The 21st Century Player
Little Black Book has a whole new meaning.
Is this guy for real? I think to myself as I sit across from my coworker Dave in the small communal kitchen of our downtown office. He is very openly and unabashedly explaining to me his unconventional dating techniques. His hook and bait routine.
Being in sales, it is all relative to Dave; getting a new client or getting a new girl. The mental manipulation Dave will use to get the results he is looking for is immoral and wrong. Yet he delivers his strategies to me with the wide eyed excitement of a child with a golden pass to the front of every line at an amusement park, that I can’t even dislike him for it.
When meeting a girl for the first time that he finds attractive, say at a night club, Dave will immediately pay attention to her friend. Leaving the poor unsuspecting woman to wonder why he would be interested in her less attractive friend than in her. He would then continue to pay attention to ‘not so good looking friend’ and casually throw tiny light hearted compliments to the woman to which he is actually interested in. Like throwing scraps to a starving dog.
This plays on the woman’s insecurities as well as her sense of territory. She asks herself why he likes her friend more than her. Why he’s giving her pity compliments and how can she get him to fall for her instead just to prove to herself that she is the prettier friend. And the game is on. However, not for long because Dave has a rule never to date anyone for longer than three months. That is when the buzz wears off, he explains.
Being a very good sales man, Dave discovered that the contact management software he uses everyday to keep track of his clients and prospects could also be used to keep track of the ladies. He’s like an evil mastermind who instead of being interested in conquering the world, is only interested in conquering women. I am simultaneously offended and in awe by his complete lack of reproach on the matter.
Dave goes on to tell me that he keeps this contact management database of women he has dated in the past or wants to date easily accessible via his Blackberry. Under each of their names is a list of notes ranging from their favorite flowers and restaurants to the names of their immediate family and friends. Anything he would need to know to look like he cared enough about them to remember. Any woman would tell you that he would come off as a sweetheart if she got a call from him with some lame excuse for not hearing from him in months and in the same conversation asked how her little dog Fifi was doing. He’d have himself a date.
I asked Dave if he ever came out with the truth once he’d bagged his catch. He said that he once told a girl how he manipulated her into dating him and she didn’t take it very well - he has the scars to prove it. Poor Dave had to remove her from his Contact Manager altogether. Very innocently Dave explained how his techniques are just a means to an end. Boy likes girl. Girl doesn’t notice boy. Boy mind f’s her into thinking she wants him and they both live happily ever after…well, for three months at least.
Being in sales, it is all relative to Dave; getting a new client or getting a new girl. The mental manipulation Dave will use to get the results he is looking for is immoral and wrong. Yet he delivers his strategies to me with the wide eyed excitement of a child with a golden pass to the front of every line at an amusement park, that I can’t even dislike him for it.
When meeting a girl for the first time that he finds attractive, say at a night club, Dave will immediately pay attention to her friend. Leaving the poor unsuspecting woman to wonder why he would be interested in her less attractive friend than in her. He would then continue to pay attention to ‘not so good looking friend’ and casually throw tiny light hearted compliments to the woman to which he is actually interested in. Like throwing scraps to a starving dog.
This plays on the woman’s insecurities as well as her sense of territory. She asks herself why he likes her friend more than her. Why he’s giving her pity compliments and how can she get him to fall for her instead just to prove to herself that she is the prettier friend. And the game is on. However, not for long because Dave has a rule never to date anyone for longer than three months. That is when the buzz wears off, he explains.
Being a very good sales man, Dave discovered that the contact management software he uses everyday to keep track of his clients and prospects could also be used to keep track of the ladies. He’s like an evil mastermind who instead of being interested in conquering the world, is only interested in conquering women. I am simultaneously offended and in awe by his complete lack of reproach on the matter.
Dave goes on to tell me that he keeps this contact management database of women he has dated in the past or wants to date easily accessible via his Blackberry. Under each of their names is a list of notes ranging from their favorite flowers and restaurants to the names of their immediate family and friends. Anything he would need to know to look like he cared enough about them to remember. Any woman would tell you that he would come off as a sweetheart if she got a call from him with some lame excuse for not hearing from him in months and in the same conversation asked how her little dog Fifi was doing. He’d have himself a date.
I asked Dave if he ever came out with the truth once he’d bagged his catch. He said that he once told a girl how he manipulated her into dating him and she didn’t take it very well - he has the scars to prove it. Poor Dave had to remove her from his Contact Manager altogether. Very innocently Dave explained how his techniques are just a means to an end. Boy likes girl. Girl doesn’t notice boy. Boy mind f’s her into thinking she wants him and they both live happily ever after…well, for three months at least.
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