What to Say to a Guy You Like

There's nothing quite like the initial stages of attraction; is there? The stolen glances, the fluttery feelings, the unspoken signals that can leave your emotions skyrocketing one moment and nose diving the next. Now I'm all for the modern liberated woman, but if you're looking for ways and means to tell a guy you like him, in so many words, that's not really my forte. What I can do, however, is give you the ways and means to get a guy interested enough - and if your stars are in alignment, maybe ask you out. I'm not the kind to advise you to make the first move and display your interest for the world to see - I know, backward, old-fashioned, call it what you will - but isn't it way better to have a guy tongue-tied about asking you out? See what I mean? Men and relationships are subjects that have bewildered women from time immemorial. The subtle art of seduction, needs some serious work, as does figuring out what to say to a guy you like, so that you don't sound like a complete dork. Take a look at some possible scenarios and dating tips.

In a Text
You know, of all the inventions that the modern world has foisted on us, I think texting ranks way up there with iPods and Swiss knives (is it a knife, is it a scissor, is it a toothpick, who can tell?). Why? Simply because it gives you the ability to plan what you say, and you can come out looking super smart, even though you've erased and rewritten seventeen times before you hit send. How cool is that? And in a situation where all depends on sounding super-cool, that's a serious advantage. So, we're going to assume you're already on a text footing with this guy (very good work so far) and take it from there. Since you have each other's phone numbers, I'm also going to assume that you know each other, if only as acquaintances - maybe you study together, work together, or just meet at a hobby class. What you say need not be seeped in emotion - in fact I'll go as far as to say that don't get even a hint of emotion to begin with. Keep it light, keep it friendly and keep it oh, so casual. If it's you that's starting the texting, start off with something that's vaguely common, not so much a flirty text message - maybe a funny one liner (but please not an obvious forward), maybe something that happened at class. If you're up to it, skip a class and ask him if you could borrow some notes - perfect conversation starter! More or less the same rules apply to an email - light, casual is the mantra, chant while you type.

In Person
The difficult thing is to behave in a manner that's not contrived, in a situation that is contrived. If you find yourself frequently tongue-tied, remember that it's better to seem quiet than stupid, really. Loosen up a bit though - make casual conversation, but draw the line at seeming perky and bubbly if you're not, and vice versa; figuring out a bunch of cool things to say to a guy and feeling flustered isn't really going to help. If you do get together, it should be on the basis of what you really are, so keep it real. Do some research on books, movies or music he might like, and bring them up in conversation, that should help. If he likes you or finds you interesting, he's likely to keep it going himself, so don't seem too pushy, and as a rule end the conversation, text marathon or email spree, with a breezy 'See you later' manner. That gives him a chance to get back to you himself.

Finally I'll bend my golden rule if only a little. If contrived scenarios and flirting lines just don't do it for you, just tell him that you like him, straight and simple. It takes courage, but remember, fortune favors the brave. What's the worst that could happen? In many cases, as in the case of the fabulous first days of attraction, the chase is more exhilarating than the win - what you say may make all the difference!