Verbal Abuse Signs

"Sandra and Jason have been married for 4 years. They have 2 children, Kathy who is 3 and Welma who is 1. Sandra and Jason courted for about 3 years before they got married. Sandra was a very different person before marriage. She was responsible, but carefree. She loved laughing and spent a lot of time with her friends. That is what Jason fell in love with. Soon after they got married, Sandra's friends started noticing changes in her. She stopped meeting up often. Her general volume for talking had reduced and she barely called or spoke on the phone. She never showed up for movies or went shopping. Basically, she was petrified. Sandra had quit her job when she had Kathy. After that, she seemed to go more and more into her nutshell. Why? What caused this change in Sandra's behavior and personality? Everyone knew that Jason was hot headed. Although he would never physically hurt someone, he could be quite abusive verbally, if he were tempered. So, could that be the reason for Sandra's plight? What should she have watched out for?"

Signs of Verbal Abuse

Sign #1
The first of the signs of spoken abuse, is blaming. An abuser will always play the blame game. They will never admit that they are at fault, it's not that they don't know. They will keep going deeper and deeper into the forest of self vindication and blame you for every small thing that goes wrong. Wondering where the blame was earlier in your relationship? Well, the blame for a long time, was on his/her ex. For quite a while, he/she still continued to blame the ex. Now, it's you. No biggy!

Sign #2
The next sign is resentment. The abuser will have a lot of resentment. It's like the slightest error will burn them up. They will feel like no one is appreciating them, talking to them, giving them credit etc. They will believe that they deserve much more than they get, as such they will almost always be resentful and angry with everyone. If you think that your coming into their life will help them change, you are mistaken. They need a lot to calm down, and often resort to blaming. (see sign #1)

Sign #3
The next sign of a person who will resort to such an act is one who is self-centered. This person will consider themselves in a very high light. They will keep claiming to endure much more than others and that other's have it easy because of all the things that they do. They believe that the world should be grateful to them at every step of the way. If they notice that this does not happen, they will get into a cycle of resentment. (see sign #2)

Sign #4
One of the earliest signs is yelling. The abuser will yell at the drop of a hat, literally. Like if their partner makes the slightest mistake, they will not bring it to their notice by explaining or confronting, but yelling and blaming instead. In fact, if you are in a relationship with a yeller, beware. They will resort to verbal abuse sooner or later; and in a marriage, it mostly starts getting noticed from this step.

Sign #5
A very major indication or sign of verbal abuse in a relationship, is when one of them is always in a state of terror. They will make sure that everything is always perfect for no other reason, but the fear of setting off their partner. Even in a restaurant, they will make sure that the waiter places everything right, for just one evening of peace. Friends of a person behaving with such fear, or family, should take action and help them out.

Sign #6
Other signs include disrespect, shaming, ridicule, swearing, forced sex, constant treatment of the person being a sexual object with no particular feelings, etc. Believe it of not, such behavior is a regular affair in today's society. The abuser will end up hurting their partner even when it seems like they are comforting them. Saying things like, "yes, you are very weak and look hideous, but I guess I'll still love you!"

Verbal abuse has a very strong existence in society. Women and men need to be more aware of the underlying existence of abusive nature before entering the path of relationship with a person. Watch out for these signs. This is where I sign off! Hope this article helped you!