We Are Who We Are

A little bit about me. I am a 35 year old lesbian mother of one daughter. I pretty much knew I was a lesbian from the time I was three. I grew up with two other siblings. My brother who is older than I, He was and still is my idol. My sister, four years younger than me, a royal pain in my behind. But, as we grew up into adults, is now my best friend. I preferred hot wheel cars over baby dolls. Wanted a chemistry set instead of an easy bake oven. Had to be Ken instead of Barbie. Fantasized about Brook Shields after watching the Blue Lagoon. ( my first adult movie to watch) Wanted to be Jo, on the Facts Of Life. Growing up, went through just about every Lesbian phase you could imagine. From Baby butch, to Butch, to Femme, back to Butch. And then just kind of settled into my own little niche. Had my fair share of sweet Mullets. The classic Kentucky waterfall. I have been asked by many, Were you born this way or did you chose this lifestyle? Well, my answer will always be the same. Both. I feel I was born a girl who like girls a lot more than boys. But, I chose to continue this lifestyle. Because everyone has a choice regardless. You can choose to be gay or you can choose to be straight. There is no gray line here. It basically comes down to your choice. Regardless if you’re straight, gay, lesbian, Bi, transgender. It still comes back to one thing. It is your choice. It’s your choice on how you want to live your life.

I have also been asked, Why choose this lifestyle? Being a Lesbian and having a Lesbian relationship is probably one of the hardest things to do. But, my answer is this. There is nothing as satisfying and as wonderful as a woman’s touch. I have always been the type to sit back, watch, listen, learn, dissect everything and everyone.

A Lesbian relationship is hard. Now, is it as hard as a heterosexual relationship? In my opinion, by far. When we first come out of the closet, we are like kids in a candy store, we want all the eye candy we can have. We are trying to figure out what group we fit in. What roles do we play. Are we Butch? Are we Femme? Who takes out the trash, does the landscaping, does the maintenance on the vehicles? Or who washes the dishes, buys the groceries, cleans the house? Some of us are women trapped in a so called mans body, As women, we are concerned with what fashion , what hair style, and what shoes are going to attract the most attention. As Lesbians, we have the most wide variety group there is . We are not prejudiced. We do not concern ourselves with race or age. We are jealous ( even when we say we are not) We cheat, even when we may not actually have physical contact, it damn sure runs through our mind. Our best friend usually is our lover. We can share our most intimate thoughts with our partners. We can speak and be heard. We can cry and not be ashamed. When we fight, it is by far the worst than any other relationship. But, when we make up the intimacy is out of this world. We have probably the closest relationship than any hetorosexual couple. So, why is this lifestyle so damn hard? Well, because we are women. Not because we are Lesbian. When we are in a relationship, dating, married, or just living with each other. There is so much estrogen there. That you can not change with two women. We are emotional, we have drama, we make drama. We cry, we laugh, we are scared, we share our most inner thoughts, our darkest secrets, our dreams, our fears, and our goals. We talk, we listen, and we care. We can be the best friend you ever had, or your worst enemy. We are vindictive as much as we are benevolent. We love as much as we hate. We are divine as much as we are unholy. Even if we struggle in a relationship, we are still women. As women, we have overcome so much. We can mother better than most, we can agree to disagree, we have freedom of speech, we now can vote. We now have the power to become President. We are on the Supreme Court. We can be artist, musicians, and even authors. In time we will also be able to perfect a great Lesbian relationship.

So even though a Lesbian lifestyle and a Lesbian relationship is far the hardest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would still choose this lifestyle. Until you have walked in our shoes, loved who we have loved and shared what most people really want, don’t criticize, don’t hate and don’t judge.

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