The lack of self-love today is more than just an individual crisis

The Joy Of Being You Sept. 2007 -
The lack of self-love is more than just an individual crisis
Did you let love into your life today? Do you know how to take care of the cracks of your ego?

If there were a skill I would want a child or any human being on the planet to cultivate into his or her life, it would be to appreciate, trust, and love who they are - regardless of their circumstances or conditions.

Can you enjoy who you are when the circumstances of your life are less than ideal? When things are not going your way, when you are triggered out of the flow of the present? Can you flow with the way things are and not turn against yourself unconsciously - taking it personally? Can you be OK with yourself and enjoy who you are never the less?

Easier said than done. "Re-member who you are my love" a friend reminded me the other day, when I got lost in pain, turned against myself and forgot to open to loving it - rather than resist it. I forgot to take care of my ego crack – feeling unwanted, although I had all the reasons to feel that way. (My partner left me a couple of months ago... I didn’t feel wanted as a child.... etc.)

Can you re-member who you are, when you are fragmented with self doubt and are torn inside by pain, or when you feel lonely, anxious or depressed; can you see it as an opening to love that part in you - because it is part of who you are, and this is your job (Joy Of Being) here? Are you ready to become more responsible for your life by loving your ‘unwanted parts’, and thus more powerful?

The very thing that we are most afraid of, repulsed by or resist - is in us, hiding in a crack of the ego, making up a life of its own, draining us of vital energy, joy and authenticity, often putting the blame on someone else – or on ourselves. Eventually, this pain, this hurt, this disturbance, needs our own compassionate attention, acceptance and love, first by calming our world into a more surrendered state of conscious breathing, body grounding, thought investigation, or dancing with abandon.

At any point in time, you can re-create yourself, calm your world and allow love into the cracks in your wounded ego – and really take care of yourself in a way that only you can, returning to presence and the Joy of being you.

Nothing is more creative, more magical and more spiritual than allowing love - our very essence, heal us, fill you, and set us free.
As I'm writing, my nose is running, and my throat is scratching. I have one of these summer colds - that sometimes happens after you have had too much sugar,too much cheese, not too much sleep, and after you let go of something you were attached to and were stressed about. I was supposed to go to Paris for a couple of days - and the trip got cancelled three hours before it was to take place. We couldn't find a hotel because it was fashion week and a world rugby tournament was taking place. We had a choice to make - to leave anyway, hoping that some hotel would have room upon our arrival, or to let it go. We chose the later. Immediately after making that choice I felt relief, not realizing the stressful toll of spending hours on the phone and on the Internet trying to find a hotel would take on me. However, what really stayed with me was a joy of being. In the communication I had with about fifteen hotel managers - I felt respect, politeness and humor. "Could they sense that while talking to them I was surrendering to my breath, connecting to theirs and flexing my core muscles? Did they actually sense thousands of miles away that I was doing some inner work while speaking to them, sending them a wave of joy through my breath? It was as if I went to Paris energetically – without taking a flight. Instead of having jet-leg I had a summer cold, feeling the Joy Of Being. I didn’t take it personally. My ego was not wounded by it.

The process became more important than the results. Enjoying the process made it easier to let go of the trip and accept that it was not meant to be. The connection to the breath accessed the joy of being. Without a connection to something innate that we all share, beyond our divisive Ego Fear Mind - there is no real joy. But, making this connection – is primarily our responsibility alone as human beings. While everyone wants it – it is also most resisted and feared by the Ego Fear Mind.

What happened to senator Craig, getting caught in a 'lewd act' in a public bathroom, exemplifies the absurdity and the struggle to become and enjoy who we are. We live in a culture so hypocritical about the right to be who we are, yet celebrating those who dare to be themselves. We desperately need to cut through the veils of shame, denial and fear of our true nature, and need more demonstrations of those who dare to be themselves and enjoy who they are.

"The lack of self-love is more than just an individual crisis: it is an ecological hazard. When we condemn and loathe ourselves we tend to condemn others, the world and the way things are. For this reason, we feel alienated from the human family. Conversely, loving ourselves unites us with the world and makes it a happier place. Only by reconnecting to presence - our authentic selves, can we be connected to the world at large." (an excerpt from the Joy Of Being You)

What if you were honest and courageous enough with yourself to realize that what you really have in this life is the truth and the joy of being you - your presence. And yes, there is a price to be paid for that. Perhaps part of it is putting yourself in embarrassing situations and get caught in a pubic bathroom... clicking your feet.... snapping your fingers... for a stolen moment of intimacy, while helping legislate laws that punish people and deprive them of the right to be who they are. On the other hand - this is an opportunity to wake up and let love into the crack of the ego that is wrecked with shame and denial of being. Maybe, that’s what we have to go through in the process of becoming free to be who we are?

How many of us, are jumping through hoops, putting ourselves in harms way, lying and deceiving, betraying and abandoning ourselves - because we are so afraid, guilty and ashamed of being who we are, unable to have compassion, accept and love ourselves - envious of and acting out against those who are?
The mission of this work is to help you become authentic and cultivate happiness with yourself - your presence; access the joy of being you, and express it in your own life, share it with others, the environment and in the world. (Including forgiving yourself for your f---k ups, because you’re human -:)

The Joy Of Being You - book and 2 CD's can help you become the one you have been waiting for and cultivate presence. Feeling safe and worthy to open up and compassionately recognize the cracks of your wounded ego, fill them with spaciousness and love, and heal in you what you’re mostly afraid of, resistant to and stuck - on a daily basis. It provides you with simple skills and practices and with a special 21 days of

Cultivating Authenticity, Self - Love & Presence by:
1.Calming Your World - clearing stress, pain, anxiety and insecurity
2.Accessing your spiritual Intelligence, intuition and good sense,
3.Aligning with your breath...
4.Grounding your body...
5.Investigating your thoughts.....
6.Waking up your heart...
7.Freeing your spirit...
8.ConfiDANCE - dancing with abandon...
Our programs include: Introductory six-week courses, intermediate 12-week group training, advanced coaching programs for groups and for individuals, and individual and couple sessions. We conduct workshops, lectures and retreats. We offer CD’s, DVD’s books and articles, email support and online demonstration.

Samuel Kirschner has spent 20 years as a body/mind therapist and a meditation teacher, speaker and author. In the 1980s, he facilitated The New York Healing Circle, which helped thousands of people with HIV live with a sense of peace and self-acceptance. Trained in body-centered psychotherapy, and in the Zen tradition and the Vipassana style of meditation, as well as in MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction - by Jon Kabat Zinn), Samuel is in private practice in Manhattan. He has been teaching Living in the Present / Dynamic Mindfulness Meditation through individual & couple sessions, classes, workshops, organizational wellness training and retreats.