Two Short Fairie Tales for Hallow's Eve!

I’m really sorry I haven’t had time to post 8, but I promise I will be able to soon. My schoolwork is really getting a lot better and I’m catching up on my assignments. In the spirit of the holiday I thought I’d write a couple mini stories. I absolutely love Hallow’s Eve, what with the dressing up and the pie and cookies I get to bake and the pumpkins and squash that get carved and taking walks in the park among all the, fallen, vibrantly-colored leaves.

Anyway, you’ve all heard the stories of Red Riding Hood as well as Hansel and Gretel of course. Last year I dressed up as Red Riding Hood and this year I’m dressed up as Gretel. If any of you have ever seen the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons you’ll know that there’s a segment in that show called Fractured Fairy Tales where they take the original stories and mess with them a little to make them funny. Well that’s kind of what I’m going to do. I hope you enjoy!

By the way check out the song /Little Red Ridin’ Hood/ by Ray Stevens (possibly on youtube). It’s an old song, like record player old, but it’s a really neat song and I love it.

DON’T GO into the WOODS ALONE
I was riding my old skateboard around in the small driveway with a lavender turtleneck, a red, plaid miniskirt, tight, thick, orange leggings, and my favorite sky-blue converses (it was windy and cold today) when Mom opened the kitchen window and set the freshly baked pie on the wide sill. I inhaled deeply, taking in the delicious scent. She owned a little bakery and loved to cook, just like Gran.
"ANNA!"

"What?! Mom, I’m right here!" I stepped off my skateboard and flipped it up with my foot, catching it and holding it tight under my arm.
She glanced down. "Oh." She tossed a cloth sack out the window. I reached out and caught it in one hand. I sniffed at the package.
"Mmmm, what’s this?"
"Don’t smell, don’t touch, don’t even open and look! They’re pumpkin-almond-cranberry cookies for Mama. They’re for her party and I don’t want you eatin’ ‘em all!"
I sighed and set down my skateboard. "I don’t want you taking that hazardous thing and hurting yourself. Those cookies with throw off your God-gifted sense of balance."
Rolling my eyes, I held out my other hand. "Keys?"
"You are not taking my Beetle! You can walk, it’ll do you some good. Ahh, fresh air!" she inhaled deeply.
"Mom, I’ve been getting fresh air out here for over an hour…"
"Just go!" She tossed out my old, dusty, tattered, worn, faded red cloak from the window. I put it on and turned around, pulling up the hood. "Don’t take that path through the forest either! Don’t you remember that news report about that poor girl and the serial killer?!" She went back inside to continue cooking.

I sighed (again) and headed straight for the forest path, just like every other rebellious teen.
Well of course, this was the forest, so it wasn’t long before a large gray wolf began following me. "Why are you following me?" He didn’t answer, so I stopped walking and turned swiftly around on my heel. "Why are you following me?" I repeated.
He sat down. "Following you? Who’s following you? This is a public path. Did it ever occur to you that someone just might have somewhere to go just like you, pretty little Red?"

"Whatever, Wolf."
"I’m not a wolf. I’m a half-breed dog."
"Half breed of what?"
"Great Dane and Irish Terrier."
I snorted and burst you laughing. "I’m not even going to respond to that."
"Ooooh, what’s that?" He put his nose to my pocket. "Mmmm, smells good."
I smacked him on the nose. "Don’t touch! They’re for my Gran’s party, Wolf. If I can’t have any, then neither can you."
"I’m not a wolf. That seems a little unfair, don’t you think, Red?" He pouted his lip as his eyes got big and he laid his ears down.
We had already started walking again and I hadn’t noticed it. "Life’s unfair, Wolf. Didn’t your pack ever tell you that?"
"I’m a loner."

"Of course you are. I mean look at you, Wolf."
"I’m not a wolf. What’s wrong with me, Red?"
I poked him in the side and he yelped. "Look at yourself, Wolf. You’re so skinny your ribs are showing. You’d think that a wolf in a forest could at least get a meal."
"You’d think. But street dogs don’t. They just get kicked. It’s a hard life, Red."
"Not as hard as one filled with homework and mothers," I muttered under my breath.
"What was that, Red?"
"Nothing."
He suddenly stopped walking. "What’s that?"
"What’s what, Wolf?"
"You don’t smell that, Red?"

"Smell wh-!" I was knocked to the ground. Someone grabbed my ankles and began dragging me into the brush. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Then I heard snarling and growling. "AH WOOOOO!!!" Then more growling, and barking and big teeth snapping, and then a blood curdling scream.
I sat up. The serial killer we’d seen on the news was lying on the path, covered in blood. Wolf dropped the man’s heart on the ground by him. "Oh, gross Wolf!"
"This is how you thank someone who just saved your life, Red?"
"Thanks." I stood up and dusted myself off.
"Who would be stupid enough to attack a girl with a-," we said together.
"Wolf," I finished.
"Dog," he finished.
We started walking again.
"What’s that Red?" he asked suddenly.
"What’s what, Wolf?" I had spaced out for awhile and just kept walking with him without thinking about it.
"What’s that?" he indicated towards a house with his forepaw.

"That would be where I am going. That’s my Gran’s house." I took the key out of the bird house by her mailbox and opened the door. "Come on, you can come in," I told him. I called out. "Gran! Mom told me to bring you- OH MY GOD EW!"
There was Gran standing by a bowl of brownie mix (So much for her homemade brownies. What would Mom think…) with a spoon in one hand and Dr. Cutter’s hair in the other, lip-locking with him.
Gran pulled away from him and gasped. "Anna? Why didn’t you call before you came?!" she sounded angry. My stomach churned.
"ANNA LOOK OUT!" Cutter grabbed Gran’s big kitchen knife and plunged it right into Wolf’s shoulder, as Wolf had jerked away causing Cutter to miss his eye.
"OW! OOOOOOOOOOOOOW! OWOOOOOOO!" He glared at Cutter. "What was that for?!"

"Ohhhh! Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! It’ll be okay! I’ll help you get it out, just hold still so I don’t hurt you-!"
"WOOOOOOOOO!" he interrupted me.
I sucked air in through my teeth. "Oooooh, hold still!" I grabbed the handle and jerked, yanking it out.
"OW!"
"It’s okay! It’ll be okay! You’ll be fine! You’ll live! Oh, I’m sorry; I know it hurts!" I took off my cloak and wrapped his wound, glaring at Dr. Cutter as I did so. "What is your problem?! I don’t go around stabbing your friends!" I hugged Wolf to me, trying to comfort him.

"But, but he-!"
"Oh, whatever!" I tossed Gran the cookies. "You should be ashamed of your brownies," I lectured her. "And you!" I pointed to the doctor, "Expect to being seeing some government people soon under the charge of assault or something!" Before helping Wolf limp outside I grabbed a giant box of cookies that were lying on the counter.
We sat outside on Gran’s stone bench in her yard among the flowers. "I love you Red," Wolf said, laying his head in my lap.

"I love you too, Wolf." I stroked his head a few times before opening the box of cookies and feeding him one. He crunched it and moaned, glad to finally have food. He shoved his nose into the box and began to scarf them hungrily. I laughed. "What a big tummy you have!"

NEVER TAKE CANDY from STRANGERS

"We’re poor! Don’t you get that? Poor! We have no food!" Though you wouldn’t know that by her 300 pound weight. "I am starving here! You have to get me more food!"
"But-!"
"No excuses!" She rolled over and went to sleep.

Greta had overheard her mother, and she didn’t want to starve, so she woke Hank and they each took a half-loaf of bread for their trip. They were running away, to a place with nicer people and lots of food, just like naughty children. The grass is always greener on the other side, even if you were just over the fence on that side and it looked brown. Greta scarfed hers down right away, the tiny starved thing that she was, but Hank, who was much more tired than hungry, broke his bread into pieces and dropped them randomly on the ground, dreaming of a big, soft bed.

After a few hours of walking through the woods they both sat down by a tree to rest. Well both kids fell asleep and awoke the next morning alone, of course. "Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea," stammered Greta.
"Don’t worry, I left a bread trail!" proclaimed Hank, very proud of himself.
"The birds ate it all, Stupid!" Greta shouted at him, tears spilling from her eyes.

So they both wandered off together, in the opposite direction of the correct one, don’t you know. After a few hours of wandering they came across a river. And by the river there was a house made from every kind of delicious cookie you could imagine. The two children ran over to the house and tore a big chunk from the side, completely forgetting it was a house and that just maybe someone lived in it, and began eating, completely overjoyed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" An old lady ran out of the house screaming and waving her arms around. The children dropped their cookies, screaming, and tried to run, but the witch, for that’s what she was, grabbed them both and dragged them inside.

She shoved Hank into a Cage and screeched at Greta "FIX THE HOLE YOU MADE IN MY HOUSE!" So over the next few weeks she forced Greta to cook and clean and repair, while she kept feeding Hank to fatten him up to eat. The only reason Hank ate what sweets she gave him was for if he did not, she would jab him with the fire poker.

One day a few weeks later, the old witch made Greta begin a fire under the stew pot and bring in buckets of water from the river to fill it with. Then the witch caught a squirrel and threw it in the pot as it bubbled. It screamed a tiny, high-pitched little scream.

"For flavor," the witch cackled. She took Hank from his cage and threw in the pot as well, with another scream.
"Goodbye Greta! Be strong!" He called to his sister.
"I love you Hank! I’ll miss you!"
"Oh no you won’t!" The witch touched Greta’s forehead, casting a spell on her. Greta’s eyes turned black. "Now go get your cloak and go into the woods and find me more people to eat!" she commanded as she stirred.
Greta turned without a word and grabbed both her cloak and her doll and left.

MEANWHILE

A small child had gotten lost from his parents in the wood. He wandered about, very frightened. He froze when he heard a small music box begin to play. "H-who-who’s there?" he whispered. A girl dropped from the tree above in front of him and threw her cloak on the ground. Her eyes were black, and in one hand she held a doll. She reached into her apron with the other and brought out a handful of candy and offered it to the boy. He took one and ate it eagerly. She dropped the candy on the ground, one by one, and led him to the cookie cottage.

The child’s parents were also in the forest, calling out for him. They heard a music box begin to play, and a girl dropped from the trees above, tossing her cloak on the ground. Her eyes were black, and in one hand she held a doll. She reached into her apron and brought out a small handful of Euros and gems, and held it out toward the pair.

"Who are you? We don’t want your money! What do you want? Have you seen our son?" Suddenly, a chain whipped out and wrapped around both of their wrists, and the girl dragged them, screaming, off to ‘see their son’.

A young person is walking through the woods to the next town then next day (it’s supposed to be you) and they suddenly hear a music box begin to play. (At this point a scream is heard.)

So last year I was the strange Red and this year I’m the puppet Evil Gretel who takes people off to be eaten.
Creepy huh? (The doll was the one playing the music; it had a music box inside of it.)

LofL
Laura