The Psychology of Asexuality

When one switches on the idiot box, the first few glimpses seen are invariably of skimpily dressed women serenading about or topless men with perfect physiques flexing their muscles. Reality shows that showcase more of such scenes are proven to have better rankings. And the reason is quite simple - viewers like watching good looking people on television, because to a certain extent, it arouses them. However, what if you're sitting next to a person and he says he doesn't feel the least bit of interest in what is going on? Don't you haste in labeling him a 'weirdo' or 'freak'? This is because we assume that sex and sexuality are a bare necessity for men.

Well, perhaps it is time we delved into a topic which has very little awareness and an unfortunate amount of opinionated ignorance surrounding it - asexuality. A lot of egotistical self-opinionated people claim, it 'does not exist' and people who claim to be asexual are simply mentally unstable or are people with perverted sexual fantasies that don't come true. This is a very strong and untrue accusation. Asexuality does indeed exist, and it is not a medical condition or a disorder that requires help. Most people agree that there are differing sexual inclinations and tendencies like homosexuality, heterosexuality or bisexuality. They don't even consider asexuality as a category! But times are changing and people need to wake up and stretch their thinking a little more to try and understand the psychology of asexuality.

As such there is no standard asexual definition. However asexuality is a condition that can be defined as one where a person feels no sexual attraction. He is said to be asexual when he (or she) has no sexual preference. These are accepted asexual definitions.

Asexuality is prevalent in humans. But this does not include people who are on a self-imposed celibacy or abstinence spree (mostly for religious purposes, like priests and saints) or people who are sexually unsatisfied and hence have given up on sex (as these people are often seen to be depressed and will willingly indulge in sex if assured satisfaction). Asexuality also does not refer to people who are impotent, that is people who cannot perform the sexual act as against people who do not want to indulge in sexual contact. Similarly, a person cannot claim to be asexual, if he or she is on drugs, which significantly lower the sex drive till they are taken.

There are no documented 'reasons' or asexuality causes that can be pointed out. Frankly speaking, there needn't be one. But there have been certain causes that have been attributed towards people who have an increased tendency towards being asexuals. One of those speculated reasons is the medical condition of Asperger's syndrome. This condition is a type of autism, where people show difficulty in social interaction. Although this condition is not very prevalent in the general population, a good number of asexuals show Asperger's syndrome. Another common finding in asexuals is that a good number of them claim to be 'intersex' that is they are neither male nor female. This condition is mostly genetic and occurs due to many factors like, 'X' chromosome in males (this is called Klinefelter's syndrome and their genetic make-up is XXY), or a missing 'X' chromosome in females (this condition is called Turner's syndrome and their genetic make-up is XO). However, these people are still voluntarily asexual, and are not asexual merely because they are 'confused' as it is often misconceived.

Also, asexuality does not render a person heartless, as it is commonly believed. Just because a person is asexual does not mean that he or she is made of stone and is incapable of loving. They still have feelings, and in fact can be very romantic people capable of maintaining healthy relationships, but the only difference is that they do not wish to indulge in physical sexual contact.

Hence, here was an overview of the psychology of asexuality and the common myths surrounding it. In the end, one should understand that it is a personal choice and not a disorder. So go ahead and celebrate your asexuality, because at the end of the day, we live in a free world and no one has the right to point a finger at anyone else for what he or she is. Like Antoine de Saint-Exupery said 'I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind'.