What can I Say What can I Do

Why do I even bother
Every time I try to tell the truth it just comes out in lies
I don't want to hurt any one else
I've hurt to many already
I've been trusted with everything
But soon just lied enough to lose all trust in every body
I have lost their trust every where I've gone

Every place I've been
I don't know where to run
I've run out of options
So I turn to my friend the drugs
But when I can't find them
What can I do
I can't tell any one cause then they'll think I'm looking for attention
And that's one thing I hate even more than my self

So that's when I'm stuck
To suffer in my feelings and thoughts
So when I can't take it any more
I turn to my other friend
The Razor Blade
I don't like my other friend
But what can I say it gets the job done
I want to tell someone some day that I need to talk

But I just don't think they will ever trust me
When I say I hate myself for hurting all the people who care so much
And losing it over and over
I Just don't know what to do
Except watch the Razor go in
I feel the rush
And for the first few moments
Everything is gone in my head
I hope some day
I will stop and be able to talk
But I don't no if I'll be around long enough for that.