Vague Reality

How can you be so far away when standing right in front of me?
To have near me and not be able to touch your lips with mine,
Or to hold you hand while strolling down a path with nothing ahead of us,
To not be able to tell you that I love you and not break something so strong and delicate,

Why can’t you see that this feeling doesn’t fade?
Not with time nor with lust,
I don’t mean to say it is permanent but hard to erase,
It would have been easier to go back in time and stop it all,

But that’s not the case,
I admit, I muse about how it would be like to be together and something glows inside me,
Then I come back to reality and that spark that once glowed strong and bright,
Now fades and disappears with time and thought,

I wish I had the nerve to tell you, but that wouldn’t be right,
You live your life now ...without me,
The same way I should live without you,
However, somehow I prefer my illusion than our reality,

Because my reality is vague, pathless or misdirected,
And to that conclusion I think it would be best to say goodbye,
That might not seem fair to you,
But to me the fairest decision of all is to move on,

I can finally break that chain that haunted me for so long,
I might not live happily ever after,
But my reality will become vague no more.