The Twin Forces - Parents and Teachers

The modern educational methods recognize the great significance of the coordinated concerted effort on the part of the parent and the teacher in the development of the Child. The collective wisdom that emanates from such dialogues educated both the educators - the parents and the teacher. The teacher comes into close contact with the parent's experiences with the child and the parents educate themselves about the intricacies of the Montessori method. This becomes possible only when we Montessorians take the int-ital step. Even though such meetings are the responsibility of both parties it would be practical if the directress in a Montessori House of Children organized and convened such parent-teacher meetings.

This deals with such meetings with a hope of offering inspiration and some pragmatic clues to bring to fruition parent-teacher discussions in House of Children. These group discussions should become spontaneous, individual and purposeful. Parent discussion group is a cultural exchange effort.

In order to start we need to decide on some of the following criteria. How often we will have the meetings - which days, timings and (A routine stipulated time will be helpful, duration, For example - Every Saturday or the first Friday of every month etc.) This may relieve the necessity of informing members every time.

Would you want to make ti compulsory for all parents or extend invitations only? Even if the attendance is low to start with we make the meetings lively. A group discussion even with few members has its value.

Would the meeting have to be in the school only or could we meet at some parent's house or houses in turn? The host could be given the responsibility of introductions, refreshments and other general arrangements. While introductions are made we may encourage individual and family introduction if more than one member from the same family are present. Practical information about location of telephone, drinking water, toilet etc could be given by the host and so the responsibilities divided. A vote of thanks may also be proposed by the host.

Determine the topics you will discuss in the course of the meetings. A schedule made for the year can ensure a cursory coverage of all the important aspects. Short write-ups may be prepared. These are distributed to the parents earlier so that they can come prepared for the discussion of the day. While preparing such short notes we could also include a few topical questions. The discussions could start by the leader giving a short summary. The role for the leader is not to lecture but keep the discussion going and eliciting as many answers a possible by asking parents to narrate their experiences more vividly. At the same time we take care not to compel those who have nothing to say. Care also should be taken not to digress form the main theme.

It may be noticed that questions sometimes are leading and sometimes follow up. Again they could be theoretical leading to discussion of the principles of Montessori. Or they may be more personal and thought provoking relating to the application of the principles.

The leader should not feel nervous about the silences or pauses between questions and answers. It is wise to realize good thought processes take some time and discussions interpolated with thinking is healthy and fruitful.

The leader should be capable of combining experiences with the theoretical aspects of the Montessori method.

The leader must realize that every meeting should not and need not have the same format or pattern. This may lead to the leader taking various stands at various times. The Montessorians any find himself adamantly defending the Child and interpreting him very zealously. This may sound strong and make parents feel uncomfortable. The meeting may end in their feeling a sense of remorse and guilt. Montessorians should attempt to alleviate such feelings. Children sense and benefit by good intentions even if the actions are not purely Montessorian. It is good to help the parents feel that mistakes realized will help in us learn and we may use the opportunity to grow and mature.

Occasionally the leader may give a short lecture on a special topic or philosophy of the Montessori method a applicable to all stages of human development. Sometimes it may be a presentation of a developmental activity.

Role of Parents

Parents should understand that they are the first and foremost educators and remain so throughout the life of a human being. Parents are educators by nature and appointed by God. The educational institutions are subordinate and limited and so rely on the parents involvement. They ought to realize that the Montessori environment is not a place where you can get rid of the children for some time.

Dr. Montessori says in her Absorbent Mind, "Nature inspires both parents with love for their little ones and this love is not artificial. The love we find in infancy show what kind of love should reign ideally in the grown up world, a love able, of its won nature to inspire sacrifice, the dedication of one ego to another ego, of one's self to the service of others. In the depth of this love parents renounce their own lives to dedicate them to children. And this devotion is natural to them. It gives them joy and does not feel sacrificial. the efforts parents make for their children are a part of parenthood itself. The child awakens what adults think of as ideal; the deal of renunciation, of unselfishness, virtues almost unreachable outside family life."

So the leader should be capable of helping parents understand how important and significant they are in the development of the child and how this needs to be treated with consciousness and commitment. The leader should be able to impress how the school can only augment the process. But by sharing the experience we learn from the Child and endeavor to follow him.

Some Sample Questions

Prepared Environment: The prepared notes may mention about the importance of the environment in the development of living beings and specially prepared environments are vital to human development. It may deal with why environments should be prepared for answering the needs of the particular stage of development.

1. • Did you have to change the home environment when you expected children to arrive? Why?
   • Were they designed to suit our managing children or to suit the child's needs?
2. • Would you like to change the home so that the child cannot change anything?
   • What do you do if the child climbs on the made-up bed
   • Shall we remove the expensive things out of his reach?
   • Do we remove different things according to the age - the infant, toddler, school-goer?
   • What do you do when a child uses a toy for a throw and catch game?
   • What do we do if he does not come to the dining table at the sound of gong but still is immersed in his work/play?
3. What does Montessori mean when she says that the child has his needs answered by things specially made for him to be active with?
4. Are expensive toys preferable to cheap ones? Why?
5. What is desirable to have in a child's room?
6. What about activities which are considered dangerous (use of matchsticks, knives, scissors, glass etc.)
   • Should we help children understand the possibility of danger?
   • Should we be positive about it or negative?
   • How can we do this positively?
7. How independent would you like your child to be? In what areas? Would you have different standards for boys and girls?

The above list should serve only as a starter and should not be considered exhaustive. The concerned person can prepare his/her own questions in the different areas of activity (Sensorial activities, Language, Arithmetic etc).

In view of the leading questions having different types of follow-up questions it would be worthwhile to keep a record of the group discussions we have at the meetings.

We hope that this would help parents and teachers join hands tightly and constructively and thereby strengthen the Montessori approach to Child Development.