The Good News About Being Friends With Your Ex Boyfriend

It's an age-old question: can you be still friends with someone you once dated? There are several answers to this, depending upon what your motives are. If you're the one who ended things, staying friends will be a whole lot easier for you. Emotionally you won't be as attached as him. Be prepared though, because he'll probably want to get back together with you. He wasn't ready to break up, and you can't expect him to just leave his feelings at the door and strip away all of his emotions until nothing but platonic friendship remains.

Similarly, if you were the one who got dumped, your ex boyfriend can't expect the same of you. Wanting your boyfriend back is a natural reaction, especially if you thought the relationship was going well. Getting back into your boyfriend's arms is possible, but not if you allow yourself to become his friend. Trying to rekindle your romance while pretending to be friends with your ex will always lead to awkwardness and confusion.

So can you be friends with your ex? The short answer is no. Not if you still love and want him. There are too many things going against you: jealousy, resentment, and feelings of rejection. He doesn't feel or see these things, but to you they'll be plain as day. And when your exboyfriend meets someone else? You're going to wish you never agreed to be friends with him, because now you'll get a very unwanted up close look as he dates other girls and then tells you about them... all while you pretend to be happy for him as a good friend should.

But there is also good news about being friends with your ex boyfriend. It stems from the way he broke up with you, and how he treated you afterward. Because by not walking away... and by trying to still keep you around in a friendship type capacity... your ex is not completely over you yet.

There are signs that your ex boyfriend still loves you, and you should recognize what they are. Calling you, emailing you, hanging out with you... these are not the actions of someone who's done with your relationship. A guy who's completely finished with a girl will always walk away, because it's more comfortable not to talk to you at all. But keeping you around, staying friendly with you, and even seeing you from time to time? These are all signs and signals that your ex wants you back.

Now does he want you back right now? Probably not. He's enjoying being "available" for the time being, and may start pursing other interests. This is where you need to take immediate action, and not just sit back and watch things unfold from a friendship standpoint. Your next step is to make your ex boyfriend miss you. And you accomplish this by refusing to be friends with him, and just walking away.

Think about it. If you're providing your ex with friendship, companionship, and just about everything he already had while he was still dating you, your exboyfriend has no incentive to get back together again. He'll never even think of taking you back romantically because he's getting everything but the physical closeness you once had (and some ex girlfriends even give that up too...) but without any burden of responsibility that comes with a long-term relationship. He gets to see you, but not have to call you. He gets to hang out with you, but not have to explain where he was the previous night. It's the most comfortable scenario for him: one where he knows he can get you back with a snap of his fingers, but is legally allowed to play the field while you sit on the bench.

For you, it's a bad situation. Being friends with your ex boyfriend inhibits any forward progress you'd make toward getting your ex back. So by walking away, you're taking all of those comforts away from him and putting him in a position where he doesn't know where you are. Don't call your ex, email him, text-message him - you need to break all contact. By doing this, your ex starts to think the worst: that you no longer need him.

As the days go by and you haven't called or seen him at all, your exboyfriend will even start to think that maybe you found someone else. This will shake him up enough to try and call you, and start taking steps in your direction. And from there, you've just made your first moves toward winning back your boyfriend.

Never try to substitute friendship for an actual relationship, thinking it will help you get your ex back. Being friends is never the answer. If you want your exboyfriend back, you need to work toward that one specific goal. Put together a step by step plan of action, and stick to it. Because the path that leads into his arms again definitely does not lead through an area of friendship.

There are 8 Individual Steps that will Get Back Your Ex Boyfriend, so find out what they are! The faster you get out of the friendship role, the quicker you can get started on winning him back.