Wedding Envelope Etiquette

I always think that the words 'wedding' and 'etiquette' somehow do not go together. Wedding is one of the most beautiful moments of a person's life, a melange of emotions and a hope for a new future together. Etiquette on the other hand exudes strict, emotionless formality. But since, wedding is also a union of two families, you need to appease everyone and adhering to wedding etiquette is the best way of achieving that. Addressing your guests is another such issue that you need to think over if you do not wish to offend or upset anyone on your wedding. Hence, we are offering some guidelines on wedding invitation etiquette to help you out.

Traditionally, wedding invitations include two envelopes, outer one and inner one. The outer one is for the formal name and mailing address of the recipients while the inner one is less formal with only the names of the guests. The return address is mentioned on the back flap of the outer envelope. The idea behind this protocol was that the mail was often received by the servants of the house, who would separate wedding invitations from the other mails. They would then remove the outer envelope and hand the inner envelope to their masters. Since, the invitation had already reached its destination there was no need for the outer envelope. Although, the practice of getting mails through servants has become obsolete now, the tradition still continues. However, some couples prefer to send a single outer envelope with formal name and postal address of their guests.

Wedding Envelope Addressing Etiquette

Addressing guests on a wedding invitation envelope was never complicated before. But with the emergence of gay marriages, live in relationships and with divorce rate reaching an all time high, addressing your guests has become a big headache. Moreover, you also have to take their professional titles into consideration while addressing envelopes. Given below are some possible combinations for addressing your guests.

Married Couple Living in the Same House

Outer Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smith
(Address)

Inner Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Married Couple Living in the Same House With Children Under 18 yrs

Outer Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smith
Alex and Susan (elder first)
(Address)

Inner Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Alex and Susan

Children above 18 years should be sent separate invites even if they are staying with their parents. If the woman retains her maiden name she could be addressed similar to an unmarried woman as given below.

Unmarried Couple Living in the Same House

Outer Envelope
Ms. Caroline Jones
Mr. David McGregor
(Address)

Inner Envelope
Ms. Jones
Mr. McGregor

A couple that does not technically stay together should be sent separate invites. Also, a divorced couple should be sent separate invites. The woman can be addressed by whatever name she retains after her divorce.

Single Individual With Guest

If you wish to invite a friend who you know is seeing someone or engaged, it would be appropriate the find out the name of the concerned person. You can either send that person a separate invite or address them together as an unmarried couple. If you are not able to retrieve the name of the concerned individual, it is acceptable to address them as 'guest'. The format for addressing a single individual is as below:

Outer Envelope
Ms. Caroline Jones
(Address)

Inner Envelope
Ms. Jones and Guest

Gay Couple

If the couple stays together they should be sent a single invite with both their names appearing on the envelope in an alphabetical order.

Outer Envelope
Mr. Malcolm Filch
Mr. Simon O'Connor
(Address)

Inner Envelope
Mr. Filch
Mr. O'Connor

The etiquette for addressing on an envelope may vary slightly according to your country and tradition. If you are still confused about how to address your guests, let your common sense guide you. You are least likely to go wrong that way!