When Sparks Fly...Chapter 28

Hello everyone, sorry for the wait, I have just been so busy recently and as much as I really want to post chapters quicker, I do have a life to lead. I am in year13 so am extremely busy and I have been ill this week with a cold and it was my friends 18th too. If I could speed my chapters up, I would as I do realise the story has been in progress for about two months now, so I am trying my best! This chapter is even extra long coming in at just under 4000 words so I hope it makes up for the wait!

Phoebe:/-yes, it is a horrible situation, very very bad. I know, poor Tor! Do you think Abbie still loves him then?! Ahh, sad news about your library, I get a little lightheaded in libraries at the possibility of being able to take 8 books out at a time! Lol! Mm, I’m sure you could occupy your time with your lovely beau!
Ciriat-oh I know, I felt that yesterday when I haven’t seen my friend for like four months and was so happy to see her! I missed her so much but it was so nice and it just felt comfortable again, you can only get that with certain people I think, so yes, Caesar has very lovely friends who adore him!
AMB-oh I know! Hayden is a cool guy, Emily and Hayden are amazing together! Hayden is a very good friend to Tor and I love that he loves her as much as Emily does. Same!

Nexi-I love Abbie! She is such a nice, funny character who matches Caesar I think. I’d say they’re pretty similar, very feisty and very sweet.
Nami-oh I’m sorry you were cheated on. Must be devastating, that’s why I lack emotional trust with a lot of people, only a few people I will tell most things too because trust is so precious and can be damaged so easily. It’s hard because it’s a clear betrayal, so Tor has to work out what she’s going to do.
Jal67-yes it’s very sweet the way he talks about her! No, he didn’t, he just wanted to see if Abbie did. Caesar is very much in love with Tor.
Chelsea-yes, it’s a very sad situation they’re all in. Poor Tor crying her heart out and Caesar caught up by kissing Abbie but being completely in love with Tor! Awkward or what!

Everyone else, bless you! You all said how sad and upset you are for them all. It’s very sad, and I’m glad you’re all kind enough to comment and your comments about my writing are so wonderful to read, so thanks! Also any ideas you have would be really welcome, as I'm dawdling between ideas so any help is loved! Make sure you've read the previous chapter as well and please comment as the comments go up and down so quickly!
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‘Morning Tori, how are you feeling?’ Emily asks as she sits down on the edge of my bed in what looks likes Hayden’s jumper. Oh I miss doing that with Caesar, wearing his day old clothes with his warm, woody smell.

I sit up and pull the cover close to my chest giving no response; all the memories flood back to me in one swift movement of what happened yesterday, even though I wish it had never happened. I wish Caesar hadn’t betrayed me like that-but he did and it’s painful to remember.

‘Hey gorgeous, I made you hot chocolate,’ Hayden says to me. He hands me the drink and kisses my forehead as if it will help me. He sits down next to Em and wraps his arm around her waist comfortingly and I feel like crying.

I start to sniffle and Emily clasps my hand and gives it a squeeze ‘Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?’ She asks sincerely.

Oh, now I realise they don’t know. I must have fallen asleep on Hayden yesterday afternoon.

‘So…?’

‘I never should have gone, but my gut told me to and look what I saw…’

‘What did you actually see?’ She asks cautiously.

I look away as I say quietly ‘Them kissing each other passionately, her moving onto his lap, his arms travelling all over her body; how dare she steal my boyfriend from me.’ I shake my head then add ‘I can’t believe he kissed her though, he started kissing her, Em and he didn’t even stop it. I know he planned to kiss her, that’s why he didn’t want me to turn up, he didn’t want me to see.’

Emily nods and says ‘I can’t believe he would do that intentionally though, Tor, he completely adores you.’

‘He loves her too.’

‘But they’re over, aren’t they?’

‘Or are they?’ I challenge.

Emily puzzles her face and asks ‘When are you going to see him?’

‘Never.’

‘You need to, Tor,’

I shrug and sigh ‘I am so angry at him, Emily, if I see him I will throttle him. I am not going to lie, he was lucky he didn’t get punched yesterday for doing that. See, I wouldn’t mind as much if it was some stupid drunken kiss with someone he didn’t know, but he was completely sober and has feelings for her, Em, they go back along way. They’ve got something I can never have and that’s always going to be with him.’

‘Which is?’

I sigh ‘I can’t say, but he kissed his ex who he was in love with.’

‘But he loves you now.’

‘Not enough to stop him kissing his ex though.’ I say regretfully.

‘So what does this mean then? Do you want me to hit him senseless and Hayden to run him over?’

Emily manages to bring a smile to my face and Hayden laughs ‘Why have I got a murderous girlfriend?’

I smile ‘I love you, Em.’

Emily smiles ‘I love you too, babe. What are you going to do then?’

‘I don’t know.’

We then all see my phone vibrating before Caesar’s song You Give Me Something by James Morrison starts to play-that song is so true to us it's ridiculous, it's like James Morrison met me and Caesar and wrote it for us. I watch it go through to voicemail and then listen to his message ‘Hey Chick, when are you free today so I can see you? I’ve missed you so call me back. I love you lots, big kisses.’

A tear trickles down my cheek and my bottom lip starts to tremble. ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to see him without breaking down.’

‘You will, Tor, you’re a strong person and this isn’t going to knock you down.’ Emily always knows the right things to say.

‘You’re right. Can I wear your lucky grey jumper please?’

‘Sure,’ Emily then runs out of my room and Hayden ruffles my hair like he always does and says ‘I love you, Tor.’

Why can’t I have a boyfriend like Hayden? It’s always the good guys that are taken. He wouldn’t cheat on Emily. I never thought Caesar would cheat on me though. ‘I love you too, Hayden. Sorry about your T-shirt last night.’

Hayden laughs ‘Yeah, blimey Tor, I didn’t need that shower with your sprinkling of tears, did I?’ He teases.

I laugh and give Hayden a hug ‘Thanks Hayden.’

I then go and get ready and changed to see Caesar. I slip my slouchy jeans on and my electric blue shoes along with my slouchy grey beret.

‘Are you sure you’re going to be ok?’ She asks.

I shake my head ‘No, but I have to see him or I never will. I need to hear what he has to say.’

‘Ok, we’ll be here for you.’ Emily reassures me.

‘I know.’

*

I knock on Caesar’s door three times then instantly regret coming here. What am I doing here? What is he going to say? Will he hate me for watching him? Does he know I was spying on him? Will he admit it? I don’t want him to. I want to have dreamed it all, but it happened.

Then he opens the door and tears fill my eyes, oh God I can’t do this. Be strong Victoria.

Caesar shifts from leg to leg and runs his hands through his hair like he always does when he’s anxious ‘Hey baby, how are you?’ He asks coming closer to me. I take a step back and nod.

I can’t have his lips on me after what I saw yesterday.

Caesar looks uncomfortably at me and asks ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Um, water please.’

He nods and affectionately rubs my back as I walk through to the kitchen dining room.

Why did he do it? Why did he cheat on me? I can’t shift what happened yesterday. I want to bloody kill him but I can’t for a variety of legal reasons let alone emotional ones.

I sit on the sofa in the kitchen watching Caesar as he starts to pour me some cool water into a glass.

‘You ok, Chick? You look a little, I don’t know, drained?’ Caesar asks from the kitchen.

I nod and wait for Caesar to sit down. He hands me my drink and kisses my forehead then strokes my face like he always does. He tucks his legs under his body and smiles at me.

‘You said you wanted to see me,’ I begin.

‘Um, yes.’

I stare at him and say ‘Go on then.’

‘Well it was about yesterday…’

I bite my lip and take my coat off. ‘Yes?’

Caesar leans back and says ‘Well I saw Abbie,’

I nod ‘Ok.’

‘And, it was good. Well we talked everything through and she helped me a lot in understanding what happened and how it wasn’t my fault.’

‘I told you that.’ I point out.

Caesar nods ‘I know you did, Chick, Abbie only made it clearer you know since she was involved.’

‘Did she?’ I say sarcastically.

He nods ‘Um, yes.’

‘What did you do then? Sit down and talk over a meal? Walk around? Did she want to see you?’

Caesar takes in all my questions and attempts to move closer to me, but sees that it’s not going to happen. ‘Well, she didn’t want to talk to me at first, she was really angry that I had come, which is understandable, then we talked a lot more which really helped me appreciate what she went through.’

‘What did you talk about?’

‘A lot of things, she told me about the miscarriage, she told me her little dreams about what she thought the baby would have looked like. I even managed to catch up with some old friends too. I never knew how much I missed them until seeing them again.’

I nod and look carefully at Caesar ‘Anything else happen then?’

I can see Caesar’s brain thinking whether or not to tell me when I can’t stop myself from blurting out ‘What else happened there?’

‘Nothing, Chick.’ He defends. Fatal mistake.

‘Are you sure?’ I question.

Don’t lie to me Caesar, don’t you dare lie, I mentally beg him.

‘What’s wrong? Something’s up.’ Caesar says suspectingly.

‘Would you like to tell me what?’

‘Chick? What’s wrong?’

I end up standing up and shake my head furiously ‘Start telling me the truth, Caesar. What else happened?’

‘I’ve told you the truth!’ He says standing up, towering over my petite body. I’ve forgotten how tall he was when he stands up straight.

‘You’re lying to me!’ I tell him angrily.

‘What the hell do you mean?’ He asks loudly.

‘I SAW YOU, CAESAR. YOU’RE LYING TO ME!’ I yell out.

Caesar stops immediately and looks over at me ‘You what? You…’

Tears are spilling down my face and I scream back ‘I SAW YOU, CAESAR! I SAW YOU, SO STOP LYING TO ME!’

Caesar is unable to speak so paces around the room before coming over to me and standing up close next to me, as he asks ‘What did you see?’

My heart sinks as I say ‘You know what I saw, I saw you kissing Abbie.’

Caesar’s hand flies up to his mouth and he turns away from me so he can rest against the breakfast bar and I watch him speechless as what I just said sinks in.

‘You were there.’ He says as a statement.

I nod ‘Yes and do you know what, at first I felt so horribly guilty at watching you and her talk through your past. I felt awful as nothing was happening and then you started kissing her and I knew my gut instinct was right. Emily and Hayden thought I was being crazily paranoid, but I was right all along. All my doubts Caesar were true, I knew you still loved her and I knew deep down that was going to happen.’ I shake my head and sit down as I feel a little faint.

‘I cannot believe I am hearing this.’ He says.

‘What can’t you believe?!’

‘That you actually travelled to Cardiff in the hope of catching me out.’

‘In the hope of? You think I wanted you to cheat on me with your ex and pay for the pleasure?’ I say sarcastically. Bring it on, Caesar. I don’t think you’re going to win this battle.

‘Why did you come then?’

‘Because you were so bloody secretive about everything and I needed to see her. I wanted to see what she looked like and a part of who you were before coming here, but I can see you’re still there.’

‘What? Victoria, don’t talk bulllshit.’

‘BULLSHIT? WHAT BULLSHIT? THE BULLSHIT THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE BLOODY CHEEK TO GO AND KISS THE FACE OFF YOUR EX BEHIND MY BACK AND THEN NOT EVEN HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TELL ME?!’

Caesar sits down on the breakfast stool and watches me breathe deeply to catch my breath again from shouting at him.

‘I’m sorry.’

I look at him in disbelief ‘Sorry? SORRY, CAESAR? Do you think that word is like magic or something?’

‘I am though.’ He urges.

I look up at Caesar and shake my head ‘You weren’t going to tell me, Caesar. You were never going to tell me. You were going to lie to me. How could you even consider doing that?’

‘Well how could you even consider stalking me down half way across the country?’

‘Oh don’t turn it back on me, Caesar!’ I warn ‘You were the one cheating on me!’ I say through my blurred vision of tears.

‘I was not, baby, seriously, it was a mistake. I felt awful afterwards.’

‘What about during when you were shoving your tongue down her throat?’

Caesar gives me a wry look and says ‘I didn’t plan for it to happen.’

‘BUT IT DID!’

‘I know and I am so sorry it did.’

I shake my head and say ‘How could you? Honestly how could you? How would you feel if you randomly saw me kissing someone you had a close connection to? You would hate it, Caesar and that’s how I feel now. I can even bare to look at you after yesterday.’

‘But Chick, I promise you, it meant nothing.’

‘To who? Abbie?’

‘Victoria, I mean it.’

‘WELL I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!’

‘WELL MAYBE YOU DON’T WANT TO FUCKING BELIEVE ME!’

I stand up and want to leave, but Caesar blocks my way ‘Listen, you shouldn’t have been spying on me and I shouldn’t have kissed Abbie.’

I stand back then say ‘I cannot believe you, Caesar. I prayed that yesterday didn’t happen, but it did, you have no idea how hurt I am by this.’

Caesar’s jaw drops and he rolls his eyes ‘Oh my God, anything I say will mean nothing to you because you’ve already made your mind up about what happened. You haven’t even asked why it happened.’

‘I know why, you wanted to kiss her, so tell me, is she still as good as she was, did you two end up in bed together afterwards?’

‘No we did not! I kissed Abbie because I couldn’t let her cry again, I’ve caused her enough pain to last a lifetime and I know I was thoughtless, but that’s honestly the truth, it was a careless mistake which I am now paying for big time, ok? I didn’t plan for it to happen.’

‘Oh you think you’re paying for it big time now? Oh Caesar, you don’t even know how pissed off I am at you.’

‘Oh I do.’

‘Oh you think you do, don’t you? Well this won’t come as a surprise to you then, Mr I-know-it-all, will it, it’s over.’

‘WHAT?’ He says jumping up and running across the room to me.

‘It’s over. I can’t deal with you anymore, Caesar. You don’t share anything with me, you don’t trust me, you’ve cheated on me and you can’t see how hurt you’ve made me, the list goes on and on...!’ I start to walk towards the breakfast bar to collect my bag when Caesar grabs my arm and turns me back to him, only for him to be faced with his distraught, tear-stained girlfriend.

‘Baby I can see you are distraught with it, and that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to lose you because I knew you would react this way.’

I wipe my eyes and bite my bottom lip ‘You weren’t ever going to tell me, were you, Caesar?’ I say through muffles tears.

He doesn’t answer my questions as he answers ‘It meant nothing, Chick, I’m not leaving you for her, I want to be with you still, I appreciate you more now and how lucky I am to have someone like you who wants to be with me. When I was with Abbie, all I could think about was how upset you would be and how you mean so much more to me than her.’

‘BUT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO TELL ME!’ I point out.

‘Victoria, I could stand here and shout at you for not trusting me to go and see Abbie, but I’m not.’

‘BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT HAS NO COMPARISON TO WHAT YOU DID!’ I say throwing my arms up in the air.

Caesar thinks I’m about to strangle him so he restrains my arms to my sides and holds them tight

‘Let.Go.Of.Me.’ I warn.

He lets my arms go and I watch Caesar walk across the room before sitting down.

‘I’m going.’ I say, grabbing my coat.

Caesar quickly looks up then comes over to me saying ‘No baby, please don’t, we need to sort this out. I didn’t mean to kiss Abbie.’

‘It’s not just the kiss, Caesar; you were transported back emotionally to what you both had together. I don’t think I’m ever going to replace her.’

‘Chick are you mad? I love you and only you! You’re not replacing her, I don’t want you to replace her, you’re not following on from what Abbie was, you’re my girlfriend by your own right, you’re not up against anyone.’

I lean against the wall and push my hair back as I say ‘But I feel like that, Caesar! I feel that you will never ever completely be with me and will always have this lingering feeling about Abbie.’

‘THAT’S NOT TRUE!’ He yells coming over to me. ‘WHY WON’T YOU JUST BELIEVE ME THAT ABBIE AND I ARE NOTHING TO EACH OTHER ANYMORE?’

‘Because I don’t think you believe yourself as you say that.’ I say woefully looking at him.

We stay silent for about half a minute as everything sinks in and Caesar asks ‘What can I do to show you that I’m being serious, Chick? Wait, shall I show you something?’ He takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom as he flicks through his notebook beside his bed and chucks it over to me as I wait at the door ‘Turn to page 16.’

‘Why?’ I ask.

‘Just turn.’

So I do, flicking through the pages when I land on page 16 where I see a lavish way of Chick written with a heart looped at the end of the ‘k’. ‘What is this?’ I ask.

Caesar sits down in front of me and asks ‘Do you like it?’ His hands start to gently run up and down my left leg and I shrug.

‘I was planning to get it done.’ He tells me.

‘What done?’

He touches the page and says ‘This tattoo done, Chick.’

I bite my lip and say ‘Why?’

‘Because I love you. Why else?’

I shake my head and say ‘But you don’t love me, Caesar! You don’t love me! As much as I’m sure you’d like to please me and say you do, you don’t!’ I stand up and climb past Caesar but end up falling over as he drags my leg back onto the floor. I fall flat on my face and die of embarrassment as I kick my right leg away from him ‘LET GO OF ME CAESAR!’ I yell out.

But it’s no use. Caesar will not let go as he pulls my leg back to him ‘No, Chick, why the hell do you have the right to say all that when I know that’s all not true?’

‘Caesar, kissing someone else is a sure sign of lack of love to your current girlfriend.’

‘But it wasn’t planned! It wasn’t lustful or sexual…’

‘But loving. Caesar, I don’t know what the hell is going on with us, but I can’t deal with this anymore. All I’ve done for you is support you all the way, encouraging you to go back and see Abbie, to get counselling, to move on and you seem to not realise the fucking strain you have put on me by doing so! I love you, I love you so, so much, but I just don’t know if we’re meant to be together after what happened. I need to think everything over.’

‘I forgive you for spying on me, Chick.’ He tells me quickly.

‘I know you don’t, you just want me to forgive you for passionately making out with your ex.’ I tell him.

‘Please, Chick, we have so much to talk over, you can’t just end it like this, you’re not hearing me out.’

‘Well maybe I’m tired of hearing you out, Caesar, maybe I wish I didn’t have to and everything was ok, but it’s not. We are far from ok and have been for a long time and you can thank your ex for that.’

‘Don’t be mean about Abbie.’ He says angrily.

Oh no he didn’t.

‘Don’t be mean about Abbie? DON’T BE MEAN ABOUT ABBIE!’ I scream in horror.

‘Yes, it’s not her fault I decided to kiss her to make her feel better. None of this is her fault. She was horrified I had cheated on you and scolded me for not telling her in the first place.’

‘So you kept me a secret then! Do I mean anything to you, Caesar?’

‘Of course you do! God baby, I’d die for you if I had to.’ He pleads me.

My heart breaks as I hear this; he’d die for me if he had to and it strikes such a chord because he probably would. I feel my knees buckle under me and I start to properly cry.

I so don’t want to lose Caesar, but I don’t know if we could ever get back to the way we were.

‘I’m leaving.’ I say quickly.

‘No you are not! You can’t just leave like this. It’s unfair.’

‘I have to, Caesar.’ I say as my eyes start to overflow with my all too familiar tears.

Caesar takes me by the waist and I fall limp in his arms. I completely lose myself to Caesar as he slouches down to the floor with me looped in his arms as I wail at how much pain I’m in emotionally.

He starts to kiss the nape of my neck delicately and soothingly runs his hands up my thigh up to the lace of my knickers. A low moan escapes my lips and I sigh.

‘I love you,’ He whispers into my ear and slowly starts to nibble at my earlobe. Oh no…

Caesar picks me up and takes me back through to his bedroom and places me on his bed. He crawls on top of me and starts to kiss his way down my body, undoing a button at a time with his eager fingers, freeing my jeans and jumper from my body, revealing my quivering body underneath. He spends no time unchanging himself and is soon down to his full, bare glory.

Caesar nibbles his way around my body, causing my back to arch and shiver. ‘I love you.’ He says as he trails down my body past my belly button where one hand plays with my belly bar, the other slips under my back and arches me up in the air as within seconds he’s thrusting inside me.

Hard, fast and vigorously he makes love to me, as rough as we have ever been, easing the emotional pain with pure physical pain, he bites down hard at the base of my neck knowing this is what I need. A need for release…

Deeper and harder, harder and deeper Caesar goes as he thinks this is working; moulding us into one as we can fight everything together. Like us against the world.

Caesar keeps going, not stopping for a moment and my nails start to dig into his toned back as my legs hook around his waist to control myself, and pulling him closer to me as I feel I’m on the brink of a jaw dropping orgasm.

And he doesn’t fail me. He delivers what he set out to do.

Our breathing is ragged and broken, but not as much as my heart. He collapses his body on top of me and I’m comforted by the heaviness of his weight, the hairiness of his legs, the tautness of his chest and the hardness of his manhood fully pressed up against me. This is my Caesar. The Caesar I’m used to and haven’t had in so long.

I cling onto Caesar and lose my hands in his tousled hair and scrunch handfuls of the luscious locks in my hands.

He’s mine. Caesar’s mine.

If not forever, just for now, he is mine.

Caesar kisses my neck as he knows I’m a sucker for neck kisses. He sensually sculpts his right hand up my body to my hair, where he whispers sweet nothings into my wavy, damp mess.

‘We’ll be ok, baby, I promise you, and we will do everything and anything to get over this.’ He murmurs to me.

I turn away from Caesar and look out of the window as he wraps one arm around my waist to reassure me of everything we've just done and that everything between us will be ok.

It's easier said than done...
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