The Pathway to Self Confidence

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." To start feeling good about yourself, try thinking back to the moments in your life when you felt happy and proud. The process of taking control of your own thoughts, is the fastest way to abolish feelings of insecurity. The right amount of self-assuredness is necessary to achieving happiness and fulfillment.

If you are like most, and care how others view you, keep in mind that people can detect your level of confidence, as soon as you enter a room. The way you walk, talk and use eye contact, tells a lot about who you are and what you think of yourself. When it comes to words, it's not just what you say, but how you say it.

You don't have to be born with "certified self-assured" stamped on your brain. It's like most other things in life, it can be practiced, mentally, over and over until one day it sticks. If you feel you suffer from an inferiority complex, there are tricks to finding the brand-new, full of confidence, you!

1. Make a list of all the things you have learned and mastered over the years. Re-read each item and think about each one. Are you confident that you can pass that exam back in 2004, now, in 2009? How did you feel back then? Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness that leads to self-doubt. If you look at your list of accomplishments, chances are you questioned your ability to achieve most of them. But remember, you did!


2. Do something you have been putting off. If you are a chronic list maker, go nuts a few days and get everything off your list; you know how great you will feel. For the right-brainers, try writing in a journal, call a friend you haven't spoken to in years, clean your condo, finish the book you started, or make a healthy meal. If you are feeling bad about yourself, sitting on the sofa is going to make you feel more useless and inadequate. Get up and do something. Accomplishment breads confidence!

3. Take care of you. Get a haircut or buy a new outfit that makes you look great. Silly little things like this often lend to a fresh boost, leading to a slight renewed sense of self. Getting in the gym is also important and has a little longer esteem-heightening effect. Whether you need to drop a couple pounds or just want to feel strong and toned, working out on a regular basis is the answer. Properly taking care of your skin is another big one, especially for women. If you battle with acne, get on a blemish blasting skin care system that works. Pimples can be esteem killers. The same can be said for wrinkles.

4. 
Do things you are good at on a daily basis. If you excel at running, dancing, cooking, painting or writing, don’t put these things off to another day, week, or month. An active participation in activities that you have mastered and enjoy, will reinforce your ability to achieve. This attitude, will carry over into the other areas in your life that you doubt yourself. To exemplify this, think of a party that you are invited to go to tonight. You are nervous because a lot of very important people will be there and you are concerned about making the right impression. If you spend two hours before the party, completely focused on doing something you are great at, you will walk into that party much more sure of yourself, than if you sat and watched television.

5. Stop obsessing about yourself. Yes, this sounds strange, but low self-esteem is often accompanied by focusing too much on one’s self. Start doing little things for others. Helping your kid sister with her homework, bringing a homeless man a sandwich, or walking the dogs at the animal shelter, will make you feel unimaginably better about yourself! Charitable good deeds, whether big or small, do wonders to build up self-confidence for two reasons. First, it takes your mental focus off yourself for a while. Secondly, you receive instant gratification that your small act of kindness, greatly impacted someone else.


You are in control of your own thinking and actions. Self-confidence is a state of mind. Your job is to get your thinking right and constantly do activities that reinforce positive thinking. 
Consider making the aforementioned steps a permanent part of your life. Remember that high self-esteem breads happiness and fulfillment. You won’t be disappointed.

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