The Return of the Jabberwocky (Sort of)

Caution: This story is not an immediate continuation, and the style and presentation are a little different, with a little more service to story.

Part 2

They were all dead. All of them. But those poor germs didn’t have to die. That was it. Phil was never washing his hands again. That kind of massacre was exactly what he was trying to avoid. But he just couldn’t keep his hands out of the Muck. The mysterious Muck. It seemed so joyful and inviting, until it pulled you in and didn’t let go. But those colors. And the smell. So good…

FWASHUGA! Phil’s nose fell off. He put it back on. Must’ve been the Muck.

Ever since he found the Muck in the toilet he had become possessed by it. He was so mesmerized by the texture and the taste that he was blind to the pain it was causing everyone else. But the Muck wouldn’t let him tell anyone. If Phil started to betray the Muck’s identity his tongue would swell up and turn green. It was like a poison, slowly killing him, keeping him prisoner. He had to rebel, but the Muck was all-knowing. It knew what Phil was thinking and what Phil was going to do. If it sensed that Phil was feeling traitorous it would send out its midget minion, who would ambush people and shove them into the magical closets that swapped their brains to make them think that they were someone else with different thoughts and objectives. Ever since the Muck had found a source from which it could feed, the school had become an evil dungeon from which no one could escape.

And now Phil was sitting in his quarters, listening to the radio.

"I am Bill. Bill the Zookeeper!" said Bill the Zookeeper.

Bill the Zookeeper was an odd show that was broadcast on the radio, because the producer’s budget couldn’t afford it to be a TV show, or even a decent radio show.

"Gee whiz! I knew you’d show up!" said an anonymous child.

"Well, I showed up, so there!"

"Yeah! Now go stop the evil Eggnoggertron!"

"What?"

"I said: Go stop the evil Eggnoggertron!"

"Who?"

"The evil Eggnoggertron!"

"I uhh…I uhh…I get paid to do this?"

"No! You do it because you stand up for goodness and soft served ice cream!"

"I…no I don’t! Who told you this? Who is your source?!?!!"

"Glagh!"

There was a sound effect of vomiting, then a bunch of fuzz.

ZOOOOOOB! A guy materialized out of thin air and landed on his face.

"Whoa nelly! Who are you?" Phil questioned the dude lying on his face.

The guy got up. His nose was upside down and bleeding profusely. "My name is Fredrico. I am being hunted by a fat midget. Do you think you could help me?" said Fredrico.

"I’m not sure if I can help you. The midget… he is the Muck’s minion. He will stop at nothing to lodge you in a magical closet. If that happens, all is lost…for you that is. The Muck is a relentless force that has poisoned this school. There is no escape. Unless we figure out a way to defeat the Muck, the midget will find us…you…and we will stand no chance. Unless you happen upon me again. Which is unlikely. So, if it is help you want, then we must work together to coordinate a plan to destroy the Muck forever. Do you think you can do that?" Phil said.

"I’ll try. First, we need to find out this…Muck’s…weaknesses. Then we can use his weaknesses against him to defeat him," Fredrico told Phil.

"Well, I think the Muck is allergic to chili powder, and maybe kittens…no, caterpillars, definitely," Phil said vacantly.

"You don’t know do you? Well, then we’ll have to find out. I think we should start by getting a stool sample from the Muck"

"A stool sample!?!?!? I’m not quite sure even the Muck knows which end is which. And how do you expect do get that close? I mean – does the Muck even dump? I mean…I think it is a dump! I found him in the toilet you know. What if it eats dump? First we need to find out what this Muck even is!"

"…Okay. I was just suggesting a starting point. But, if you’re not sure what the Muck even is…then we should find that out first. That – that might be helpful."

So Fredrico and Phil set out to observe the Muck in its natural habitat. The Muck resided in one of the bathrooms in the basement. The Muck was basically just a huge pile of goop that pulsated at regular intervals. Occasionally it would release a corrosive acid that would make a bigger hole for its ever-expanding girth.

"Oh! And one thing before you begin your observation. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TOUCH THE MUCK. It will poison you just as it has poisoned me. Since it has corrupted my mind I cannot do anything against the Muck’s will. But you are pure. You can defeat him because he hasn’t corrupted you yet. Now, start making observation as to its weaknesses," Phil said to Fredrico.

And so Fredrico observed. He did it for a long time. He was completely silent until he randomly burst out, "How do you know it’s a male?"

"Uhh…well I just assumed…Typically bad guys are…well…guys…I guess," Phil said uncertainly.

"Just wondering…because I think it’s giving birth," Fredrico said calmly.

"G—wha—giving birth! That can’t be!"

From inside a mysterious opening in the Muck was an emerging fetus-like being.

"Oh no! It’s the Jabberwockies!"

FIN (just to make you mad)