The Only Way to Celebrate St Patricks Day - When Irish IDEAS are Smiling

If any one has the upper hand in making a St Patrick's Day celebration a success is the main man himself "Paddy" who better than Paddy to tell the best funny Irish jokes. If you are not of Irish accent but has Irish blood within urging you to Hooley then why not pop over to Ireland and commemorate this day with paddy and Mick themselves. Never been to Ireland then now is the time to go. Say a prayer alongside one of the saint statues scattered all over Ireland's countryside. You can expect a warm welcome from Irish locals. Remember the song :

If you're Irish come into the parlor
There's a welcome there for you
If your name is Timothy or Pat
So long as you come from Ireland
There's a welcome on the mat
If you come from the Mountains of Mourne
Or Killarney's lakes so blue
We'll sing you a song and we'll make a fuss
Whoever you are you are one of us
If you're Irish, this is the place for you!
and Jock and Taffy and every Tom Dick and Harry.

1 Paddy & Mick were strolling along one day, when they came across an abandoned car. They both jumped in, and started checking if everything was in working order. Paddy beeped the horn, "yes that works ok" he says. Then he flicks on his indicator and calls to "Mick, stick you head out of the window and see if it's working"...to which he replied "it is...it isn't...it is...it isn't..."

2 Paddy and Mick were working on a building site, Paddy says to Mick "I cant be bothered working all day I just want to go home" so he climbs to the top of the building site and hangs upside down on a steel girder so then the boss comes out and shouts "what the hell do you think your doing" Paddy says "pretending to be a light bulb" so the boss says "go home your being stupid". Mick decides to follow and says "I'm going home too" but just as he was putting his coat on the boss shouts "and where do you think your going" Mick says home because I'm not working in the dark"

3 Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over'. Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked and said 'Nope, it ain't Paddy.'

The mortician thought it all rather strange and then called upon Mick to identify the body. Mick took one look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'.
The mortician rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Paddy'.
A baffled mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Mick said, 'Well, Paddy had two assholes.'
'what, he had two assholes?' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, 'Here's Paddy with them two assholes.

About Ireland - We go back as far as the fourth century when Saint Patrick is believed to have been born. Saint Patrick a national apostle of Ireland. He was recognized for bringing Christianity to Ireland. St Patrick's Day is celebrated on March 17th because it is believed this day he died. Wherever you stay in Ireland you can expect your belly to be filled with Black/ white Pudding - Soda Bread - Potato Cakes and Colcannon. Colcannon is a tasty dish of mashed spuds and grated raw onion. Good healthy food washed down with a pint of Guinness. Research states that a pint of the black stuff a day may work as well as an aspirin to prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks. Poteen was produced in Ireland according to legend, from the time when the first potato was harvested. The term 'Irish moonshine whiskey' commenced from around 1660.

Pierce Brosnan well known for his role as James Bond came from County Meath, just like my very special mum born on Paddy's Day.

Paddy & Mick Jokes
Not in the mood to party