Two Lives, One Friendship, No Regrets - xi

This is it, she thought to herself. Excited though she was, she couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Phoenix. Not when she knew she felt the way she did. She wanted to be able to walk away without regrets.

This is what she wanted, right? To be able to move on in a different direction away from the impossible. Her first step towards a free break.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She raised her eyes towards her cubicle doorway and there he stood with a half-smile. Her heart did somersaults, and must've sprained something because soon after he spoke it felt like it was twisting in pain.
"So what's so important that it couldn't wait until you got home?" he strode towards her desk.
"How'd you get in here?"
"Why do you ALWAYS answer my question with a question? It's getting a bit old now, Gi."
"But how did you?" she asked.
"Security guard. Took down all my information. Happy?"
"Oh, ok. Well, did you want to head out?"
"Uh, sure."

"I have everything ready."
"Where are we going?"
"Just outside."
Awkwardly she went around her cubicle gathering the things they would need for their picnic.
"Need help?"
"No I can manage," and as if the fates wanted to prove her wrong, the plastic bag with all the food fell apart.
"You were saying?"
"Stop being a jackass and help me out already."

She watched him kneel to the ground and pick up the rest of the fallen groceries.
"You can stop staring now," he joked before looking up to find her quickly looking away.
"Whatever. Stop stroking your ego. Let's go find a spot outside."
"But it's cold!"
"You can handle it."
"Only for you," he smiled.
"So he says," she muttered loud enough for him to hear, then led them to the nearest picnic bench outside the building.

With every step she took to the bench, she wanted so badly to run away. Her heart was fluttering and the butterflies in her tummy were anything but calm. Oh God, she begged, please give me strength to say what I have to say.

Shaking out the moths in her head, she began to fuss and serve their lunches.
"Wow, this looks so good Gi," he said.
"You're just hung-over and hungry."
He shrugged and bit into his meatball sandwich.
"So what's this all about anyway?" he asked with his mouth full.
Avoiding eye contact she popped a French fry in her mouth, chewed, then swallowed as slow as she could before answering, "I'm moving away."
Oh yes, the butterflies were definitely not giving it a rest.

Slack-jawed he stared at her with an "are you serious?" look.
"Yes, I'm serious."

Recovering from his initial shock at her news he swallowed the forgotten bite and took a sip of his soup to wash it down.
"Why the sudden move?"
"Change, I guess? I spotted an article that said the employment opportunities in developing cities down South were booming. Sounded like a good place to start. I went down more than a month ago and applied for some job positions. I got the call that I was hired a week ago and I've decided to accept it."

"And you're ok with uprooting your safe life here to move somewhere you have never been?" He asked with concern after slurping the last of his soup.
"I've been down there, I told you."
"A time or two doesn't not a resident make," he retorted.
"It's an adventure, Nix."
"Sounds sketchy."
"It's fine. I know my way around already. The transition shouldn't be too bad," she assured him. Little did he know she was assuring herself just as much. She could do this, she cheered herself on.
"But when?"
"When do I leave? Right after Christmas."
"No way." His frown was as deep as the Atlantic Ocean.
"Yes."
"No," he shook his head.
"Why not?"
"Because..." he grew worried.
"There's no reason-" she began.
"No reason?!" He asked flabbergasted.

The look on her face was just as shocked. Of all the times he chooses to show he cares it's now when I'm leaving?!

"Aren't you supposed to be cheering me on about moving forward and taking every experience life gives you? Maybe even quoting something about lemons?"
"Sorry-"
She cut him off with "Never mind. Let's talk about something else."

He quietly bit into the rest of his sandwich as she reached for the leftover meatball. Georgia only made enough for one sandwich knowing she wouldn't have much of an appetite; this might well be the last time she'd see him for a very long time.

Reaching for the water bottle, she began a new subject on his latest projects. He spoke about how this was the last week of the project and the unveiling would be this coming Tuesday.
"You have to come and witness the labors of my sleepless nights!"

She felt a sharp pain in her chest. Why? Of all days? Of all times? She shook her head.
"You don't want to?" her heart broke a bit more when she saw the flash of hurt over his face but that expression left as quickly as it came.
"It's not that. It's just that Tuesday's my moving date," she replied quietly.
"Oh, that's too bad. I hope to take you there as my date," he stated.
Her heart felt like it was being torn apart into teeny tiny pieces. She couldn't and wouldn't allow herself to speak.

Her resolution to save the friendship by not committing to words of how she felt, was close to shattering but somehow she managed. She was having an internal tug of war between staying with the rising hope that he was finally seeing her as more versus going away to be a trustworthy friend and nothing more. Move forward, she told herself. It's for the best.

"Come on," Phoenix said after cleaning up their picnic.
"We should head back. We don't want you late."
"No, I guess not."
"Hey Gi, where are you moving?"
"Marsdale. Why? Are you gonna visit?" She might as well make light of it.
"If I'm invited, of course."
"Then you should know your invitation is always open."
They just smiled at each other and continued walking towards her soon to be former office.

She turned to hug him but he caught her first. Their hug seemed to last three times longer than their usual (which in itself wasn't that long). Letting go first (as usual), she said goodbye and rushed to her office cubicle. Sanctuary, she let out a sigh of relief.

Oh how she wished she wasn't moving. To be a part of something momentous in Phoenix's life such as the launch would have been enough. The pang remained with her for the rest of the evening.

After a couple of hours deliberating, she made calls that evening and had her move extended one more night. If there was one thing she wouldn't and couldn't do, that was bear to disappoint someone she loved.

Tuesday evening arrived. Pride didn't begin to describe what she felt when she stepped into the venue of Phoenix's launch. All the sleepless nights, all the missed, canceled or rescheduled lunch/dinner dates were all worth it when she looked at the grandeur and design of the place.

Her heart swelled. And in an instant her heart felt like a dagger had jabbed her by surprise. His eyes locked with hers after she spotted him snake his arm around Fresca's waist and kiss her temple lovingly.

What am I doing here, Georgia asked herself. I've fooled myself again.

She turned abruptly, bumping into newcomers. Apologizing here, there and everywhere, she made a dash for the exit.