The Other Side of Laughter

I love to laugh…I really enjoy good clean jokes and I love to surround myself by people who do have a healthy sense of humor. Not only that the time spent together is more enjoyable but it is also healthy for you to laugh, a heartfelt laughter.

Yet, as the title implies, we see people laughing in numerous occasions but behind the laughter, the heart can be very heavy and grieved. As Solomon puts it in the book of Proverbs 14:13: "Even in laughter the heart may be sorrowful, and mirth may end in heaviness."
Yes, there are times when laughter covers or hides deep pain, when laughter is used as a distraction, to distract others’ attention from the painful spot.

Sometimes unhealed relationships are the ones that you know that you did not reach a compromise, or if you did, it was very painful and you really don’t want to go into that again, so when you meet that particular person you sort of "laugh your way out", trying to say something funny, to create an apparently positive atmosphere when your heart actually tries to keep all the barriers up in order to avoid any future wounds. Yes, it happens and what can you do?

As someone said, if you know how that person behaves and you still stick around him or her, than you are asking for it! True, isn’t it? But it becomes a bit complicated when you have to cope with that person due to the role you have - maybe a colleague at work, maybe a relative or someone in Church.

It doesn’t really matter who, it seems that most people, willingly or not, run into persons that have this eagerness to bring everyone to their perfection standards at all costs, without even questioning their own faults and minuses. They are the ultimate professors, the embodiment of perfection.

Right, so to get rid of them, you try to keep it funny but it is just a way of protecting yourself because the joke you come up can’t be enjoyed as you’d normally benefit from it and laugh about with a friend or a pal who has not hurt you.

What I found useful in situations like that (I have to admit I was there, done that on a number of occasions) is to really have a deep understanding of the person’s environment and say that maybe it is the way they grew up or were educated, and they simply don’t know better. Regardless of what the reason might be, the true key to be set free in your heart (and protecting it without resentments) is to forgive them; yes, simply asking God for strength to forgive. Then your heart can be free again and even there has to be a restoration process (the restoration of the relationship) you can still laugh, still protecting your heart but without pain and hard feelings.

But there are also situations where no one could say that someone is actually sad in the midst of laughter. Solomon, after pondering upon our scant existence on the surface of the Earth made the following statements:"I said of laughter, "It is foolishness;" and of mirth, "What does it accomplish?" Ecclesiastes 2:2

And further on Solomon concludes that the sorrow is better than laughter: "Sorrow is better than laughter; for by the sadness of the face the heart is made good. " Ecclesiastes 7:3

This is quite the opposite. Yet, it is when we see the realities of life that we realize how fast life passes and it makes us think in perspective, keeping our eyes open to the fact that our end will one day also come and partying and laughing all day long will not have accomplished much in building out character and ultimately our lives.

"For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool. This also is vanity. "Ecclesiastes 7:6

The laugher of a fool (Bible calls "a fool", a person who says in his heart "there is no God") is vanity. However the goodness of God, our Creator and of Jesus Christ His Son is a constant call to straighten our path and become wise, redeeming time for our days are short.

May our laughter always be wholehearted and sincere with no pain hiding behind it!