Too Deep

Can it ever really be filled again,
Once the heart runs out of the will to live
You can give and give and they'll all keep faking,
Hands outstretched begging for the taking.

I'm making this point to be clear,
But I speak in riddles so the simple can't hear
No fear, but this overwhelming doubt
Is consuming my thoughts as heart and soul shout.

I'm not about to stumble or crash down
Assuming I can hold my head and not drown.
I've found that this fire burns deep though
I thought I learned to control and not weep.

Talk is cheap, but idle chatters' free
And here lately that's all you'll get from me
Will she, truly understand my attempts
To reach out and be the bigger man.

Goddamn, this pain is unreal
To conquer, cover-up, and hide how I feel
The real deal is actually the breaker
As I question the plans of this "Almighty Maker".

And stranger times lie ahead though
Most of these walls are constraints of my own head
Brain dead and drama infused
Yet I still try to ponder why I'm so confused.

I've been used, cheated and denied,
Held my head in my hands and just cried
I've lied and been lied to,
And damn sure believed when the shit just wasn't true.

I'm so blue but I try to keep my head up,
Thoughts loud enough to wake the damn dead up
This get-up isn't a facade
I'm not a faker, phony or a fraud.

I applaud your attempt to try to break me,
But I'm too smart for that you can't shake me
Which takes me, back to the point,
It's cloudy in my head as if I smoked a joint

I anoint and proclaim my life to be stress-free
And forget the damn strife
Grab the knife and resolve to let go,
So if you're hearing this, you're the only one to know.