What does Passive Aggressive Mean

Passive aggressive is actually, a kind of personality that is seen in some people. But this simply doesn't give us any significant clue about what exactly is passive aggressive. To elaborate more about it, let us first study the two words of this term, that are, 'passive' and 'aggressive', separately. Passive is defined as someone who is patient and peaceful and avoids confrontation. Aggressive can be defined as strong willed who will get his/her way at any cost. When we combine the two words together, we have the word 'passive aggressive' which means that a person who will show passivity but will try to change a situation or circumstance by manipulation, stubbornness, procrastination or sulkiness.

You must have come across many passive aggressive behavior signs displayed by some children, co-workers, family members and friends. Passive aggressive personality disorder is seen in both genders, although women seem to be suffering more from it. Here we are going to discuss what passive aggressive mean and how you can identify this personality trait.

Recognizing Passive Aggressive Behavior

The first step in recognizing passive aggressive trait is to know what it mean. A person who has a passive aggressive personality seems outwardly calm and patient, who actively complies with the needs and desires of others, but in reality passively resists them. The psycohology of a passive aggressive person is such that he/she is actually an insecure and manipulative person who has an inability to say 'no' to anyone. They want to be perceived as 'sweet' and 'nice' and will therefore rarely disagree with a person. But in this process, the person becomes negative, resentful, angry and hostile.

You must have noticed this kind of passive aggressive trait in co-workers who accept their mistakes, but will not change them. They are outwardly nice and passive but resist any criticism or change by simply ignoring them, by procrastinating or by sulking.

Passive aggressive behavior becomes very problematic, if you encounter it in your partner or spouse. A passive aggressive husband or wife needs counseling and the relationship might crumble if it is not resolved. The most challenging thing about a passive aggressive person is that it is very difficult to recognize the traits in him/her. Here are some typical remarks made by the passive aggressive male or female. These passive aggressive examples will help you to identify this personality trait.

"It's your decision. I can't stop you."
"I don't dislike it. But I don't like it either."
"It's your life. Do what you like."
"I am not angry. Just disappointed."
"Who am I to tell you anything."
"I said I will do it."

Of course, not all these statements reveal that a person is passive aggressive. Other clues that will help you to recognize passive aggressive traits are victimizing himself or herself, ridiculing loved ones in front of people, making sarcastic comments, blaming others for his/her misery and complaining about everything that goes wrong.

People who are passive aggressive resent any kind of extra work or responsibility and show their displeasure by their behavior rather than words. Passive aggressive men tend to humiliate and mock their partner in front of people so that they look good. Non compliance and passive non cooperation is often masked as forgetfulness.

As mentioned earlier, passive aggressive behavior is seen mostly in females. This is because many women find it hard to say no to family and friends and end up doing things that they don't like. This makes them resentful and hostile. Children sometimes display passive aggressive traits, which can cause a lot of problem in later life, if not corrected immediately.

This was all about passive aggressive behavior and personality. If you are living with a passive aggressive partner, then the best solution for this is to go for therapy. If therapy is not an option, then express your displeasure when you encounter such behavior. When the person knows that you are aware of his passive aggressive tactics, he/she will stop it. It is important to identify such behavior and know that this stems from deep rooted insecurities and fear.

Now that you know what passive aggressive means, confront such behavior with authority and in a non judgmental way.