experience.' What Seany is referring to is that I am in fact head of Confessions magazine in London. They can't really turn me down. 'So where will you live?'

'I'll flat share.'

'Then after eight weeks you'll come back?'

'Yes.' Well no. That should really have been a maybe because if New York changes me, why would I want to come back, but he doesn't need to know that.

'So I'll lock your account then?'

'Let's not go too far.' I say grinning.

'A whole new start you said.'

I look at his smile then say 'Fine. Lock it. I'll survive.'

'But what about us?'

'Let's go on a break.'

Seany looks at me shell shocked. 'Really? Um, do you want to? Are you sure?'

'Seany, this'll show me how fortunate I am. You know that secret millionaire program, well, that'll be me, but without giving to charity.'

He laughs 'Charitable, Saph. So you want to end it?'

'No! Seany, I love you, I just need to understand what I have and how much it means to me. I'm giving you an opportunity to sleep around here.'

'Like I'd do that to you.' And I know he wouldn't. I lean across the table and plant a kiss on his lips lovingly.

'Thank you for believing in me, Seany.'

'That's what I'm here for. Now go and get organizing if you're serious about this.'

And I am. I'm not too sure if he really believes me, but I'm going to do it. At the start of the summer I will be starting a whole new life and I can't wait!