When She Cries 19

Hey, y'all! sorry for the long wait... :|

Nicole, Millie, Maisie P, Ketty- Nothing left to say but thank you! I'm really, really thankful for the support... :)

Dance Inside- I didn't even explain it that much... But, don't worry, I promise you'll understand everything in the end. And you're absolutely, very much welcome! I do love replying to my readers' comments! :)

Tiff- Ooooh, sorry if I seem to "leave you hanging"... I swear I didn't mean to do that--- much. :P But, thanks a lot! My email ad's "heavenhyacinth009@yahoo.com"... That's not the real one though.. But, I check it regularly so anything off-record you might wanna tell me, feel free to do so! :) (that goes for everyone too..)

Katy- Awwww! Katy!!! Thank you!!! ^_^ And thanks to your mate too, whoever he/she is! Oh, this is so exciting! I really, really look forward to reading your work! Please don't make me and your future fans wait that long... :D

Mini- Lol, sorry for making you wait... again... :P Uhm, I'm really sorry but, I can't say what'll happen to Clarisse... But, you'll find that out soon.. Very soon... ;)

Brad- Oh... Haha, nah, Zane is just, as Nicole said, "a baby"... He loves Zack more than anyone so that's why he's acting like that... :P Awwww, you still commented even if it's become more difficult for you? Thank you!! ^_^ Hope your internet gets fixed soon! :)

Lilian Yes- Haha, thanks! Yeah, Zack and Holly/Clarisse making up is definitely on the horizon (Yep, that was a spoiler, people! :P) but HOW they make up is the secret... :)

Jenni- Oh!!!! So you're Jenshes! I can see why Erika was saying sorry for the "typo" although I had no idea what the typo was---- or if there was even one.. XD Hey, thanks a lot for "recruiting" *wink* *wink* and thanks to those 3-4 people Jenni recruited as well! :) Any comments, good or bad, are welcome! Y'all know my email ad now and u can always comment too.. so.. That's it..

Tina- Haha well, thanks! Glad to know u like the switching thingy.. :P I think it actually confused many of the readers.. And thanks for telling me what you think about Zane... Frankly, I think he's a lil cool with a touch of being not-cool... But, of course, I made him.. So my opinion doesn't really count.. :))

PS: If anyone would like to ask me questions about anything under the sun, don't hesitate to do so.. Thank you!
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Zane was so happy after the Mirabel-flirtation incident that he even made sandwiches for us when we got home. And we--- Jos and I--- were so happy for free food service from Zane that we let the small fact of Holly giving us Mirabel's number in the first place via a note renders Zane's pride worthless.
But, of course, we're not about to tell him that! We're not that mean to snatch away his happiness, no matter how useless it is. Especially now that he's coming at us with a plate of cheese and mushroom omelets (what happened to the sandwiches?) each.
"You should see towel-clad girls more often, Zane. The effect's good." teased Jos.
"Yeah, and the omelet's good too. Someone's love-struck." I said slyly.
Jos and I avoided looking at each other: otherwise, we'll crack up.
"So, we got the address. Pretty neat huh?" said Zane as he turned a chair around and sat on it straddle-like. "What's the plan now?"

"Well, we check it out, what else." I said, slicing a big chunk off the omelet and stuffing it fully in my mouth. "Greatgookingzane!"
"Talking while the mouth is full. Disgusting." said Jos as she turned her head on the opposite direction.
I chewed quickly then swallowed. "Aw, come on Jos. I do this in front of you all the time."
"Yeah, and I always tell you to stop it every time you do that."
I shrugged. "I'm a guy, what can I say?"
"Well, I hope you have a good plan then, "guy"." scoffed Jos as cheese dripped down my shirt when I put the overstuffed fork to my mouth.
"What's to plan? We have the address, going there is the only thing left. Damn, pass me the table napkin, Zane." I hurriedly wiped the cheese off my shirt.
"Oh yeah? What about the things you're going to ask when we're actually there? Or what would you do when Holly doesn't want to see you? Or what if it's actually a false address and it's a different Holly after all?"
"We'll find out once we get there. THEN I'll know what to do. So stop fretting, Jos." I waved the matter aside.

"Look at you, you sound like Zane. So happy-go-lucky."
"You say it like it's a bad thing. Aren't you the one telling me to chill uncountable times before?"
"Then I take it back. I don't want you to act like Zane. He's a jerk. He's more than a jerk."
"Oh wow, thanks for the tactfulness, Jos. I appreciate you talking as if I'm not here." Butt in Zane. Jos looked at him for a moment then opened her mouth to say something smart, no doubt, but Zane overrode her. "So, when are we gonna go to Bronte Luxe? Tomorrow?" he was addressing me, although he was in a heated "glare-fight" with Jos.
I chuckled a little. What is up with these two? They never got on each other's nerves before. "Yeah, maybe tomorrow."
"I can't go tomorrow, Zack. I have a test to study for." she eyed me beadily, "And so are you."
"Yeah, but that can wait. I can study for it the next day."
"The test IS the next day."
"Oh well, good luck to me then."
She exhaled forcefully. "So let me get this straight. You're willing to sacrifice your studies for that one woman?"

"That "one woman" happens to be the one I love."
"I never thought I'd see the day Zachary Minsk will be deluded. By. One. Woman."
"Deluded how exactly, Jocelyn?" my voice was calm, my demeanor was calm, and even my stance was never calmer. But, Jos widened her eyes at me nevertheless.
She scoffed. "Jocelyn huh."
"Yep. As that's your name."
No one spoke seemed to speak first (even Zane) and the silence stretched on for what felt like forever.
Jos caved in first. She chuckled lightly while prodding her leftover omelet with her fork. "I can see I've overstayed my welcome. No, Zack, listen." she cut me off as I was about to cut HER off. "I understand that we're all pretty stressed out right now and we all need our beauty sleep. But, please. I'm begging you: Don't sacrifice your studies for Holly. Do you think she'll like it? Just imagine what she would have told you if she's here right now."
I smiled at my own imagination. I imagined Holly sitting there right across from me telling me she wanna go to that and this place and she'll be waiting impatiently for me to finish studying. But certainly not egging me to study more.
"Yeah, I can see what you mean."

"So, we're clear then? No rescue mission tilll the exams are over?"
Jos has entered her "say-yes-or-else-I-won't-shut-up" mode so what else could I do to make an easy exit but to agree?
"Yeah, ok, promise I won't slack off, Jos. Now go already." I said, leaning back in my chair, suddenly feeling tired.
She narrowed her eyes at me and then turned that icy glare to Zane. "Make sure he doesn't sneak out, Zane, ok? Knowing your brother, he might just try something funny."
"You can count on me, captain!" Zane nodded vigorously, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of being MY guardian for once.
Jos shook her head. "I cannot believe I'd trust the idiotic one twin more than the smart one. Well, goodbye, boys."
I turned to Zane once the door was closed and we could hear Jos' car start.
"Are you really gonna lock me up here tomorrow, Zane?"
"Hell, no! Do you think I'd rather watch you study than go on our rescue mission? Think again, brother."

I smiled genuinely at him--- a first for me. "You're cool, man. Thanks."
"Hey, what are brothers for?"
We high-fived and started cleaning up. "The omelet was good. Compliments to the chef!" I joked.
Zane laughed and then mussed his hair up. "You know Holly always asked me to cook omelets for her while she was here?"
I turned away so Zane won't see my smile disintegrate right in front of him. Of course, who was I kidding? Zane likes Holly. This search and rescue mission is as much for him as it is for me. Silly Zack, letting his guard down. Tsk, tsk.
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Since Holly's disappearance, her room (which was mine in all realities, really) became off-limits. Not because it's become a girl haven now and that it'll be disgusting to sleep in, but because her very essence seem to emit from the walls, making you vulnerable to extreme emotions: e.g., crying, throwing pillows and things-that'll-shatter-and-are-most-likely-to-be-expensive-but-you-wouldn't-know-until-you've-done-it-and-when-you-do-it's-too-late. Man, that's a mouthful!
So now we're here in the living room, same set-up as if Holly's here. Me on the sofa, Zane on the floor. The only thing missing is Holly in her room.
"Lights out, Zane." I said as I hopped onto the sofa. Zane was sitting cross-legged, back hunched and watching--- no, staring at is more like it--- TV with a glazed expression. "Didn't you hear me, Zane? I said lights out."

"You know Holly used to watch 'The Price is Right' every morning? She would sometimes get so worked up that when the contestant gets the right answer, she'll cheer with the crowd. Or if the contestant gets it wrong, she'll shout at Jim, telling him he sucks... like it was Jim's fault the contestant lost. You know how refreshing it is to watch her like that?"
I turned over to my right side, facing Zane's head and smiled. "Yeah, I can imagine."
Silence again as he continued to watch. "Hey, you know you're at your best when you have a competitor?"
I furrowed my brow as I digested what he just said. "What?" I asked, as I couldn't glean any sense from it anyway.
"Nothing. Come on, go to sleep. You still have to study tomorrow, remember?" Zane said with a hint of his usual humor.
I don't know why, but my silly brother kinda catches me off guard sometimes. He's not a whacko in the head is he?
I giggled to myself. Of course, would I be surprised if he actually IS a nutcase? Nope, I don't think so.

Clarisse's POV

It's 3 am and I still can't sleep! What is wrong with me? When I was in Zack's apartment, I never had any problem of going to sleep... and that was with all the bedbugs, noises, and broken air-conditioning! Now in the most comfortable of beds and luxurious pillows and very relaxing (and I mean quiet) ambiance, I keep tossing and turning till the wee hours of morning. Maybe that is why my migraine keeps getting worse to the point that I have to hurl in the toilet after getting up.
Of course, it might also be because of the "advanced stage-ness" of my "medulloblastoma". Or cancer in the brain stem.
Ok, if I can't sleep, I might as well do something.
I sat up and tried sensing if my migraine will permit me to get out of bed. It almost does not come off now, my migraine. It's as if day in and day out, it's just there. At times, it's tolerable, at times, it reduces me to nothingness as I try in vain to detach myself from the pain. How cool would it be to get out of your body when pain starts? It's like you're looking at someone who looks like you struggle with the pain. You can see her suffering but you can't feel the thing that makes her suffer.
Whoa-kay, stop thinking about pain. YOUR own will just get worse.
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It's dark all over the house as I tiptoed across to the kitchen. Mother never lets me eat chocolate or ice cream or any of the "fattening stuff" then and she's not gonna start now. So what better way to have revenge but to eat them to my heart's content here in the same place as where she is right now?
I opened the fridge and was disappointed in what I saw. No ice creams, no pies, no cakes, no "fattening stuff". None whatsoever. Well, there's sugar-free pudding in there, and fat-free yogurt.
I frowned in disgust as I closed the door of the fridge. So she got here before me then. Uh-huh. Figures.
I tiptoed again as I made my way up to my bedroom. But someone talking in hushed tones made me stop. I went Agent 007 as I carefully put my ear against each door in the long, very long corridor. And I stopped at my Mother's room.
I almost laughed aloud as I realized that of course, she'll be up at this hour, contacting every fashion agent or modeling agency across the world to make her more insanely rich. Tsch, whatever.

I was about to go back but hearing my name made me halt. Then, against my better judgment, I leaned against the door, pressing my ear in for me to hear her conversation with Mr. /Mrs. X.
"Yes, she's doing alright, Simon." Oh, it's just Simon, the press talker or whatever. Well, his sole purpose is to talk to the media and such when my Mother doesn't feel like it or if she thinks it's not worth her while. "She actually dyed her hair brown. Can you believe it? Now she looks more like a girl living in the slums of some third world country what with her ruddy hair, paler than death skin and skeleton-like appearance than an heiress to her fashion mogul mother."
I felt a nerve twitch and was surprised when I saw my hand clutch the doorknob as if on its own because all I can think of that time was 'Woman! You are so pissing me off!'
"Yes, she's still against treatment. I thought letting her go for a couple of months in the outside world would let her see how fortunate she is and would deftly convince her to live. 2 months I watched from afar, as that filthy boy lived with her, but did I get anything in return? No. She's still as stubborn as ever."

I felt light-headed as I processed what she just said.
"The worst part is I think she even fell in love with that boy! No, Clarisse is my daughter. No daughter of Lillien Lane gets attached to some mediocre college student who has to sweat blood to live."
Breathe, Clarisse. Breathe. Slowly... in and out, in and out... Yes, that's it...
"I know why she's rebelling though. Because of course, when all's said and done, she IS a teenager with a lot of angst and a completely different way of looking at the world. And I know she'll mature soon enough if she'll just say yes to living!"
This is it. I cannot take it anymore. I walked back to my room, tiptoeing be damned as I slammed my door shut.
I pressed myself to the wall and tried to keep myself from losing it when there was a knock to my door.

"Clarisse? Are you alright?" it was she. Lillien.
I swallowed a couple of times, hoping my voice will not shake as I said, "Yes. I'm sleepy, please get out."
"Is it your head again? Or your hearing? Tell me, Clarisse. I'll call Dr. Greene immediately." she insisted. I saw the doorknob rattle and knew she was trying to get in. Thank God, I locked it.
"Damn it, Mother! I said I'm fine!" I yelled.
Silence on the other side, as I knew my words hit her like a jaded dagger. "I will not tolerate that kind of language while I'm here, young lady!"

Oh yeah? She's the one to talk. She just lied to me with the most important moments of my life! "Then leave! Go to Paris or Venice or somewhere I can't see you!"
I slid down the wall as my tears slid down my face. My mother, my own mother lied to me! She knew all along where I went, my plans and everything about my life and she didn't even bother to tell me! I thought I was being independent for once but she just had to shatter that illusion in a snap of her hundred-dollar-manicured fingers. So I've been living in a lie after all.
Maybe Holly's in on the conspiracy. Only way I can explain how Mother knew about my escape.
I can't believe it. My best friend and mother are exactly the same ones whom I can't trust.