The Glory Hole

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting in the internet café, maliciously moseying through page after beautiful webpage of pornography on one of the computers provided and I realized something. Liquid was in need of being released from the confines of my penis. No, I know what you may be thinking and it wasn’t semen. I realized that in the long period of time that I’d been sitting there, I’d managed to drink in excess of six cups of delicious coffee and I needed to pass water very badly.

I leapt from my stool and slammed shut the laptop computer so no wandering eyes would witness my perverse online activity. Unfortunately, the computer wasn’t a laptop and the giant monitor went crashing violently to the floor, the screen shattering into millions of tiny shards. Every eye in the establishment was on me. I despise these situations. I broke wind noisily and headed briskly for the restroom, knocking over two stools on my way there.

I burst into the restroom only to find myself face to face with an open bathroom stall containing an elderly woman who seemed to be straining to pass some horrendous gal stone. The smell was atrocious and I felt the bile rise to the back of my throat. Upon seeing me standing there, the crotchety old boiler let out a bellow that shook the earth beneath me. That and the fact that there were two other women at the sink powdering their noses gave me the immediate impression that I was indeed in the ladies’ room. I tipped my hat to the women and stepped back outside. Unfortunately, I wasn’t wearing a hat at the time so I looked quite ridiculous. I scowled and stepped into the men’s room.

I chose the stall against the wall, not because it’s usually bigger, but because of the fact that if someone were to try to attack me, they would only have two directions to choose from. I immediately closed and locked the door and then proceeded to let my pants and briefs fall to my ankles. I find it’s more relaxing to urinate with everything pulled down. I would use the urinals but I tend to get some strange and offended looks. Especially from children. I digress.

I took hold of my member so as to aim my golden stream in the direction of the commode but moments before I could let it flow, I noticed something on the wall of the stall. It was a hole about waist high and looked as if it went all the way through. It had a diameter of about two inches and was surrounded with crude handwriting. I pinched off my penis and leaned in for a closer look. I couldn’t make out some of the smaller writing because I wasn’t wearing my reading glasses but I did understand the large bold marker directly above the hole.

"Put dick here for a good time!"

I stared in bewilderment at the powerful words before me. Was I to understand that if I was to put my penis through this hole, I was to be shown a good time? Well, there’s few things I enjoy in this world, but a good time is definitely one of them. Without another thought, I crammed my penis and testicles through the hole in the stall. Suddenly I realized that I still needed to urinate very badly. I figured the good time would still be there after I relieved myself, so I let flow with a strong, steady stream of warm, amber piss. For a few seconds I was in heaven. That is, until I heard the horrified scream from the next stall.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!? WHOEVER’S PISSING ON ME IS GOING TO DIE!!!"

The stall door next to me swung open with a crash. I hastily yanked my testicles and penis back through the hole, urine filling the air around me.
I had barely zipped and buttoned up my pants when the door to my stall came busting in. A large mustached man in a soaked wife beater came charging at me like a bull. His right hand closed around my neck and his left came directly at my jaw. At this point, I lost all memory of what happened due to the fact that I was unconscious.

I woke up in the alley behind the internet café. My face was very swollen and there was something that looked like teeth marks on my earlobe. I struggled to my feet and walked back to the front of the store. I was still in need of a good time and this time I didn’t have to urinate.