The Loss Of Life

I was replaced, in the midst of all the commotion I feel completely still. I feel at ease, yet so anxious. I don't know what to feel or what to say.
The Loss Of Life
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Why have they forgotten?
As they make new memories, I'm left in their trail of old.
Was I not acceptable?
The pain I feel, and the tears that have escaped out of my eyes, are no match to my anger.
I don't know what to feel.
This majestic bomb has been dropped upon my shoulders, and I feel numb.
I need something to make me feel twice as numb as I do now.
I feel pain, and hurt, but yet I feel nothing.
I don't understand the look you gave me.
Was it to make me freeze up, and not be able to move?
Was that head nod supposed to completely ruin my life?
Were those words meant to diminish my childhood?
I feel like nothing could make this better.
There's nothing anybody could do to help me.
To solve this, by making it go away.
I thought I had it all, I thought everything might be fine.
I was so terribly wrong.
I feel no excitement, I feel dread.
My life is not the same.
I'm not the same person I was four hours ago.
I feel no guilt for what I feel.
I felt I was a priority.
Now I feel like you could care less, and you can just make another me.
I feel jealousy, rage, insecurity, lonely, and hurt.
Am I wrong?
I hope you cry like I do, and hurt like I do.
Because this...is never, ever going away.
And I hope you know I will never accept it.
You and it doesn't belong here.
You both can suffer like I do.
I am so sick of being shit on.
No one seems to care what I think.
Maybe I am selfish, maybe I am wrong.
But how can I be wrong for what I feel?
I'm sorry, but there's just no getting past this.
I just cannot conquer this problem.
It's bigger than you, bigger than me, bigger than anything.
It's like I knew, but didn't want to accept that I knew.
Like subconsciously, I had known, and that's why I felt so unhappy for a long time.
I feel replaced.
I feel alone.

But yet, I feel nothing.
   By Shianne Campbell
Published: 11/14/2008
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