Troubled Relationships

The euphoria of being in love in the initial years of a relationship is wonderful and exciting. In fact, if anyone has ever been in love, they can easily understand the excitement and joy love brings with it. Majority of the relationships start out on a very positive note and partners feel they've found the special someone. And, then before long, even before things take more deeper dimensions, love is lost.

Understandably beyond logic, it's true that ninety nine percent of troubled relationships are due to complains of lack of love and care from the person like it used to be, in the starting months of the relationship. In fact, loss of love is the main reason for all relationship woes that eventually spreads its tentacles like a monster headed hydra and engulfs the possibility of any love to blossom further in the relationship.

What causes these same cute loving couples to face variety of relationship issues that often lead to bizarre steps like divorces? Don't you think, somewhere, in the very idea of love, we tend to make mistakes that step by step lead us to chaos, even though when things start on a very positive note?

Or even when things are very bright, some or the other obstacles arise from nowhere, like career issues, too much family intervention, etc., that seem too difficult to overcome. Even if the partners spend great amount of time and energy in figuring out solutions of various problems, things don't get better and they lose hope for betterment of the situation.

Now to solve complications in a relationship, we must know what are some of the most common and self - evident signs of such relationships. Let us know about such reasons.

• Either of the partners is shutting down to the physical advances of the other partner. Although, stress and fatigue issues can be granted for loss of interest in between the sheets, a serious avoidance is a simple hint of something troubling your partner.
• Codependent relationships are unhealthy and they are the major reason for various troubled relationships.
• Conversation that earlier was accompanied by hugs, laughter and understanding is now replaced by anger, heated arguments, terse replies, avoidance or just a simple conversation.
• Poor interaction between partners. Reasons? Work pressures and lack of time. Obviously, too much separation is bound to create differences.
• Anxiety of your partner in his behavior, talking and actions will eventually make you understand he has some issues. Talk it at the earliest. The more you wait, the deeper grudges build up. Before it comes on to blame games, disillusionment and mud slinging, establish communication with your partner. Better be straight forward and say what you wish.
• Selfishness in a relationship is the another important reason leading to hosts of inconveniences in a relationship.
• Exercising too much control and expecting that your partner gives you an update of his 24 hours schedule, moment by moment, is certainly annoying. Showing control and instructing your partner every time can cause disruption in your trust and is one of the most common unhealthy relationship signs.
• Who says physical cheating is more intense form of infidelity than emotional cheating in a relationship? In fact, emotional separation is more deeper form of problem and if a partner is emotionally investing elsewhere, that is, he is unwilling to share his emotional needs with his partner, then what else would such steps lead to, other than deepening the crisis of troubled relationships.

It seems, if various relationship differences and problems are not enough, that married couples get involved in extramarital affairs and even, if once a trust breaks due to such incidents, it may be difficult to get it back. Trust in a relationship is such that it take years to build it and just few moments of madness can destroy it.

How to Save a Troubled Relationship?

Now, that we know some of the reasons (there can be many more) for troubled relationships, working upon the relationship to save it from ending is the next step we should take, if at all, it's possible.

Stick to the Basics
Firstly, love has been grossly misinterpreted by many of us and that is what leads to troubled relationships. Generally, love is understood be a wonderful, exciting and very strong feeling for a person. The moment we feel we have some strong feelings for an individual, we start getting in an assumption zone that we're in love. This is where we go wrong in building a strong foundation for lasting relationships. However, with time feelings naturally change and we stand surprised, if that was the same person we loved. Now, when this happens, people think that love is lost. However, the fact is that feelings are natural to change and it's quite normal. Then where did love disappear? Well, only if it was love, it wouldn't have disappeared! Love is confused to be a strong emotion and emotions will subside with time.

Love, in its truest form is not a very exciting emotion, rather it's a way of life. What we assume to be love is a mix of confusion between attachments and dependence. No doubt, things begin with some sort of attraction, however, for the relationship to thrive, genuine feelings and actions have to be there.

Real love is not a fluctuating phenomenon. It doesn't reject the other person based on needs. Love, indeed real love is supposed to be a harbinger of kindness, warmth and compassion. Love fosters virtues of patience and the individuals involved, grow with each other with every passing day. One completes the other and thereby, two individuals embark on the journey of life.

Mutual trust and respect for each other as individuals is the most important part of love. Love inspires you to be a better person, it creates a more fulfilling life. The word 'commitment' is indeed, a very wonderful word that encompasses some real virtues of human life. When we commit to a person, we must be beyond the mere idea of love. A very strong foundation is the key to healthy relationships.

Marriage and Relationship Counseling
For all couples facing serious problems of troubled relationships, it's a very genuine advice to seek relationship counseling. Many couples hesitate to go for marriage counseling or rather for a relationship counseling however, the matter of fact is that such counselings do help, especially for newly weds facing problems in their marriage.

Besides that, partners must firstly, get to the root of the problem. Since social structure in the recent years has become very complex owing to increasing stress in work and career, people have gone on a backseat when it comes to real commitment. If the couples are seriously concerned about saving the relationship, they must seek counseling. Experts have the ability to take you out of blame games and sort the issue.

Increasing divorce cases have confirmed the growing intolerance among people when it comes to long term relationships. Nevertheless, we can't sit back and blame external factors to end up our relationship. With patience and efforts, problems can be solved. Since every individual and his relationship issues are different, there can be no fixed answers for everyone, to save their relationship. Hence, counseling is very important. Even talking to seniors and parents, who have seen more summers than you, is a very bright idea.

Lastly, troubled relationships need not always be due to some misunderstandings or problems that can be solved. In cases of abusive relationships, even if relationship breakups occur, that is definitely for the good of the person. And in cases, where the relationship ends even due to efforts, one mustn't lose control over their life. However, it is easier said than done but ultimately we have no choice but to accept life, for better days, for better lives. And remember, we never fail in love, never ever. If you love, it never fails, it definitely grows you as a person. Thinking that after a break up you'll never find true love, is nothing but a broken heart that is trying to justify the incident. There is always hope, it is just about being at the right place, at the right time and with the right person. What resentments, grudges and negative feelings we experience after break ups is definitely a byproduct of our own miscalculations. Every experience always teaches us either something positive or negative, so keeping the balance is essential. If you have given your best in your relationship and it still didn't work, be proud of yourself and march ahead, a new life, a new dawn awaits you!