To Be Normal - Chapter 9 and Epilogue
I'm going to end it here. I like the way it turned out, and I'd really appreciate you all reading it!
Chapter 9
I gazed out my window as question after question shot out of Detective Turner's mouth. "Who are you? How are you related to a one Crystal Edwards? Did you hide her? Do you know where she is now? Can you tell us where to find her? Is she safe?" I wanted to laugh in his face as scream, "I'm her! You've ruined my life! Are you happy now? Is your amusement so important that I have to suffer? Do people really think I don't have emotions?" But I didn't.
"Miss Smith, we need this information. We need to find her," he said urgently.
Finally, I glanced up and spoke for the first time. "Why?" This startled him. It's amazing to see how people react when you tell them the unexpected.
"Why? Because she could be hurting right now. Honestly, I don't give a d*** that it's the famous Crystal Edwards that's missing. I'm doing my job. I don't care if it's her or some 80 year old woman from Minnesota that no one but her husband has heard of, I will find you." I'm not sure if it was the wording or what, but I felt as though he could see right through me.
"What if Crystal doesn't want to be found? What if she's perfectly content and happy just where she is? What if she's in more pain at home than wherever she is? I mean, she's almost eighteen years old. I know where she is, I keep in contact with her, so you know she's safe. She just wants to hide, to not be in the spotlight. Thanks to that b**** of a mother she has, everyone knows who she is and she is NEVER alone."
Tears streamed down my face. The last time I'd cried this hard was when I ran away. The detective just looked at me and nodded. "I'll agree with that. But think about her mother, and her friends, and her workers, and how everyone in the world is worried about her. Do you think that you could maybe convince her to just give a parting speech and then go back in hiding?"
"No. It's impossible. She looks so different. Even if she tried, someone would find out. I mean, look at how you found me. The world isn't safe for her," I answered.
"Look, Sarah, I know that you're Crystal. We've already gathered fingerprints. You'll learn that detectives aren't idiots. I'm willing to help you go back into hiding if you'll just put on a wig, get a fake tan and give a speech. It's not that much to ask for considering who you are." I nodded and less than two hours later I was on a plane on my way home writing a speech.
Have you ever noticed how the airport scenes in movies and books are so emotional and the parents, or siblings, or friends, or true loves embrace the character and never let go and it saves their relationship forever? That didn't happen. I was instead greeted by mounds of paparazzi, security guards, fans, and suddenly Rochette and my mother as well, though neither embraced me. In fact, they did quite the opposite by glaring at me and screaming at me as soon as we got in the car.
My silent tears never ceasing, I listened to their criticism and scratched at my wig, not even willing to show my mother my new identity. As the car pulled up to my house I ran inside without a word, just waiting to give my speech and go back to Hansel. Go back home.
Come six o'clock, I was ready with dark makeup to hide my pale face, and a sparkly green dress to try to draw the attention of the unnaturally white skin I had come to expect. Hollywood was no longer home, and in a sense never would be.
The limo pulled up and I stepped in, not even rehearsing my speech, just allowing myself to speak from my heart. My mother was the only other person in it besides the driver and she kept trying to "talk some sense" into me. In my opinion, the crazy one was her. Who would want to live in Hollywood? Who would choose this life? We finally arrived and I stepped out as dramatically as possible; trying to get my last bit of acting out.
I stepped up to the wooden podium with twenty microphones staring at my face, and twenty million staring at just me. Looking down at them, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Not quite sure whether to think of that as a good or bad thing, I just took a deep breath and began to talk, crying the whole time.
"Aloha, fans, haters, and ignores alike. I say aloha rather than hello for a very important reason. This is not me returning, but rather me leaving. Every end is just the beginning, you just can't quite see it. So hello to a new life and goodbye to an old one. Some of you might be wondering why exactly I'm leaving.
"This is because I am depressed being me. Not in a way that I would ever harm myself, but in a way that I can't stand anymore. For the past eighteen years I've been dictated by my mother, my writers, and all of you. I've never had a moment to be alone, or a real relationship, or friends. Privacy is not a right or a privilege to me because the media and fans are always there. I am not happy in the spotlight.
"So I am leaving. The reason why I was asked to give this speech in the first place is because I've been missing for a few months. I wasn't aware that it would get so out of hand, but I don't want anyone to worry, nor do I want anyone to find me. I want a chance to be free and do whatever pleases me instead of what pleases everyone else. I'm sure that you will all understand.
"I ask you all to be reasonable about this. Even my "number one" fans I have to ask to just forget about me. I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm happier now. I'm me. And no one can, or will ever again, take that from me. So when I get on a plane in a couple hours here, I will no longer be Crystal Edwards. I am going to be privately, but legally, changing my name.
"In short, I'm not happy, not returning, not trying, and restarting. I hope you all have amazing lives, and I wish you the very best. Always follow your dreams and be who you want to be. I understand the importance of that now than ever. Aloha!" And with that I was done. I got back on a plane and packed my bags to go to Hansel where my life was. Where everything was.
*******************************************************
Epilogue
"I love you," he whispered into my ear. I nuzzled closer to him.
"I love you too," I replied back.
It'd been a year since I'd moved to Hansel and life was better than ever. I had graduated high school with Honors and was planning to go to Kentucky University. Dylan and I had discussed the whole situation and we'd been together ever since. He was the only person in the world who knew who I was, and once he had calmed down, I realized that your first love is special.
I tried to forgive Vince, but somehow I just couldn't. Allie became pissed with me after that, and we barely spoke anymore. I've always wondered what would have happened if I would've told Vince somewhere else, or told Allie, or had fallen completely for Vince first, like I had with Dylan. But after having these thoughts I realize that what had happened needed to happen and that I was completely happy with how things turned out.
Next December Dylan and I are planning to move in together for a year before we get married, and then want to get settled with our jobs before having kids or anything. My degree was going to be in psychology and I was planning to become a therapist. What better way to spend the rest of my life than to help people who needed my knowledge and experience?
I suppose you could say that I finally got what I had asked for; to have a boyfriend, to have a friend, to experience life. I'd just wanted to be happy. Wasn't that what'd I'd asked for at my speech so long ago? Happiness had slowly made its way into my life, and for once, I felt in control. This decision was the best I'd ever made, and I wouldn't take it back for the world, even with all the heartbreak and pain. I'd finally gotten what I wanted, what I deserved. To be normal.
I gazed out my window as question after question shot out of Detective Turner's mouth. "Who are you? How are you related to a one Crystal Edwards? Did you hide her? Do you know where she is now? Can you tell us where to find her? Is she safe?" I wanted to laugh in his face as scream, "I'm her! You've ruined my life! Are you happy now? Is your amusement so important that I have to suffer? Do people really think I don't have emotions?" But I didn't.
"Miss Smith, we need this information. We need to find her," he said urgently.
Finally, I glanced up and spoke for the first time. "Why?" This startled him. It's amazing to see how people react when you tell them the unexpected.
"Why? Because she could be hurting right now. Honestly, I don't give a d*** that it's the famous Crystal Edwards that's missing. I'm doing my job. I don't care if it's her or some 80 year old woman from Minnesota that no one but her husband has heard of, I will find you." I'm not sure if it was the wording or what, but I felt as though he could see right through me.
"What if Crystal doesn't want to be found? What if she's perfectly content and happy just where she is? What if she's in more pain at home than wherever she is? I mean, she's almost eighteen years old. I know where she is, I keep in contact with her, so you know she's safe. She just wants to hide, to not be in the spotlight. Thanks to that b**** of a mother she has, everyone knows who she is and she is NEVER alone."
Tears streamed down my face. The last time I'd cried this hard was when I ran away. The detective just looked at me and nodded. "I'll agree with that. But think about her mother, and her friends, and her workers, and how everyone in the world is worried about her. Do you think that you could maybe convince her to just give a parting speech and then go back in hiding?"
"No. It's impossible. She looks so different. Even if she tried, someone would find out. I mean, look at how you found me. The world isn't safe for her," I answered.
"Look, Sarah, I know that you're Crystal. We've already gathered fingerprints. You'll learn that detectives aren't idiots. I'm willing to help you go back into hiding if you'll just put on a wig, get a fake tan and give a speech. It's not that much to ask for considering who you are." I nodded and less than two hours later I was on a plane on my way home writing a speech.
Have you ever noticed how the airport scenes in movies and books are so emotional and the parents, or siblings, or friends, or true loves embrace the character and never let go and it saves their relationship forever? That didn't happen. I was instead greeted by mounds of paparazzi, security guards, fans, and suddenly Rochette and my mother as well, though neither embraced me. In fact, they did quite the opposite by glaring at me and screaming at me as soon as we got in the car.
My silent tears never ceasing, I listened to their criticism and scratched at my wig, not even willing to show my mother my new identity. As the car pulled up to my house I ran inside without a word, just waiting to give my speech and go back to Hansel. Go back home.
Come six o'clock, I was ready with dark makeup to hide my pale face, and a sparkly green dress to try to draw the attention of the unnaturally white skin I had come to expect. Hollywood was no longer home, and in a sense never would be.
The limo pulled up and I stepped in, not even rehearsing my speech, just allowing myself to speak from my heart. My mother was the only other person in it besides the driver and she kept trying to "talk some sense" into me. In my opinion, the crazy one was her. Who would want to live in Hollywood? Who would choose this life? We finally arrived and I stepped out as dramatically as possible; trying to get my last bit of acting out.
I stepped up to the wooden podium with twenty microphones staring at my face, and twenty million staring at just me. Looking down at them, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Not quite sure whether to think of that as a good or bad thing, I just took a deep breath and began to talk, crying the whole time.
"Aloha, fans, haters, and ignores alike. I say aloha rather than hello for a very important reason. This is not me returning, but rather me leaving. Every end is just the beginning, you just can't quite see it. So hello to a new life and goodbye to an old one. Some of you might be wondering why exactly I'm leaving.
"This is because I am depressed being me. Not in a way that I would ever harm myself, but in a way that I can't stand anymore. For the past eighteen years I've been dictated by my mother, my writers, and all of you. I've never had a moment to be alone, or a real relationship, or friends. Privacy is not a right or a privilege to me because the media and fans are always there. I am not happy in the spotlight.
"So I am leaving. The reason why I was asked to give this speech in the first place is because I've been missing for a few months. I wasn't aware that it would get so out of hand, but I don't want anyone to worry, nor do I want anyone to find me. I want a chance to be free and do whatever pleases me instead of what pleases everyone else. I'm sure that you will all understand.
"I ask you all to be reasonable about this. Even my "number one" fans I have to ask to just forget about me. I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm happier now. I'm me. And no one can, or will ever again, take that from me. So when I get on a plane in a couple hours here, I will no longer be Crystal Edwards. I am going to be privately, but legally, changing my name.
"In short, I'm not happy, not returning, not trying, and restarting. I hope you all have amazing lives, and I wish you the very best. Always follow your dreams and be who you want to be. I understand the importance of that now than ever. Aloha!" And with that I was done. I got back on a plane and packed my bags to go to Hansel where my life was. Where everything was.
*******************************************************
Epilogue
"I love you," he whispered into my ear. I nuzzled closer to him.
"I love you too," I replied back.
It'd been a year since I'd moved to Hansel and life was better than ever. I had graduated high school with Honors and was planning to go to Kentucky University. Dylan and I had discussed the whole situation and we'd been together ever since. He was the only person in the world who knew who I was, and once he had calmed down, I realized that your first love is special.
I tried to forgive Vince, but somehow I just couldn't. Allie became pissed with me after that, and we barely spoke anymore. I've always wondered what would have happened if I would've told Vince somewhere else, or told Allie, or had fallen completely for Vince first, like I had with Dylan. But after having these thoughts I realize that what had happened needed to happen and that I was completely happy with how things turned out.
Next December Dylan and I are planning to move in together for a year before we get married, and then want to get settled with our jobs before having kids or anything. My degree was going to be in psychology and I was planning to become a therapist. What better way to spend the rest of my life than to help people who needed my knowledge and experience?
I suppose you could say that I finally got what I had asked for; to have a boyfriend, to have a friend, to experience life. I'd just wanted to be happy. Wasn't that what'd I'd asked for at my speech so long ago? Happiness had slowly made its way into my life, and for once, I felt in control. This decision was the best I'd ever made, and I wouldn't take it back for the world, even with all the heartbreak and pain. I'd finally gotten what I wanted, what I deserved. To be normal.
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