What Makes a Man? - Chapter 6

The time went by amazingly slow. Looking at the clock every minute can actually make time go by exceedingly slow. Finally, after what felt like hours, the bell rang. I bolted out of class anxious to see her face again. I saw her, walking to her locker with her eyes down. She lifted her gaze and looked directly at me as I started walking towards her. Questions were popping in my head at light speed. What was I going to say to her? What would her reaction be? Will she even care? Then it clicked. Maybe I'm just a rebound.

I got to our lockers and it all started. "Hey Lex." I said smacking my lips together. "Hey Nate! Okay, so I was thinking.. Want to go to a movie or something after school to you know.. hang out?" She looked at me as if she were begging. " Uh sure, but we need to talk first." I said. She inched towards me and said, "What do you want to talk about?" Okay, I have to say something. I need to see what's actually going on here. I don't want her getting hurt. "So, what's going on between us? This is just fast. I mean, I like you, I do. But is this, you and I, going anywhere?" She looked at me like she couldn't understand a word I was saying. "Uhh, I.. like you too. I know this is fast but we could take things slow. I mean, if you want to?" I love this girl, but I have to do the right thing here. I need to see what she really wants or even if she's ready for this. "Maybe we could just wait things out. You just got out of a pretty serious relationship. I don't want to rush into things. You know how I feel about you, I love you. I'll wait until you're ready for me." I said, giving her a fake smile, then walking off to class.

**Alexena's P.O.V

"Maybe we could just wait things out. You just got out of a pretty serious relationship. I don't want to rush into things. I know you don't know this but, I love you and I will wait until you're ready for me. I can just see the little hint of anger in your eyes still, Lex." He breathed deeply as I stood there frozen. "Well, Lex, I'm going to go to class, I'll uh.. see you later." And with that, he gave a me fake smile and walked away. I knew that smile was fake because usually when he smile I get a heart-melting feeling rise inside me but this time, I got a depressed feeling that felt like I had gotten punched. Wait, hold on a minute. He just said he loves me and I said nothing. I just looked at him, how stupid am I! I rubbed the sides of my face with my hands. I wanted to scream, I love you too, but somethings was refraining me from doing so. I just fell back onto my locker and slid down. I sat there for about 10 minutes reviewing what just happened. I got up, deciding that I would skip this period. I needed to get out of there. I bolted out of the school and ran to this beautiful waterfall down the street from the school. I kicked off my moccasins and my socks and ducked under the railing to sit over the edge. I love coming here to think. That is, when I'm not at mine and Nate's "spot".

I watched the water fall as memories took over me. Memories of my mom, Jesse, my dad, everyone. I miss them all, including Jesse. I shouldn't miss him, should I? Just then I hear someone calling my name. It couldn't be. I looked back and there he was, Jesse.

I looked at him, I should leave but I need answers. I started walking towards him until I was about a meter in front of him. That was when I let all my feelings out.

"How could you do this to me! If you were loosing feelings for me, you should have just told me! But maybe you liked doing that to me, apparently you never had the balls to tell me how you felt to my face! Oh no, you felt totally fine with sucking face with some ditz and then telling me you love me?! All that time you just wanted me to give myself to you and I am so glad I didn't!" I said so loud and fast that I was nearly out of breath. The tears were streaming down my cheeks as I tried wiping them away, but it was no use.

He just looked at me, seeing if I was finished before he spoke. "Lex, I never meant to hurt you. I swear she jumped me under the bleachers while I was waiting for practice and then wouldn't let me go. I thought that once she got what she wanted she would leave me the hell alone. She's been trying to get with me for the longest time." He said so calmly. He looked me in the eyes and stepped toward me placing his hand on my cheek wiping a tear away. I shyed away from his hand and stepped away from him. " Baby, don't cry. I never meant to hurt you like this. Please forgive me." He looked at me truthfully and shook his head saying, "I love you, don't do this. I hate seeing you like this! I wanted to wait to explain because I thought you would need some time. Seeing you like this, kills me Alexena! I know you probably don't believe me but," He stopped mid sentence. He stepped closer inching towards me. He kissed me. I pushed him off me and said, "If you love me, you wouldn't be doing this!" And with that, I ran off. Running, not stopping until I was forced to.