The Ultimate Tips for Talking to Your Ex

Contacting your ex girlfriend is easy: you know where she is, and how to do it. But when should you? And how long after the break up should you be talking again? These are great questions. The answers will determine how successful you are in getting your ex back again, and how quickly you do it, too.

Most guys think that speaking to an ex every day is the quickest way into her heart. Not true. The fact is that any friendship-type contact you have with your exgirlfriend is ultimately sabotaging your chances of getting back together. All your daily updates, text messages just to "say hi", emails asking how she's doing each day... these are destroying your chances of dating your ex again. You're working your way downward, moving away from her romantically, and rapidly entering the black hole known as The Friend Zone - from which there's little chance of escape! Even worse, you're doing it cheerfully, as if keeping in touch with her is a wonderful thing.

If you want your ex back, you need to get her to miss you. The good news is that this is very easy to accomplish. The bad news is that it will be difficult for you emotionally, because it requires you to leave your exgirlfriend alone for a while. Most guys fail at this task, which is why they fail at winning back a girlfriend. In an effort to remain in their girlfriend's lives, even playing a smaller and more insignificant part, they're actually shooting themselves in the foot. Their chances diminish as each week goes by, until finally they have to endure the pain of "being friends" with their ex while watching their girlfriend date someone else.

Snap out of it. Making your ex miss you is as simple as going away. Stop calling her, stop texting her, and for God's sake stop writing on her Facebook wall. All that friendly crap you've been doing has gotten you nowhere, so it's time to shake things up a little.

If you want your ex back in your arms, you need to create a situation where she's wondering where the hell you went... and wondering why you've suddenly disappeared. When she calls you, don't answer. When she emails you, don't respond. When she leaves a message on your answering machine, Facebook, or MySpace account... don't acknowledge it. In fact, don't even log into your social networking or email sites at all. Unplug yourself and go outside for a while.

The sudden mystery of your disappearance will make your ex very interested in you again. She'll be curious as to where you are, what you're doing, and who you happen to be with. This is where you go out, have a great time, see friends, and throw your phone over your shoulder. Keep a strict policy of no contact with your ex. Concentrate on yourself for a while, and enjoy it. In the long run, know that it's going to help you get back together with your girlfriend.

When the time finally does come to reestablish a connection with your ex, you need to do it correctly. By now she's emailed or called you, or at least asked friends to find out where you were. Give her a call, out of the blue, and make sure you keep it short and sweet.

"Hey, how's things? Sorry I've been hard to reach, things have been really busy over here. What's going on?"

In talking to your ex for the first time in a long while, don't ask too many questions. Let her do the talking. She's going to be curious, and she'll want answers! Make sure you don't give her too many. You want to leave your ex wanting more, so there will be room for more calls or meetings. In fact, be extremely vague with what you've been doing, and who you've been doing it with. Don't feel the need to explain anything to your ex - the less you say the better. And after two or three minutes?

"Look, I've got to get going, but it was good to hear from you again. Maybe we can hook up for lunch or something and talk some more. Give me a call next week? This week's jammed."

Examine what just happened here. You got her interested, called her out of the blue, and didn't give any solid answers. Instead of chasing her you made it seem like you're ready to fly out the door. Instead of more phone banter, you offered a casual lunch meeting to talk some more. But you made it for next week, because you're way too busy to see her right away. And if you don't get to see her next week? No big deal. Because to her, it doesn't sound like you're sweating her in the least. In fact, she's lucky if you can fit her into your busy schedule.

As she hangs up with you, guess what? You've just become the opposite of desperate. In just a few short sentences, you let her know that your life has moved on. You're not that lame, clingy exboyfriend trying desperately to be friends with his ex, hanging onto any form of contact possible. You're the busy, driven, and suddenly mysterious guy that she used to date... and might just date again. By keeping things distant and casual, you've greatly increased your chances of getting back together with your ex. If she wants you back even the slightest bit, she's going to need to do it quickly, because you might not be available for long.

Women love men who are strong, confident, and have stuff going on. Become that man, and she's going to be instantly attracted to you again. It's the fastest way back into her heart.

There are many other great techniques for getting your ex back. For the complete, 8-Step guide to reversing a breakup, be sure to check out How To Get Back An Ex Girlfriend!