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She had stopped living a long time ago. Now, she merely existed. She woke up every morning, dreading the day to come. She did her chores, sent the kids to school, and gave her husband the customary goodbye kiss at the door. Every day was the same. The only thing that changed was probably her clothes. Not that she did not like her life to be organized. She just wished it was a little fun as well. She wished she could escape from the monotonous rut that she was stuck in. But every time this thought crossed her mind, her children's faces cropped up and she stifled the urge to scream her lungs out. What she could not do was affecting what she could. And slowly but steadily she collapsed. First emotionally, then psychologically, and finally, physically.
An unhappy marriage is one of the most common marital problems that couples face today. It leads to several other problems like depression and other psychological disorders. The high rates of divorce are testimony to the fact that the sanctity of marriage as an institution is being diminished day by day. The signs may begin to manifest at any time. Early during the marriage or late, the important thing is that you realize them and decide for yourself what steps you're going to take further.
Communication Gap
If you and your spouse are having serious communication problems, it is definitely something to worry about. Lack of communication can be perceived as a sign and also as a result of an unhappy marriage. You cannot live your life with a person you can't talk to. And if simply talking to your spouse seems like a chore to you or if your spouse behaves in a manner that makes you feel that way, then you need to do some damage control and find out the root cause of this problem and fix it.
No Time
Probably the most common indication that you or your spouse is unhappy in the marriage is that he or she is not giving you enough time. When a person does not receive the amount of time and attention that he expects from his spouse, it fosters feelings of hurt and disappointment. An unhappy marriage and depression go hand in hand. Being neglected by a spouse can have serious consequences and hence must be taken seriously.
Emotional Unavailability
When you marry a person, you expect certain things of him or her. One of these is emotional support and intimacy. The initial phase of courtship and marriage may seem rosy and hassle-free. A whirlwind romance followed by an extravagant wedding and a happily ever after is what dreams and fairytales are made of. In real life, your partner can become emotionally unattached to you as time passes. The reasons for this may be myriad and some may even be justifiable. But it is a sure sign of a crumbling marriage when your spouse isn't there for you in your difficult times.
Boredom
This might seem rude or obnoxious but if you're beginning to get bored with your spouse or if he/she has explicitly or subtly hinted that they are bored, then it is definitely one of the most disturbing signs of an unhappy marriage. But it is true. As the novelty of the relationship wears off and as you get to know someone till the point that nothing more is left to learn about, you tend to take things for granted about the person and you don't really participate in the daily life of that person for the simple reason that it doesn't interest you anymore.
Absence of Physical Intimacy
This is another major sign that your marriage is in trouble. If you and your spouse are having problems with physical intimacy, it could be a sign of many things. Infidelity is one of the major reasons of why people don't get intimate with their spouses. At the same time, there could be other reasons like minimal or no physical satisfaction with the spouse.
Constant Conflict
If you and your spouse are constantly bickering, fighting, and arguing, it can be a sign. An unhappy marriage, specially when kids are involved, is the most difficult to deal with. The constant fighting and possible abuse puts a lot of strain on the children's psychology as well. In turn, there is an unhappy relationship between the parents and children as well as between the spouses themselves. Two people who love each other will think twice before saying something hateful to each other. If that is not happening, it is an unhappy marriage.
No Appreciation
A marriage thrives on compromise. But when this compromise surpasses its limits, one spouse is taken for granted. While one spouse feels that everything is peachy, the other one begins to go back into a shell. One spouse develops a superiority complex and the other feels inferior. A major reason for this is that the hard work put in by one spouse is seldom or never appreciated.
Constant Talk of Separation
If your spouse is constantly talking about divorce or separation to you or your children, then it is a definite sign that it he or she is not happy in the marriage anymore. If he/she knows all the legal aspects of separation and divorce and makes it a point to expressly discuss it with you taking your relationship into context, your marriage is going downhill.
The signs that a marriage is unhappy may or may not be the same for all couples. It is only you who can truly realize whether your marriage is happy or not. Don't make any rash decisions based on random advice that you hear from time to time. Identify with it and make sure that you do what you think will make you happier. It is your life after all.