What if Female Sexuality Truly Equalled Male Sexuality?

Imagine the scenario: a man and a woman facing each other, naked, in a world where men and women have an identical sex drive.

So, of course, they are both standing there with an erection. Just to be clear: the man has an erect penis and the woman has an erect clitoris.

Would they mutually choose to engage in vaginal intercourse? No because intercourse does not stimulate the clitoris enough for a woman to orgasm. Even a man is unlikely to orgasm if his penis were merely rubbed gently in passing…

So the ‘sexually equal’ couple would presumably prefer oral sex or mutual masturbation. This way both sexes could enjoy equal genital stimulation.

Would Nature be happy? No because these activities are not reproductive and so the human race would die out. After all, the PRIME purpose of sex is reproduction. Sexual pleasure is merely a by-product.

Men are fortunate where sex is concerned. A man’s penis is both his sex organ as well as a reproductive organ (also the testes or testicles). Male orgasm (ejaculation in particular) is required for successful reproduction. Men need penile stimulation for orgasm and so vaginal intercourse provides sufficient stimulation for male orgasm.

Women are not so lucky. Their sex organ is the clitoris but their reproductive organs include the vagina, the uterus (womb) and the ovaries (where the eggs are stored). The clitoris is not involved in reproduction and neither is female orgasm. So unfortunately, vaginal intercourse does not provide sufficient clitoral stimulation for female orgasm.

Women who claim to reach orgasm from intercourse alone are mistaken

Sex is designed to provide men with sexual pleasure and orgasm for reproductive reasons. Conversely, sex is NOT designed to provide women with sexual arousal or orgasm because female orgasm is irrelevant to human reproduction.

If women were able to orgasm through vaginal intercourse and without any clitoral stimulation, it would imply that women are MORE HIGHLY SEXED than men. Even men need DIRECT penile stimulation for orgasm.

So anyone who claims that women orgasm during vaginal intercourse is mistaken. Of course, women are known to fake both their own sexual arousal and orgasm. Equally many women simply assume that they orgasm during intercourse because they have no knowledge of what orgasm. This explains why so few women ask about lack of orgasm.

It is only women who are familiar with orgasm from masturbation who realise that orgasm is missing from sex with a partner.

"Nevertheless, many women prefer intercourse to masturbation because it gives them additional sensual benefits such as being held and being kissed and also makes them part of a spontaneous give and take." (p587 Human Sexuality (fifth edition) 1995)

Vaginal intercourse, from a woman’s perspective, feels much the same as affectionate hugging since the vagina has few nerve endings and so there is little sensation from thrusting.

Women have evolved a willingness to co-operate with men’s sex drive and provide men with sexual pleasure so that they are impregnated. Vaginal intercourse provides women with an easy way of satisfying a man with the least inconvenience to herself.

Jane Thomas is founder of the female sexuality forum Ways Women Orgasm.