The First Time Your Heart is Stolen - Do You Ever Forget That?

The first crush….the first time your heart beats a hundred beats a second, the first time every move you make is accentuated and orchestrated for the eyes of that one special person. The first time you were aware of the attraction, you became acutely attuned to this person’s every move. You long for this person’s one glance and maybe a whisper of a smile would suffice.

For most of us, our first crush is usually….a celebrity. As I am mentioning this in this article, my thought rushes to Joe McIntrye of the then-popular-now-back New Kids On The Block. He was first unreal (but felt very real and possible back then) crush and he took over my whole imaginary world guarded fiercely with my life from my parents and other adult outsiders.

Then, subsequently, once we’ve realized that the potential of ever hooking up with these celebrities is as slim as our grandmother’s sewing needles, we start noticing that there are real potentials around us in school. Suddenly, a whole world opens up to you and like bees swarming around a hive, you realize the dance of love….you’ve to dance the dance in order to attract the real people.

But that’s the law of attraction and I am not touching that today.

What I am saying here is this…that the first crush that you develop, you’ll most likely never forget. I remember my first crush very well. Oh, he wasn’t one of those high school jocks kinds but…more like someone whom you would, with no trouble at all, classify as a NERD. I know….beats me, as well.

He was a pudgy boy who had a swelled-up face veiled by enormous glasses; he had a constant bow towards the desk writing down work while I admire the top of his head. That was my first crush and he never returned my affections despite the many times that I deliberately walked past his desk just to get….something….ANYTHING. I would befriend the person who sat to his left, to his right, to the front or the back just so that I can find excuses to chat them up so that he would notice me.

The moment he noticed me….it was for the wrong reason. The teacher caught me red-handed with a romance novel reading under my desk.

Anyway, throughout the years, my first crush never left me because sometimes, I find myself thinking how his pudgy self is doing….if he ever thinks about me or even remembers me. I wasn’t (still isn’t) much of a looker but considering the fact that I (must have) walked past, behind and in front of him so many times that he must’ve thought I belong on Elm Street and his nightmares, at least!

When I look back, it occurred to me that it’s the first sign of the ‘law of attraction’ at work – I may be homing down on the gorgeous babes who frequent the pubs and clubs at night while guzzling down beer, but deep inside my heart, my first crush says it all. My inclination is for homely, smart, intelligent, quiet guys who would rather let me shine and is patient while I do my thing and he does his.

The countless dates and boyfriends speaks for itself too because I noticed that the men that I usually fell for in the past, were guys who were a little pudgy and wore glasses….except for the negligible few who were too good-looking for their own good.

You never forget your first crush. You may not think about that person very much but it is so heart-warming, sometimes, to think and wonder about them. Somehow, you’ll sit there wondering, like me, what he/she ever thought about you and if things were to go your way, what would have happened.

The memory may not be accessed a lot right now but it’s there.

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