The Real Reason Behind Sex-Related Performance Anxiety

Sex-related performance anxiety is the cause for a large percentage of erectile disorders faced by males today. Foremost thoughts driving this anxiety include "am I 'too short'", "am I 'too thin'", "will she get hurt by me?', "will she enjoy herself?", "I fear I cannot pleasure her", "I fear I cannot last", "her ex-boyfriend was a real stud, and I'm not", "I can't believe she want to sleep with me", "I don't want to spoil a friendly relationship", etc. All of these thoughts stem from negative self-talk, self-esteem and self-image.

In spite of the backgrounds behind the various causes of sexual performance anxiety, it is crucial to exercise some form of mental compartmentalization. This could mean, being able to properly segregate the significance of a 10-year friendship, and a 10-minute sexy-time. Naturally, that does not come easy. The male needs to understand a very fundamental concept when it comes to sex- his partner's open-ness to developing a sexual relationship means that she ultimately finds him attractive, in some way. A female's attraction toward a male in spite of special knowledge that he is sexually inexperienced further indicates her interest in him, and also shows that she is prepared for, and does not mind the worst.

The male facing sexual performance anxiety needs to be self-affirmative. Positive affirmations, better yet coupled with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), should include the following positive statements:

"Even though I am a newbie to sex, and would most likely not perform like a stud, I totally and completely love and accept myself."

"Even though she is aware that I am a newbie to sex, and would most likely not perform like a stud, her interest to sleep with me shows that she totally and completely loves and accepts me."

"Even though I may not have the biggest/smallest penis in the world, I totally and completely love and accept myself."

"Even though she is more sexually experienced than I am, because she loves me, there are no expectations I need to worry about meeting".

"Even though I may not have more sexual experience, my relationship with my loved ones is far more satisfying than any amount of sexual pleasure any human can give them. "

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