The Last Rains

The Last Rains....
It is still just April... just summer, as I wait for the rainy season to come. I wonder how I must tarry- with a hungry anticipation or with dread and helplessness.

I need the rains to come soon, for they'll be the last rains I'll see here, in this place. But, their coming will also mark the end of my years as a college student, as a liberated hostelite. That these years would force the teen in me to finally make a woman out of myself was expectedly unexpected.

The first rains brought with them a nervousness and an eagerness for the path that lay ahead. The pressure and the differences from our past experiences which was like a gaping valley, scared me, thrilled me and even more so proved to be an adventure.

The second rain was drenched in the red color of first love and romance. I laugh about those days as I think of them now. Nevertheless first love is special whatever, or whoever it maybe.

The next rain showed me that irrespective of seasons and regardless of the craziness around me, time would keep flowing. Standing in the middle of my journey through college, I realized that I'd already covered half, perhaps wishing I had covered a little bit more, a little bit less.

And the fourth rains, the final ones in this place for me, that are yet to come and which I madly await and yet terribly fear will come in a matter of a few months.

I await this final rain because it will set me free from this place, the broken memories of my heart, the stress and the sorrow around me. I will be ending the college days of walking slowly to lectures and scribbling poems in an important class. I will be ending the evenings turned nights of watching movie after movie sometimes with company and sometimes alone. These rains will end my crazy thoughts for I'd have to step out into the big bad world.

By the way in my anticipation I would like to think of my big world not being as bad. After all we the fresh ones, right out of protection and guidance, out of a cocoon of love and friendship will make this world a better place.

I want these rains to change the world and I fear their coming because my freedom will end to turn to responsibilities. Such is the irony of the last rains I await.