These Memories

These memories won't erase
What I've done is a disgrace
And I cant take it back
But I'm getting my life on track

And what they did to me
Was not care enough to see
The signs of abuse
Until it was too late

And I had started cutting
And purging or skipping meals
To make my body hurt
Along with my mind

I woke up with the urge to cut myself so much
I would have 200 slits up my arm
Like I used to have to cover up with long sleeves and socks
That I cut up because that was the style

That was my style
I dreamt I was in johns arms
And for that moment I was happy
And the sun was shining

I was smiling a real smile
And for once life looked amazing
Then I woke up to the dull dreary silence of nothingness
My life in black and white

And a tear fell down my face
Because I miss them
My dreams.