What to Do When You Suspect a Loved One Joined a Cult

It can be a frightening experience if someone that you care about is considering joining a cult or is already involved in one. While your immediate reaction might be to panic or react aggressively, anything other than a carefully planned response can send your loved one running into the arms of the cult members. Thankfully, there is a method that can help them avoid making one of the biggest mistakes of their lives or open their eyes so that they can break free.

The First Stage: Suspicion

Don't jump to any conclusions about the group. You need to make careful observations and ask as many questions as possible before you can be sure that there is true cult activity. Research what you can online and ask local law enforcement or religious organizations what they might know about the group. Do this without letting on what you suspect to the loved one involved.

Avoid being confrontational. Until you have solid evidence, don't speak against the group or its leader or try to prohibit your loved one from interacting with them. Show them as much love and support as possible, and do not judge or criticize them.

True Warning Signs

The following is a list of red flags that can signify cult involvement. It may not be a good idea to stage an intervention unless you see several of these signs.

Your loved one:

-Seems to abandon individual interests or personal goals in exchange for the group agenda. They seem to stay very busy with the group and forget about activities outside of the group.

-Very quick to jump to the defense of the group or its leader when they are questioned or criticized. They justify any and all actions of the group or its leader. Calls any questioning judgmental, persecution or claims that others just don't understand.

-Gradual detachment from anyone not interested or seems to be in any way opposed to the leader or the group. They become isolated until they only associate with the group members and show a general distrust for non-group members (including family and friends).

-Sudden change in personality, especially a loss of a sense of humor or a loss of spontaneity. They begin to act just like the other group members (including body language and vocabulary).

-A change in spending habits. They seem to be investing in the group prematurely or it seems that the group is telling them how to use their money.

-A loss of ability to think for themselves. They depend on the group for answers and seem to believe everything they say above all else, without critical thought or reasoning.

-Ex-group members are seen as exiles, negative influences, or evil. Contact with them is practically forbidden.

According to cult expert Rick Ross, harmful groups will exhibit many of these signs:

-"Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability."

-Complete lack of tolerance for critical questioning.

-A lack of "meaningful financial disclosure." The use of money is never revealed in detail.

-Irrational fears regarding the outside world. Suspicions of imminent catastrophe or evil conspiracies as well as persecution.

-Legitimate media records and/or former member testify to the group or the leader's abuse.

-The group claims that former members left without cause and were wrong for leaving.

-"The group/leader is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation, no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible."

-Members struggle to become "good enough" for the group or the leader.

After Research and Observation Comes Intervention

Once evidence proves that there is a dangerous group encroaching upon a loved one, it is time to act. In Part II of this article, Intervention: What to do if a Loved One has Joined a Cult, you can learn how to stage an actual intervention that could save your loved one from being completely consumed with the cult.