The Joys of Motherhood

My son was born in the year 2003. As clichéd as it might sound, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I couldn't believe that I had brought this little human being into the world. He was so tiny, I was afraid to hold him in my arms for fear of dropping him. But the moment I held him, all my fears melted away. When the nurse handed him over to me, he was crying his lungs out. I wondered how something so tiny could make so much noise! But the moment the nurse placed him in my arms his crying stopped, and he made himself comfortable in the nook of my arms. I was overwhelmed by the need to protect him. It was a new feeling. I hadn't experienced it so strongly ever before. It felt good.

The next big thing was bringing him home. My husband and I had done a lot of study about the things we would need once he was home. The car seat, the stroller, the crib, diapers, wipes, cotton balls, Onesies, baby blankets, socks, we had it all covered. Our son was finally home, and we were on our own, panicking! We had a list of all the phone numbers we might need posted on the refrigerator. Pediatrician's no – check, after-hours no – check, 911 – check. I mean, who knew what we might need, what sort of situation we might face, what kind of emergency we might be in. We weren't confident about how this little being would survive outside the womb. A part of me wished he had remained in my womb forever. It was so much easier to take care of him that way. Then I remembered how uncomfortable I had been in the last month of my pregnancy, waddling around like a duck (a big duck), having to go to the bathroom soon after I had gone to the bathroom, not being able to bend over to tie the shoelaces of the shoes which I wore so that I didn't fall, since my center of gravity was completely off-balance. No, I couldn't do that again, at least not so soon, or in the near future, or like maybe a couple of years down the road.

The first day home was a blur. Finally, it was night. Time to hit the bed after a REALLY long day. My son was asleep, and my husband and I plopped into bed, sighing with pleasure as we sank into the comfortable mattress (which I had made my husband buy for me when I was pregnant, saying, "You are not the one who has to sleep with a belly the size of a watermelon.") Aah, the simple joys of life! Soon, we were fast asleep. I didn't know if it was a dream or if I was hearing someone crying in the distance. I decided it was the former and sank even deeper into bed. There it was again, and this time it seemed distinctly closer that before, and very persistent. I woke up with a jerk as I realized that it was coming from my own infant. I woke my husband up from his deep slumber. He had a rather confused expression on his face. Then he heard the crying, and realization dawned upon him that we had a baby at home. This continued for what seemed like eternity. My son woke up every two hours to feed. Then we burped him and changed him. Soon, it became like a drill, which we were able to do even half-asleep, which we were because of all the sleep deprivation. By the end of six months my husband and I were dead tired, and starting to look like zombies from the terrible lack of sleep. How long was this going to go on? When people talked about babies, they were all like, "Oh, they are so cute, they are so adorable, they are the best thing that could ever happen to you." Well, I was beginning to have serious doubts about that. I wondered if I was a bad mother. I mean, I loved my baby, but it wouldn't have hurt if he slept all night and a couple of hours during the day, so I could SLEEP! It wasn't like I was asking for much, and believe me, I could have asked for a lot more, like having time to go to the bathroom, or taking a nice warm bath, or eating, or going out to a nice restaurant, or shopping for something other than diapers and groceries, or going to the salon, or watching TV, or basically having a life!

Although it seemed really long back then, the time just flew. My son is 6 years now, and I wonder how the years have just gone by. There was a time when I couldn't wait for my son to get older so that our life could return to 'normal'. Well, life never returned to normal, the way I had hoped it would, but it turned into a new normal, which was so much more satisfying and rewarding than ever before. I wondered where I would be if I hadn't had my son. I wondered if I would be the same person. My son has taught me so much. He has taught me how to be happy, he has taught me how to enjoy every moment to the fullest, he has taught me how to appreciate the smallest thing that comes my way, he has taught me how to forgive and forget. And above everything else, he has taught me how to love, completely and unconditionally. I've had so many memorable moments with him. His first smile, his first tooth, the first time he turned over, the first time he sat by himself, the first time he walked. They are all etched in my mind forever, and I wouldn't have missed them for anything in the world! Yes, they are right, having a baby is the best thing that can ever happen to you.