What are the Different Kinds of Jealousy?

It is often heard that, love is sharp & hate is sharper but jealousy is the sharpest as it is love and hate at the same time. Jealousy is an emotion which creates negativity, and feelings of fear, anxiety and insecurity. Jealousy is defined as a protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship, arising from a situation in which the partner's involvement with an activity and/or another person is contrary to the jealous person's definition of their relationship. Often envy is stated as a synonym of jealousy but on a closer look, you will realize that envy is in fact a subset of jealousy.

Jealousy is an imperfect blend of sadness, anger, disgust and resentment. So powerful is this emotion that, it has destroyed many a perfect relationship and caused huge emotional distress to the jealous person and the person who was the cause of the jealousy. Extreme cases of jealousy have even been a cause for murders and suicides. Jealousy is one of the most common human emotions and is experienced by either genders. It is not culture specific and shows its presence from the age of 6 months onwards. Jealousy can be differentiated by understanding the circumstances behind it. Now let us understand them in details.

Differences in Jealousy by its Origin

As per a study conducted in the year 1989 by Paul Mullen and Gregory White, there are supposed to be three different classes of jealousy, namely:

• Pathological Jealousy - Commonly refers to jealousy surfacing out of sensitive experiences and personality disorders which affect a relationship and create a self-esteem issue.
• Normal Jealousy - Happens due to no particular psychological problem or mental sensitivity. It is the most common type of jealousy.
• Symptomatic Jealousy - It is the one that is caused due to nervous system problems such as schizophrenia, paranoid disorders and organic brain disorders. At times, this jealousy gets triggered out of substance abuse too.

Common Types of Jealousy

The five major types of jealousy have been discussed here in detail for your reference.

Jealousy from Romance
It is the most common and frequent type of jealousy. It is said that romantic jealousy is usually the cause of first ever fight between a couple. In most cases, the root cause is fear of emotional infidelity. There is a sense of security in the mind of a partner if there is perfect reciprocation of love from the other partner in the relationship. However, if the relationship creates insecurity and vulnerability in the mind of the partner, then a feeling of fear and jealousy gets germinated. In such cases, there is a constant fear of losing one's importance in the relationship. Some people experience severe jealousy whenever a new and attractive person comes in contact with their partner.

Jealousy at Workplace
This is a commonly observed jealousy occurring between colleagues and subordinates at a workplace. It is often known to crop up when there is a lack of appreciation at workplace for the work and efforts made by an employee. Often, there is a general feeling of jealousy and resentment between colleagues who have similar job profiles, when only one of them gets promoted, gets a pay hike and gets rewarded for his efforts. Often, we see an employee trying to win himself a new position or a challenging work project, but the same position or project gets offered to some other colleague of his. This creates a feeling of disappointment and jealousy in the heart of an employee.

Platonic Jealousy
This type of jealousy is often mistaken for romantic jealousy but, one must remember that there is a thin line of difference between the two. This jealousy can most commonly be seen in friendships, when one fears losing a friend to a more interesting or friendly person. The emotional attachment with your own friend is so much that you can't imagine them with some new friend. Also, platonic jealousy surfaces in a 'love triangle' situation. Here, we see two girls trying to win a special place in the heart of the same boy or two boys trying to win a special place in the heart of the same girl. Platonic jealousy was aptly shown in the popular comic books called 'Archie' wherein both Betty and Veronica try to vie Archie.

Jealousy amongst Siblings
Sibling rivalry is commonly seen in families across the world. There is a general sense of competition amongst children to be their parent's favorite child. There is a display of jealousy on arrival of a new sibling, on being made to share favorite toys, clothes and other facilities with siblings, on being showered lesser attention and experiencing lesser love than siblings, on experiencing a negative comparison made between siblings by parents or even when a sibling is smarter or more talented than another.

Abnormal Jealousy
It is a baseless kind of a jealousy triggered by no possible reasons except psychological problems such as delusions, paranoia or schizophrenia, etc. Under some extreme cases of abnormal jealousy, a person is known to display immaturity and insecurity along with a controlling nature. Such people tend to assume that their family members, friends and partners are unfaithful to them. There is a constant fear that others are talking against them behind their backs. Such people tend to keep a tight check on their partner's movements, their phone calls, etc.

How to Control Jealousy?

Except for some psychological cases like those of abnormal jealousy, it is possible to curtail and gradually control jealousy problem. It requires initiative and full support from the person facing the problem as well as his loved ones. The person himself should learn to accept the existence of such a problem and learn to control it. He may be made to understand that each person is unique and therefore, it is impossible to make a comparison between them. If there is some irrational fear and display of over-possessiveness then the same can be controlled by gentle reassurances of love and understanding by loved ones.

Sibling jealousy can be provoked on account of actual treatment of discrimination given by parents or due to feelings of insecurity experienced by siblings. Parents are advised to deal with this problem in a positive way as soon as it is detected, else sibling rivalry can have some serious effects and cause a lifelong rift and tension between siblings. When dealing with workplace jealousy, it is always possible for you to be professional and approach your seniors and demand a recheck of your appraisal. You may give a thorough presentation about the contributions that you made for the company during the whole year. Nowadays, organizations are being forced to apply scientific methods of appraisal systems so as to create a fairness in appraisal. The methods applied have helped justify the appraisal results, which has in turn have helped to reduce jealousy between colleagues.

So why sulk about your fate and get jealous of others? Love yourself and be assured about your capabilities. Give life your best shot and before your know it, things will start falling in place.