What Is This Emotion?

Deep down, I want you to dig deep down.
Yes, deep down.
Unto where the heart breaks down into small fragments of truth.
Your eyes, those eyes filled with such pain.
That salty water you shed, oh how it dazzles me.
But yet, I don't quite understand.
Was I foolish to believe in you?
Dare I utter the words?
I'd rather not.
Silenced forever, why speak now?
Why should I let you wander through my complex thought patterns?
What a thing to ask!
Still, I let you.
I've tried masking myself,
but the mask no longer fits,
and I am exposed.
I'm tired now, I wish to sleep.
I'd wish also, not to see your face again tonight,
but I cannot control my dreams.