Use Eye Contact for Conversation Success

One really big difference between those people who are socially confident and those people who find it hard to make friends, is that socially successful people make a lot more eye contact with the people they are talking to.

If you have found it hard to make close relationships with other people, one reason could be that you do not make enough eye contact when you are talking with them!

In North America, most people prefer to make a lot of eye contact when they are talking to others. If North Americans are talking with someone who won’t make eye contact, they will feel they can’t really trust the other person.

So, if you have been having a hard time turning strangers into friends, it could be that you are not making eye contact the right way.

When you don’t make eye contact with your conversation partner, the other person may think that you are nervous, or perhaps even untrustworthy.

On the other hand, if you make too much eye contact, or if you stare too hard at other people, they will feel uncomfortable. Staring too directly at another person can be intimidating.

You need to learn a good balance between making eye contact and looking away.

Some people feel very uncomfortable looking directly into another person’s eyes. If you are one of those people who is bothered by looking into someone else’s eyes, here is a trick that might help you: you don’t need to look directly into the other person’s eyes. You can look generally at the eye area, and let your own eyes go a little bit out of focus.

This might help you feel more comfortable.

Glance away from the other person for very brief seconds at a time, but always bring your attention back to your conversation partner’s face.

It’s also important to know that most people don’t want to be stared at intensely during a conversation. They might feel like they’re being interrogated by the police, and this could make them feel very uncomfortable.

You probably don’t want the person you are having a conversation with to feel uncomfortable and intimidated. You want them to think you are a nice, pleasant person they would like to get to know better.

So, how do you keep a good balance between making eye contact, and looking away?

You may be surprised to find out there are no hard and fast rules that work 100% effectively every time!

The reason is because every culture has their own rules about what amount of eye contact is appropriate between people when making conversation.

For example, Caucasian people who live in North America prefer to make a lot of eye contact with their conversation partners. People in many Oriental countries prefer less eye contact.

Even within North America, non-white people usually do not like a lot of eye contact, and may even feel that it is disrespectful.

In some cultures, it is not acceptable for a woman to make eye contact with a man unless she is related to him. In some cultures, for a woman to do so is considered a sign that she is not a respectable woman!

Yet, during the flirting and getting to know another person stage of a more intimate relationship, making eye contact and looking away is part of the natural progression of the relationship.

So, making eye contact can sometimes be tricky.

But if you want to learn more about how you can increase the effectiveness of eye contact during conversations, here are some more tips for you.

While you are speaking to another person, keep listening to what the other person is saying, and show your interest in them by looking at their face the majority of the time.

Don’t keep glancing around the room too much, or look at other people too often. Keep bringing your gaze back to the person you are with.

If you look around too much, you will seem to your conversation partner as if you are bored with them and can’t wait to get away.

You can let your conversation partner know that you are interested by your facial expressions. Smile more often, and keep nodding at the other person. Let your facial muscles be relaxed so that you are not smiling nervously, and let your facial expression change as the conversation changes.

Look for what you find genuinely interesting about the other person and their opinions.

When you are talking with others, they want to feel like you are really paying attention to them, that their ideas, opinions and feelings matter to you. Making good eye contact while you are making conversation is a very important way you can show other people that you value them and enjoy their company.

When other people feel that you are genuinely interested in them, they will enjoy you more, and seek out your company. They will be more likely to look forward to seeing you again and developing a closer relationship with you in the future

This article is taken from the new special report by Royane Real titled "Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation" To improve your social life and download it today at http://www.lulu.com/real