The Funny Thing About Breaking up Is, It's Not Funny

Waking up this morning is one thing that happened good today, strange but that's how I'm now checking off the days events. It seems that every good moment is followed by a sad one. The last year is playing in my head like a movie that stars me and I have no control over editing and every detail is exaggerated, whether happy or sad.

You see, I have made myself quite comfortable over the past year, relaxed in knowing that I finally found the one person who trusted and loved me as much as I love myself. The tricky part about being cozy is it never lasts forever and the second you make one wrong move it's hard to find that exact perfect position.

I have always been able to find humor in every situation, It's a gift and a curse, some might call me foolish but I think it's a defense mechanism. Laughter guards me from harsh reality and gets me through to the pleasant aftermath without suffering. I laugh at people getting hurt only to comfort them and help them to their feet when they need a hand. When my uncle was dying I surrounded myself with laughter and good friends to relieve the thought of the greatest man I've ever known being taken. I laugh at it all off to a fault. What else does the Court Jester do when his heart is filled with pain? Does he retire, or take hiatus out west and come back with the greatest comeback album of all time? Right now it seems neither option will suffice.

In the beginning there was..... Oh wait that's the wrong story!

In the beginning of my time with her it seemed like I could do no wrong choosing this route, she was my best friend, my entertainment, and my soulmate (insert Napoleon Dynamite joke). As a free spirit I made my journey with a zig and a zag, dodging most obstacles while getting pelted by few. I lived my life on a lazy river sipping beer and wearing 30 spf to keep reality at bay. I made the choice to start this whole thing with a heavy heart, knowing that it would put me in a position to lose a lot, not only friends but freedom.

With her invitation to ride, my lazy river was now a highway, cruising in the middle lane passing the slow pokes while the busy bodies passed with jealous grimaces piercing my tinted windows. I had that, I had that good stuff, the kind of stuff that's in books. I had no desire to see romantic comedies because theirs had nothing on mine! We took a few exits on our way to this but it was never a worry because I knew we would be back on the road again soon. This exit has no rest stops, no restaurants, nothing but car lots, and an open door inviting me to step out onto the single lane dimly lit road. What the fuck! Is this where it ends? Is this where I begin the trip on my own? I didn't ask for this I just wanted some Funions! Why did I get ditched? I'll get Fritto's instead, I promise, anything, just come back, rescue me from my initial decision. Take me back to my river.

The horizon is the scariest place in the world right now, what's next? I mean, I had an idea a week ago, really I did, we had plans! I finally had foresight, finally had a few brief visions of my future and it was awesome! In front of me is nothing, darkness.

Of course, it's not that bad, I have a miniature version of me that needs me, he will learn from this too. My son will get taught not to put too much faith in what people call love. Love can be one-sided, you can pour it out while not getting any in return leaving you left empty. Not to say that's what has happened but I'm drained. The only thing I haven't done is cry, the only tears that will ruin my makeup will be for my boy, he will miss out on a great person.

Here I go again, single, over 30 and frickin handsome.. I'm ditching this lonely road and hopping back on my tube but first I gotta hit up sunoco for some sun chips and a case of Miller Lite. The horizon might not be so bad with a beer buzz and an awesome soundtrack. So, I will be okay, days turn into nights and nights turn into new days and with each one the bulb on the projector gets dimmer yet, with the lights of the theater revealing all that I have to be thankful for.