When Sparks Fly...Chapter 31

Hello everyone! I know this chapter has taken forever to get out but I have been so busy I cannot explain! I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait as it follows directly on from the last chapter! I really hope you like it and please comment!

Ella Jade-ahh, you didn't hurt my feelings, I know it is very long and I understand your frustration in wanting it to end, but I haven't worked out an ending as of yet! Haha!
Phoebe-your little anecdotes of your life make me smile! Ahh, have fun trick or treating and I hope you get lots of sweeties! Mm, no I have never been called phoebester, some people refer to me as pheebs on here, but as it's not my real name, no!
Wheelz1992-Haha, my english setting and dialogue! I'm glad you like it! I hope you like It Could Be Him too!

Mara-wow! That must have taken ages! I hope it was worth it, I find nothing worse than reading a rubbish book I've dedicated hours too!
Mel-I know! She has suffered so much but I'm just so cruel! Haha! I love dramatic cliffhangers, I get more comments because people are angry at me for using them!
Cheyenne-haha, witty or just mean? Mm, 30 chapters, I think more people are booing me for it being so long!
Ms T-haha, yeah, I like to go back and forth with making you think! Haha, ahh yeah, that line is pretty cute! I come up with this stuff very easily, honestly!T here's nothing extremely inventive I don't think!
Lala-bless you! You are so sweet wanting the next chapter up! I'm sorry it's taken so long, but I have been working all week and have had honestly no time for anything! Accept my apologies and this chapter can be dedicated to you! Hope it's worth the wait! :D
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‘It’s going to be ok, Tor.’ Ruby says sitting down next to me in the bathroom, as she affectionately rubs my back as I cry my heart out into a nearby towel.

‘I’M PREGNANT, RUBY!’ I call out in choked tears. ‘PREGNANT!’

She nods, knowing I’m in an unstable way and brings me close to her chest and holds me close as I sob on her shoulder ‘Why me? WHY ME, RUBY?’

Ruby doesn’t respond and I glance down at the wretched tests and say ‘This can’t be happening, Ruby. This just…can’t happen. Not to Caesar and me.’

‘It’s ok, Tor.’

‘No it’s not, Ruby! Don’t you understand that?’ But no one understands apart from me. I stand up angrily and say storming down the stairs ‘I’m going to the doctors.’

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ She calls out.

‘No.’

So I wait in open surgery for a spare appointment and one comes up pretty quickly, thank goodness. I don’t like the doctors; I get the white coat syndrome and feel all flustered and uneasy. I walk into the room and see a plump, sweet looking doctor at her computer ‘Hell Miss Rainford, please sit down, I’m Dr Morrison, and how can I help you?’

I sit down in the chair and fidget my fingers as I say ‘Um, I think I might be pregnant.’

‘Ok, well let’s do a blood test just to make sure.’

She takes me next door to the nurse and she takes the blood. I’m immune to any physical pain now; the emotional pain is so much harder to cure.

I go back to Dr Morrison and she asks me a variety of questions, about when I last had sex, when my period is, if I’m healthy, any symptoms or changes in my body that have happened etc. I answer all of these monosyllabically and Dr Morrison smiles ‘Ok, well I think it’s safe to say you are pregnant, but when the blood results come back in a day or so, we can check your hormones and health. Now I’m going to prescribe some folic acid tablets for you to take to help the baby develop, ok?’

I look up at Dr Morrison and feel like crying. ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’ I confess to her.

‘It’s always scary when you find out, but you will be ok, there are so many people here who can help you, you will never be alone. Now according to your last period, the baby should be due around the 23rd September this year.’

I burst into tears and say ‘I can’t be a mum now. I’ll only be twenty if I have it; I’m too young!’

Dr Morrison takes my hand and rubs it gently and says ‘Of course you can, but you can always have an abortion if you are definitely sure you don’t want it.’

I pause for a second to think and sigh ‘No, I couldn’t have an abortion, that’s not an option. It’s just… it’s so…surreal, all of this. I’m not meant to be pregnant, not now anyway. This is all a huge unplanned mistake; my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex and I ran away from him to think and now I find out I’m pregnant with his baby, oh and to top it all off he doesn’t want children. Ever. I was going to forgive him as well, so we would be back to the way we were, I just needed some breathing space to think, you know. We used to be so happy and I wanted us to go back to that, and well this just complicates everything. It’s another sign.’

She nods sympathetically and says unhelpfully ‘Well you just think on it all. Now, let’s book your future appointments with our ob/gyn and nurse who will look after you all the way until the baby is born, ok? ’

‘But I don’t live around here though, well not all the time, you see I’m at uni at the moment.’

‘Well you could come back here each time or we’ll call your uni’s doctors to book you in.’

And then it hit me as I think about uni and my course ‘Oh my God! I didn’t even realise this; I’m not going to be able to finish going to uni now, am I!’ I think about all my hard work, the long nights I spent in, the weekends I spent revising, the extra lessons I took to help my grades and it all has come to nothing because of one night of heated sex. I bang my head against my hands and sigh ‘I’m going to have to leave uni, aren’t I?’ I mope through blurry tears.

Dr Morrison smiles and that’s a very likely yes in my opinion. There’s no way I could manage both, even for me who loves to organise things, that would be a step too far. She hands me all the future dates and I take my prescription out of the doctor’s surgery and feel like crying.

It’s all confirmed now.

I am pregnant and I’m going to have a baby in this September.

When I arrive back home, Ruby looks at me supportively and gives me a small smile ‘You ok?’

I shake my head and sigh ‘What am I going to do?’

‘You’re going to be an amazing mum with all the support in the world, ok?’ She reassures me, but the message doesn’t sink in. It’s never going to sink in because I don’t want it to sink in. I want this all to be a funny dream and I’ll wake up again and none of this would have happened. Caesar and I would be happy and in love and we would be fine.

But that’s the difference between dreams and realities.

‘I’m going to bed, Ruby. Don’t wake me up and don’t tell anyone.’ I say as I climb the stairs.

As I strip down to my underwear and pull a top and a pair of shorts on, I grab my phone and see several missed calls and messages, mostly from Caesar.

I click through to my voicemail and feel myself well up as I hear his message. My heart beats faster just hearing his voice and his stupid jokes make me grin broadly. The way he talks so positively about us makes me literally want to curl up in a ball and die with the thought of being without Caesar ‘Hey baby, I know you’re probably still upset and angry at me and I don’t blame you, I was a complete twat, ok? I know I screwed everything up, but please give me a chance, let’s talk some more, Chick? I am not ready to let what we have go to pieces because of me. You know I’m in love with you, Chick and would do anything for you to prove to you how much you mean to me. If you want banners, I’ll make banners, if you want me to jump off a cliff, I’ll do so, baby. Heck, I’ll let a pigeon shit on me if that makes you happy and will make you smile again. I miss your smile, baby, your true smile; the smile I fell for all those months ago, but has been hiding because of my stupid past coming back up to haunt me. Please tell me where you are so we can talk some more. I know you hate me right now and I don’t blame you at all for not forgiving me, but I want us to work, we are good together, you know that, before everything else came to light, when it was just me and you, we were great, baby, we were The Chicken Caesar Salad and I know we can get that back if we tried. Ok, I’m waffling now, but please call me and let me know you’re ok. I will always love you. Bye Chick.’

I love him so, so much and miss him deeply; but at the end of his message I make the heartbreaking decision to end things with Caesar.

It literally kills me to have to let him go, but I have to. He needs to be free and away from drama and that’s all I bring, especially with a baby on the way. All of these things in the past few months have been signs to let him go and now that I’m pregnant, it’s the final straw. It’s the last twist of fate urging me to let my tousled haired honey go.

When you love someone so much, you have to put their best interests at heart, even if Caesar does love me and won't understand my decision, we won’t work out, not with a baby and everything else that has happened recently-it’s impossible and I can’t hold him back in his life. It’s not fair. We’re on unsteady grounds as it is and that is now way to build a relationship up again when I have to consider another life besides my own.

I want him to be happy without me and I know and hope he will be.

I just need to tell him it’s over now, even if my heart doesn’t agree with my head.

I try to think about him cheating on me, their kiss together, him loving Abbie, him lying to me, and all of the things he does that annoy me, little irritating things that piss me off, but as much as I try and make myself hate Caesar, I can’t and I never will. It’s impossible for me to hate him, yet I have to let him go, for his sake, not for mine.

CAESAR’S P.O.V

Ok, it’s Friday now and no one is helping me find out where Tori is. I give up; I’m going to have to face Emily again and beg her to help me. She can hurt me if she wants, but I am NOT giving up on finding my girlfriend.

I go around early to her flat with sleep deprived eyes and bang the door down until Emily opens up in her jogging bottoms and hoodie.

‘What do you want?’ She whines with closed eyes. She slowly opens them and glares at me ‘Oh. Well what do you want then?’

‘You know what I want, I want to know where the hell my girlfriend is and you know, Emily.’

Emily nods and says ‘She doesn’t want to see you.’

‘I gathered that on Sunday, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to try and see her. We need to talk and I am not letting us go this lightly. Do you not understand how upset I am that I don’t know where she is? I am dying inside, Emily. I just want Tori back and no one wants to help me.’ I feel like I might cry and I don’t cry easily. I’m a man and don’t let my feelings get the better of me, but losing Tori is so tear-worthy that I’m crying myself to sleep every night she has not been with me.

‘I am begging you, Emily, please tell me where Tori is.’ I ask firmly.

Emily looks like she is about to crack then stands up straight and says ‘No, she wants time alone, Caesar, why can’t you give her that?’

‘BECAUSE I NEED TO SEE HER!’

Emily raises an eyebrow and says cockily ‘After cheating on her, I think you should let her decide what she wants to do Anyway, I only heard from her on Monday, so she could be somewhere else.’

‘Where does she live?’ I probe.

‘I am not telling you. I promised her, Caesar.’

‘Ok, don’t tell me, but I’d like to come in and get something from her room.’

Emily shakes her head and says ‘No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

I look at her and say ‘Emily, I am coming in whether you like it or not.’

‘That’s breaking in,’ she points out.

I shrug ‘Maybe, but at the moment, I don’t give a damn if I kill someone to find out where Tori is.’

Emily huffs and shakes her head ‘Right, I’m not going to tell you where she is, but you can search the place for any hints, ok?’

I grin broadly and kiss her cheek so hard she stumbles backwards ‘THANK YOU!’ I rush into their flat and into Tori’s bedroom and try and find her filo-fax she keeps everything in.

I sit searching through her box of treasures when I come across it. I open the filo-fax carefully, looking at every page, seeing there’s a new picture of us in there from when we were at the park one time, when I come to the details part and bingo-there it is; her current full address. I stand up quickly and leave her flat calling out to Emily ‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t you dare tell her I let you in here, ok?’ Emily calls out.

‘I won’t. Thank you.’ I say waving goodbye.

I get on my motor bike and immediately start to head to Tori’s house with her filo-fax in my bag where I know she’ll be.

VICTORIA’S P.O.V

Today is Friday and I’m in a low mood again, like every other day this week, thinking about the prospect of ending things with Caesar is keeping me in a low mood, along with the unexpected pregnancy too. My parents are wondering what is wrong with me, but Ruby hasn’t let on, thank goodness. We haven’t spoken much since Monday as I’ve been a recluse in my old bedroom.

I lie in my bed with my hands instinctively roaming over my abdomen and I sigh. I look down to see if anything is visible. But no, nothing, it's still very early on so I’m not surprised. Everything will get so much more complicated as I get bigger and bigger and start having a bump.

Why now? Why is my timing so crap?

I want to be back at uni with Emily. I want her love and girly reassurance that I’ll be ok; I’ll be great in fact. She would tell me I would be a good mum, but she’s not here and telling her I’m pregnant cannot be done over the phone and I don't want to go back any time soon. I sigh and toss on my side as I look out onto the nearby fields.

There’s a knock at my door and I sigh ‘No, go away.’

But regardless, Ryan walks in looking very weird in a terry towelling dressing gown, bless him. ‘Hey Torrance, you ok? Everyone’s a little worried about you.’

‘I’m fine.’ I respond unconvincingly.

Ryan sits on the edge of my bed and moves my flyaway stray bits of hair out of my eyes so he can see me and smiles ‘What’s up? Come on, tell your favourite brother.’ He grins. Ryan and Andy were always closest when they were younger, but now Ryan and I see each other more often and we’ve become the same way.

‘Nothings up.’ I answer back.

‘Rubes is worried about you.’ He says stroking my cheek.

‘Has she said anything?’ I ask in a voice just above a whisper.

‘No, why? Should she have?’

I shake my head.

‘I think you should get up and get some fresh air. I’m taking the day off work today, so Ruby and I can make you feel a bit happier. I know its hard falling out with your guy, but you’ll get over it.’ If only my problem was that simple. ‘Come on, get up lazy arse and let’s go.’

I smile ‘Caesar calls me that sometimes.’

‘What’s this Caesar like then?’ Ryan asks questioningly.

I pause and think, before giving a simple answer ‘Complicated yet perfect, that sums him right up. What’s the time?’

‘Gone 10am, not like you, Miss Early Bird. Why are you so tired?’

I shrug and get up, dragging my body downstairs.

My mum and dad have already left and it’s just Ryan, Ruby and me. Ruby kisses my head as I sit down at the table and says ‘What can I make you, Torrance? I make amazing pancakes.’

Caesar makes amazing pancakes as well, but I can’t think like that anymore. I hit my head against the table and sigh ‘Why me? Why now? Why us?’

‘What?’ Ryan asks.

I then realise I just said all that aloud. I ignore Ryan and walk over to the ironed pile of clothes and changes into my nice boyfriend cut jeans, not that I’ll be fitting into them any longer. I take my top off as Ryan groans at me ‘Torrance, cover up!’

I sling my T-shirt on and grey cardigan and poke my tongue out ‘I had a bra on; anyway, it’s not like you’ve not seen a pair before.’ I look insinuatingly at Ruby and Ruby laughs ‘What are you saying?! You have a dirty mind, Torrance!’

I raise my eyebrow and grin ‘Right, I’m going to go upstairs again to…’

‘Sleep? Seriously Torrance, are you unwell or something? It’s not natural to be this sleepy and lazy’

‘Just give it a rest, Ryan.’ I say waving my hand at him as I switch the kettle on.

The door bell goes and Ryan goes to answer it seeing as Ruby and I don't make an effort to move.

‘Torrance, someone’s here for you.’ I turn around and peep out expecting to see an old school friend or the postman, but instead it’s Caesar, looking every bit the romantic hero. He runs his hands through his hair anxiously and gives me a wary smile as he says ‘Hey Chick, can we talk?’
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I know I am so mean with the cliffhanger! Please comment! I hope you liked! :D