Warning Signs of Infidelity

Statistics chart an alarming rate of 50%, at which most marriages end in divorce on account of infidelity. Infidelity refers to a partner cheating on the vows that are solemnly taken while indulging in the institution of marriage. When a partner turns towards a third person for the fulfillment of personal, physical desires or to communicate intimately, the situation becomes very stressful for the unsuspecting spouse. Instances of marital problems relating to infidelity are steadily increasing, but so is the awareness to nip such situations in the bud.

The signs are all there. A few conscientious partners have taken the trouble to rewind time and take a sneak view of what they missed out on, when seeking divorce advice. Analysis revealed the following signs or infidelity that were so eminent, but ignored:

Time away from home:

Probably the most common sign of infidelity is the spouse spending additional time, more than what is required, away from home. An eagerness to sign in for 'extra-time' or unplanned and 'n'th minute business trips, emergency meetings and car pools should never go unmonitored. It pays to be attentive to more-than-frequent shopping sprees, conferences and seminars and movement without telephone contact.

Lack of interest in the physical relationship:

This is a the most obvious pointer to troubled waters. A sudden disinterest should not be brushed aside as 'tiredness' or 'work related stress', simply because your spouse says so. The doubt can be eliminated by being pleasantly pushy and creating a romantic atmosphere when the two of you are alone. Your partner's response to your obvious need would indicate his or her intent.

Evasion from 'couple' activities:

You should be alert to this sign of infidelity. In event of a real distraction from the relationship, your partner would be less inclined to sign up for or indulge in 'couple' planned outings. There would be an inclination to be a part of the 'out with the guys/girls' activities or a show of disorientation or distraction, when asked to come along.

New confidant:

Check for secret conversations and quick clicks on the mouse when you enter the room. These are foolproof signs of infidelity. A mention of a new friend or confidant and regular time spent with this person should never be ignored. Other signs of such distraction comes in the form of daydreaming and disorganization during 'family' times.

Secrecy: A regular check of the cupboards, drawers and regular haunts around the house reveal more than just paper and clutter. This includes a check of personal belongings, which as a spouse you do have the right to access. However, before overdoing it and indulging in marriage counseling, it is important to consider the time period over which you have noticed such behavior.

Jumping to conclusions only makes a good marriage turn sour. Nevertheless, on a serious paradigm shift in the marriage, such a search could help unearth one-number-concentrated phone bills, hidden credit cards, higher than required or usual mileage on the car and the scent of unfamiliar perfume. Secrecy with regards to long distance travel, excuse for refusal to join the family on a preplanned trip, change of work clothes, credit card charges or payments, withdrawals of money and lesser bank deposits should all be monitored.

If you want your marriage to work, especially if there are children involved, you need to first and foremost experiment with the mesmerizing power of unconditional love and romance in stress management. It is only in the presence of a claustrophobic feel that a spouse is more inclined towards infidelity. The signs of infidelity can be traced in more than one area and for miles around. Instead of looking at what is not here and inviting stress, develop the attitude to appreciate what is. This helps to bring your partner back to where he belongs - home! And, home is where the heart is, so become the heart of the home. Pulsate with love and a caring attitude and you will be amazed at how quickly the relationship heals.