This Heart

I thought I was done thinking about
*THIS.
You had so many plans for us, but they proved
To be empty and foolish fantasies. My
*HEART
Had never been this full and heavy before,
Of newly found anger and hurt, instead of the
Love I thought we’d share forever. It
*HAS
Been destroyed. Gone. Shut out. Forever. If
This is what love feels like, I never want to
Experience it again. The infatuation was great
In the beginning, but your stubbornness took over,
*ONE
Fight turned into hundreds. You knew I was right,
You knew you could’ve just agreed; and the love,
The passion, the fervor, everything we had, might’ve
Still been alive today... But your pride ranked higher
Than my love. You were the beginning, that first
*CRACK
That I would later watch turn into an entire earthquake.
Helpless to stop it, like watching a heartbreaking
Movie and not being able to find at least the stop
Button, much less being able to rewrite it. I surrendered
To you and your ways, but in the end it wasn’t enough. Your
Love was the only thing I knew, but it came with requirements,
*TOO
Many, too pointless, too restricting. I loved you, I hated
You, doubted you, doubted us. You were the thing I
Couldn’t live without, the thing that I dreaded leaving.
Because every time I left, it was filled with scarring
Proclamations, words that you gave no second thought to,
While I stayed up on them. One thing is for sure, one of
The only sure things in our relationship: Out of the not-so-
*MANY,
You are the one I can’t love with or live without.