As I write this, I can see a spate of both, men and women, whine about their marriage woes. Its funny, because all of them were in love (with their respective partners) at one point of time. So, what happened? Well, it was a lot like love, probably. Matches may be made in heaven, but marriages are made here, on earth, by testing compatibility. In the beginning of every relationship, every moment of it seems hunky-dory. Precisely, in these rosy times, a couples plunges into a wedlock, locking their destinies forever, and thus entering into a joint venture for life. A marriage is a joint venture with added romance. If the articles of association, and the memorandum of understanding aren't framed well before entering this venture, it is a sure recipe for tumultuous ride till the end.
Ability to Adjust
As mentioned earlier, each partner in the early phase of the relationship, is willing to make the adjustments. However, if it is always one person, who cuts the slack, the other person begins to take this gesture for granted. Gradually, these adjustments become unfitting sacrifices as opposed to informed decisions or voluntary compromises. For instance, the man in the relationship may like to watch football over the weekends and the woman may want to stick to her regular opera shows. Fight over the remote control and TV hours are quite common in every household. Each partner must tone down habits willingly, in order to make things workout. But, when issues such as these become the focal point of any relationships, then it slow begins to crumble. If you are willing to take a plunge to be lawfully wedded, you need to know the measure of other person's willingness too.
A marriage definitely does not work on the lines of 'my money is my money, and your money is also my money'. Amongst all the things to consider money is a sensitive aspect. Your partner may be materialistic, stingy, spendthrift, or conservative about money matters. These behavioral characteristics do not show up at an early stage, but begin to creep in by the end of six to seven months of a married relationship. It important that you clarify your views about money to your partner, before tying a knot. A marriage brings added responsibilities of children, in-laws, homemaking, and other expenses. Meeting all these requirements with a non-cooperative partner can be an uphill climb. Hence, establish the inclination of financial management before you take a step ahead in the relationship.
Men can be very messy partners to live with. Men are inherently disorganized, right from stocks to socks. A counseling session before the wedding can help you understand your partner's viewpoint. If cleanliness is your thing, then figure out 'who cleans what' rules, and experiment with them well in time. The best way to share cleaning schedule is to take weekly rotations. If cleaning is your thing, it does not mean that's the only thing that you'd do. Thus, address the importance of cleaning, before the state becomes deplorable.
In-laws are forlorn battles in every household, and especially during the holiday season. Questions of where are the holidays supposed to be spent and how long are in-laws supposed to be staying over, can become long drawn arguments with your husband or wife, after getting married. If you are not the 'family loving type', strike a clear understanding with your better half to maintain healthy family ties in the long run.
Even though these issues may come across as ones that can be resolved with a tinge of common sense, they often get subdued when you're deeply in love and are willing to overlook certain discrepancies. Its imperative that communication and respect is well maintained in a relationship to make it last forever.